First thing I would like to mention is that I'm German, so please don't start wondering about how I speak English. It's not that good, but I'm at least trying to make people understand me :) Lucky as I am I understand almost everything in English. I'm BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I don't want to be seen as a victim anymore. What I don't need and want is pity, I want respect.

I'm a survivor of early childhood abuse and abuse as well as rapes later in life. In March this year I finally began to accept my past, my life and the struggles of a life as a survivor. I started therapy last winter. I'm still in the very beginning of the process of recovery. But I already made progress, like stopping self injury and suicide thoughts/actions/threats.

Right now I'm working on being able to be around people  and to have arguements/discussions without starting dissociating. It's even working, I'm actually able to listen to conversations and arguements, even tell people about my opinion.

What I would want to work on is what happened in my past. Well, not really working on it, but talking about it. Didn't have had a chance yet, but will hopefully get it soon. Right now I'm working on my past a lot without a therapist by writing poems. This helps me so very much on my way to Recovery.

This is one of my poems I wrote a couple of years ago for a friend. It's one of my favourite's, too. :)



"A Person"

Someone smiled at me,
strenghtened me,
listened to me,
conferred with me,
had time for me,
put trust in me,
gave a hand to me,
believed in me
Someone proved to be

A Person.





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