An "Einstein protege" had been casing a Boston bank for several days, waiting for just the right moment to commit robbery. HE went through teh customer line and approched the teller's window, produced a handgun and announced loudly "This is a holdup, Nobody Move!" Much to his dismay, the next 5 customers were armed FBI agents on their lunch breaks, attemption to cash their checks. His "genius" casing job had failed to notice teh FBI Field Office two doors down
San Fransisco, CA- A man walked into teh downtown Bank of AMerica and on the back of a deposit slip wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, to give his not to the teller, the man began to worry that someone may have seen him write the note and might call the police before he could reach the teller. So, the criminal left the Bank of America and walked acreoss the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting in line for several minutes there, he handed his note to the teller. After reading it, the teller determined that this robber was perhaps a few sandwiches short of a picnic. She told him that because his note was written on a Bank of America deposit slip, she could not honor his demand. He would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo withdrawlslip or go back to teh Bank of America. Feeling defeated, the man said he understood and left. The Wells Fargo teller promptly called the police, who arrested teh man a few minutes later--still waiting in line at the Bank of America
A man stole a plastic bag full of dog shit from an old woman walking her dog.- (what the hell did he think was in the bag?)
Here's some retarded lawsuits:
In CA, a woman sued a grocery store becuase a 6 pack of beer dropped on her foot, nothing was broken but "it hurt"- she won the case.
Tulsa- A construction worker used a circular saw to intentionally cut off one of his hands while on teh work site. He claimed that the hand was possessed. Co-workers rushed the man to the hospital adn brought the severd hand. At the hospital, the man demanded that the dotors NOT reattach the hand becuase it was possessed. Now he is suing the doctors and hospital for damages ecause he claims they should have known that he was psychotic adn reattached the hand anyway.
A guy sued Anheuser-Bush for emotional distress after drinking the company's beer without later having "success w/ women"
A minister and his wife sued a guide dog school when a blind man stepped on the wife's toes in a shopping mall. (Did it really hurt that bad, i mean geez that could happen to anyone, nothing to sue over, i hope they lost)
A San Diego man sued the city for emotional trauma during a concert when he saw a women using the mens restroom (what the hell, just go in there and maybe you'll get laid, who knows, unless you're ashamed of your manhood)
A New York woman sued teh company that makes The Clapper, claiming she "had to clap too hard in order to turn on her appliances.
I don't remember how this one goes exactly but you'll get the point: There was this lady and she pushed her automatic unlocker for her car and the batteries were dead and she was found crying next to her car becuase she was going to have to walk a long way to a battery store so she could open her car. Well this guy stopped to try and figure out what was wrong and she told him that she was locked out of her car. So he said " Here give me the keys" he stuck the key in the lock and said now you can drive to that battery store. What and idiot that lady was-- a little too dependent on technology.
This one happened to a friend of mine: We were up on the North Shore by Lake Superior and 2 of my friends and I were wading in the water before we had to go to our college visit. The rocks were slippery with moss. Well I almost fell in but managed to splash around and regain my balance. A few minutes later my friend Kassie slipped but wasn't so lucky, she fell right when there was this medium sized wave coming in and her butt was all wet and it looked like she peed her pants. I was laughing so hard that i almost fell it. What a good day that was.