In the future there is only war.
I started playing WH40K, or 40K, when I was supposed to (according to
Gamesworkshop marketing strategy) as a young teenager, drawn in by an English
friend who was already a pawn of the hobby's only superpower, back in the days
when White Dwarf wasn't a total advertisement and had articles on other
company's products. This was the day of Rogue Trader, the first edition of 40K
and remained still the best until the latest Edition, 4th came out, and put an
end to the haphazard way the game developed and morphed with each White Dwarf
supplement. Then my first armies were Marines and Orks, the stock standard
front-cover foes. Who can resist the Emperor's mightiest warriors and their
most villianest foes? Not me anyway. Then I added the mysterious Harlequins,
close combat warriors par-excellence, so pretentious about their abilities
that they wore bright carnival costumes and didn't have any armour. Yes, they
were good psykers (if the Rogue Trader psyker die rolls gave a fortunate
result), and well equipped for melee, but they rarely got there as with T3 and
a poor armour save, these expensive warriors either died or hid behind clouds
of blind grenades waiting for the enemy to come through.
As the game mutated
and we all got older and wiser, and historical miniatures wargaming in the
form of DBM and its requirement of a Doctorate in Ye
Olde English to understand waxed for me. Greeks, Romans, Eskimos, lend me your
spears. I left 40K behind as it descended into madness, picking up the Dark
Eldar Codex for 3rd Ed but pursuing the matter no further, sometimes getting a
White Dwarf for the painting or terrain articles, until, having seen the new
races, especially the anime-inspired Tau, I waited patiently for 4th Edition
and returned to the game when it was released by beginning to collect a Witch
Hunters and more specifically a Sisters Of Battle company.
I was after a
game that required little thought, could provide instant candy-like
gratification, and had nice models to paint. Melbourne, with at least two
Games Workshop stores, provided the proving grounds to play and a group of new
opponents and friends, even if I was destroyed most of the time. At least my
SoB army can faithfully call it martyrdom and the Emperor of Mankind accepts
the result.
Sisters of Battle: Witch
Hunters! What a front cover, an Imperial Inquisitor plasmaing a heretical
mutant corpse, crazed Repentia, and cherry-red armoured battle Nun with a
bolter, no one can resist the (Spanish) Inquisition. I like this army on so
many levels, not just the potential for background fun, Monty Python, and an
all-female force. There are the Arco-flagellants or flatulents as the have
been dubbed instore, easily the craziest acting and looking miniatures GW has
produced. In fact, the entire SoB range, being all metal, have to be some of
the best they have ever done. Towering, easily destroyed Penitent Engines,
driver racked to the monsterous frame spewing flamer death to any who stray
close enough or crushing all in melee, huge chainsword wielding Sisters
Repentia, scantily clad (who says GW put Lost & The Damned: Slaves to
Pleasure behind them?) easily destroyed eye-candy, dozens of cherry-red power
armour peroxide-white haired rapid firing bolter armed girls easily destroyed
in hand-to-hand, a handful of the same hefting huge heavy bolters and flamers,
and a Heroine that can be given many tasks expect HTH unless she has a squad
to die around her first, and a super Heroine that can come back from the dead,
again and again! No longer does a beautiful model sit in the casualty bin for
most of the game.
The Sisters aren't as tough as the Marines or toting as
many tanks as the Imperial Guard but they do come with nice advantages that
further increase their allure. Those being: the Exorcist tank buster, like the
SoBs other special units, this missile launching platform is completely
random. It can be grande, or it can be a total waste of points, with the SoBs
that's how all the interesting units play and why I got them. Blame it all on
the dice. Then there is Faith - you gotta have Faith. What can be better than
turning Sv3 power armour into invulnerable? Plasma bombardments (which the WH
can have, hehe) can be a thing of the past, cherry-red ladies walking through
without a single white hair being singed. Assassins are fun too, armed with a
neuro-disruptor to appear anywhere on the table and mow down a squad with an
assault weapon before charging into the next with a sword that ignores ANY
save. Whirlwind of destruction (I use an Iron Kingdoms model for the
assassin).
I must say that I like the SoBs so much that I wrote a fanfiction
for them, Gloria. I have a fairly big army already,
but this list is one that packs so much variety in the form of an Inquisitors
enlarged retinue, a pure Sisters company, or a mix, and other Imperial troops
can be added in as well although I would only take a Daemon Hunters Grey
Knight contingent. You see, I don't think six arco-flagellants are enough, nor
two Penitent Engines. I don't think I'd take Stormtroopers however, Sisters
are worth their weight in Faith for the extra point, better armoured and
better skilled. Just are forced to have larger squads, yet twenty SoBsters in
rapid fire range using Act of Guidance is truly a box of dice to be seen
rolled.
Tau: My second new army and
what got me interested in 40K again, not all the dice rolling. Sleek
uninterrupted lines, robotech/gundam mecha. It didn't matter that they are
worse in HTH than the Sisters and that the Kroot are fodder even for the
Imperial Guard. I only have a small force of these guys, Kroot included
(because I have a great colour scheme for them), and plan to mechanize the
entire force in APCs or Crisis Suits (the Kroot can tankride). Yet for a
shooty army, with a nice S5 Sv5 30" trooper rifle, BS3 is kinda weak.
Harlequins:
The ultimate theme army, more so than the Dark Eldar whose upgraded Wyches
have made the supposed masters of melee rather poor. I still have all my old,
thickly varnished Harlequins in the original box. I've been told to repaint
them (maybe that means I've gotten better at painting and can do a nicer job)
and maybe I will if I can find a flame thrower to clean them with. I also have
an old zine that has the latest army list (in print). It is small and in dire
need for an upgrade to bring it in line with 4th Ed's close combat rules as
many of the advantages Harlequins had are now available to all. But I still
like this army and its introduction to the store caused much amazement and I
was able to annihilate the Necron player who had always beaten my SoBs in
short order. But even with all their attacks, no armour save and T3 means that
they are still too easy to kill. I have read some online army lists but found
none that haven't fallen into the 'my favourite army must be the best and
can't lose' mentality or don't do justice to what I think the Harlequins
are/should be: acrobats, performers with an Italian bent. Here's what I'd do
to improve the Harlequins into a more playable army:
- Psyhics: Bring back the talent. The original Harlequin squad leaders
(Avatars) could be psykers and the Troupe could have a High Warlock and
many other lesser Warlocks. Skills should be limited to misdirection,
chance, and mind control/hypnosis that benefit circus conjurers.
- Grenade Packs: Warlocks had access to mini grenade launchers. Their
return would provide a boost to the Harlequin's firepower.
- Puppeteers: Never existed, but fix the theme exactly. A Harlequin
controlling a squad of suicide bomber Pinocchio robots; added variety.
- Melee: Here the Harlequins have suffered greatly as all combatants have
a 2" kill zone. The Harlequins as masters of melee and acrobatics
should have their zone extended to 4", tying into their dispersed
formation. A save is also needed now that cheaper Dark Eldar Wyches get a
4+ invulnerable save (and more attacks if armed with Wych weapons) in HTH
and will always beat a similar point squad of Harlequins. It is currently
better to have a Wych Coven list and use Harlequin models.
- Armour Save: Should be based on movement as the further and faster a
Harlequin travels, the better the kaleidoscope produced by the domino
field. 4+ inv for normal move, 3+ inv if fleet of foot is used the
previous turn.
- Points Cost: As they stand, basic Troupers are far too expensive for
their capabilities. Sure a well played army can beat any other opponent,
but that can be said of any army in the hands of an excellent player. All
things being equal, Troupes are overpriced in comparison to the better
Dark Eldar Wyches.
- Webway: As masters of the Webway, it is noticeable that the Harlequins
do not have a webway portal as the Dark Eldar do. It would be entirely
feasible for the Harlequins to have the same, if not better, technology. I
would suggest Deep Strike but able to move the turn arrived. This would
let the Harlequins disperse their formation so template weapons don't
destroy the entire army in one turn. Immediate Assault is the cry
opponents would make, seeing their squads wiped out right away. It would
require strenuous playtesting, and a change of tactics to cope with such a
dangerous melee enemy, as the Harlequins are meant to be.
Images © Games Workshop, photos self.