"God grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know
the difference."

Welcome to my haven!
The words in the above "Serenity Prayer" are those of hope and encouragement to the abused ~ both victims and survivors.   These words are the foundation of courage and wisdom in the changing of circumstances.   You cannot change your abuser, but you can change yourself....Beginning with courage and peace,....and the wisdom in accepting what you can't change, courage to change what you can and knowing when the time is right.

As a survivor of abuse, I decided I wanted to share with others that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.   To share the cycles, myths and stories of abuse, giving those hope through my poetry, and have somewhere people can learn and be encouraged.   I wanted to be able to offer some encouragement and hope to those who still suffer the storms of abuse, for you ARE all survivors ~ you have come this far already....and insight to those who don't understand what it is like to live in this lonely world.

I invite you to journey through my site and see this world through the eyes of a survivor....and be encouraged!   And if I can reach one woman, one child, one victim through my words and my site, then I have achieved what I set out to do when I began.

Please use the table of contents below for easy navigation throughout this site.   You will find information on the types of abuse, the symptoms, the cycle of abuse and why it is not easy for victims to leave, myths about abuse, 12 signs of the abuser and many links.   I have also included what love is and what it isn't and poetry written by myself and other survivors.   Also included is my own story of abuse.

If you would like to link to my site, please feel free to use one of my banners
Feel free to use one of my banners to link back to my site....

I have given my site a little make-over, and have created a SITE MAP page, where you will find the complete index to my site, to help make it easier to navigate my site.
To my Site Map!

Help Speak Out Against Abuse!

~ A Note to Visitors ~

I have recently changed the title of my site from "Victims by Chance....Survivors by Choice!"   I wanted to focus more on us as survivors, rather than victims.   No matter who we are or what situation we are living in, we are survivors, for we come this far already....and we can take further steps in our survival.

The title of my site is quite apt:....
"Survivors by Choice ~ A Safe Haven from Abuse".   Though we have fallen victim to the horrors of abuse, we are still survivors ~ we are those who have risen above our circimstances ~ no matter what they are ~ and we ARE survivors!

I have chosen a new image for my site, and set out to "revamp" the pages, which I have recently completed.   The former image, being of a woman huddled in sadness which reflected the pain of being a victim, has been removed, though it still features aptly on some of my poetry.   I replaced it with a more calming image ~ one that reflected peace, harmony and serenity.   I wanted this site to be a safe haven for anyone who has, or still is, suffering from the storms of abuse.   The graphic that now features on every index page within my site, is a peaceful, tranquil reflection of our inner strength as survivors.   It gives us a calm that we need to feel, and a peace that we need to know.   The waterfall is symbolic of the refreshing renewal that we seek.
We are all survivors, no matter what situation we come from or are living in right now.   We need to remember that we have the strength, we have the courage, and we have the wisdom ~ we only need to find it!   Take heed of the Serenity Prayer (above) ~ it gives us the wisdom we seek to help change our situations.   To help change our lives.   We are "Survivors by Choice" because that is who we choose to be!

You will see various ribbons for campaigns against violence and abuse on some poems.   There is a green ribbon for child sexual abuse as well as blue/pink ribbon against violence on children.   There is also a light green ribbon for rape survivors and the purple/black ribbon for domestic abuse.

**I have written many poems on abuse and share them with you here in my "Poetry of Abuse" pages ~ some are from my own experiences, and others are just written through insight.   Also featured are poems from other survivors as well.

Enjoy your journey....

Child Sexual Abuse Ribbon
Stop Child Abuse Abuse Ribbon
Stop Rape Ribbon
Domestic Violence Ribbon

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PLEASE NOTE:
I do not claim to be an expert, nor am I a psychologist or
social worker - I am a survivor, and I know what it was
to be a victim.