The Three Little Pigs for the 21st Centurty

       Once upon a time there were three pigs, and the three pigs went out into the world to make a home for themselves. The youngest of the three brothers, Jacob, Decided to have his house built out of wood, The middle child, William, wanted to make his house out of Bricks, and the oldest of the three, Damon.......well, first you gotta understand something about Damon, See, he was kind of an odd fellow, rather paranoid actually, so he decided to make his home in an abandoned military nuclear weapons silo.
        Well, the three brothers lived in their new homes for a couple of years and they were settling into a rather comfortable life, but then, Jacob got a knock on his door. It was someone sent from the Big Bad Wolf Mafia. See, the pigs didn't have any money, or possessions, no credit no nothing, so in order to get the money to make a home for themselves, they had to borrow from the mafia. The wolf was sent to collect the money or else, and he would not take no for an answer. The wolf shouted through the door, "let me in, or I will burn you house down" the pig replied "I don't have your money, come back in three days". Frustrated, the wolf shouted "I have to have the money today, this is you last chance to let me in or I will burn down your house" Jacob scrambled to get his most prized possessions and left through a secret exit built into the house as insisted by his brother Damon, he knew that if he let the wolf in he would surely be nothing more than a large ham dinner. He got in his car and scurried off to crash at his brother William's place. He looked in his rear view mirror to see his home in flames.
        About a week later, at William's house, The very same wolf showed up, looking to collect the money from the next brother in the line, The wolf once again shouted through the door demanding to be let in, and William, like his brother Jacob, informed the wolf that he also did not have the money, The wolf told William that he had planted explosives all around the house and if he was not let in, then he would set them off and destroy the house. Knowing the nature of the wolf, William and Jacob wasted no time getting to the secret exit, they got out just in time to miss the explosion. They immediately headed to the abode of their oldest brother Damon.
        A few days latter, The wolf showed up at Damon's house, once again demanding the money. Damon, showing absolutely no respect and utter defiance for the wolf actually spat in the general direction of the wolf. The wolf gave his final warning, the money, or there would be grave consequences, upon hearing the response of the pig which I shall not repeat here, the wolf left quite infuriated. He came back the next day with the entire big bad wolf maffia, their goal was to get into the fortress and dispatch of the three brothers..........Well, remember what I told you about Damon, how he is a bit paranoid and just a little weird, well, as it turns out he has spent the last few years building an Underground Survivalist Civilian Militia and an entire community in his abandoned missile silo. When the wolf mafia came, they were ready for them. The battle only lasted for a couple of hours, the militia only suffered light injuries. As for the wolf mafia, well, by the time the battle was over there was nothing left of them.
        In a few months William and Jacob both got their insurance money and they rebuilt their homes better than ever, Damon went on to become one of the most powerful cult leaders in the united states. And the all lived quite contently from that day forward.

                                             The End