Okay okay- so a lot of these are stupid, but my Daddy got me hooked on them and they are SO fun!  Here's my collection...  (in three glorious pages)   :)

-How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?

Three in front and three in back

-How do you know when there's an elephant in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

-How do you know when there are two elephants in your refrigerator?

1: Two sets of footprints in the butter.

2: You can hear them kissing.

-How do you know when there are three elephants in your refrigerator?

1: Three sets of footprints in the butter.

2: You can't close the door.

-How do you know you have four elephants in your refrigerator?

There is a Volkswagen parked outside.

-How do you fit an elephant into the fridge?

Simple. Open door, put elephant in, close door.

-How do you fit a giraffe into the fridge?

Open door, remove elephant, put giraffe in, close door.

-How do you kill a white elephant?

With a white elephant gun.

-How do you kill a gray elephant?

Tell scary stories until he turns white, then shoot him with a white-elephant gun.

-How do you kill a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun, of course.

-How do you kill a red elephant?

You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

-How do you shoot a green elephant?

Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

-How do you shoot a yellow elephant?

Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!

-Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

To hide in cherry trees.

-Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

No, so I guess it works!

-Why do elephants wear green nail polish?

So they can hide in a pea-patch.

-Why do elephants paint their toenails red, green and orange?

So they can hide in crayon boxes

-Why do elephants wear yellow sneakers?

So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard

-By the way, what is the black triangle sticking out of the custard?

It's a shark. That's why the elephants hide...

-Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?

No?  Wow.  Elephants sure are good with disguises

-Why do elephants live in herds?

To get a wholesale reduction on the yellow shoes

-What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming over the hill?

"The elephants are coming over the hill"

-What did Tarzan say when the elephants wearing dark glasses were coming over the hill?

Nothing, he couldn't recognize them.

-What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?

"Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"

-Why do elephants wear dark sunglasses?

With all these dumb jokes going around, would YOU want to be recognized

-What did Cheetah say when the elephants were coming over the hill?

"Here come the grapes" - Cheetah is color blind.

-What is the difference between a grape and an elephant?

They're both purple, except for the elephant.

-If you're color blind how do you tell an elephant from a grape?

Jump around on it for awhile.  If you don't get any wine it's elephant.

-What's the difference between elephants and grapes?

Grapes are purple.

elephant jokes- page 2

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