To Kait's Square

When my memories started coming back as flashbacks 12 years ago they were incapacitating.  I had headaches so bad I couldn't see, stomach pains so bad I couldn't stand, and finally I quit eating and lost 50 in 3 months.  And I cried the whole time. ANd I chain smoked, and stayed awake all night.  And this was with a therapist to help me.  I started looking for support groups and found a few. But more importantly I found some friends who have stood by me these whole 12 years.

Most days I was so depressed the whole world seemed dark as night. But the one thing that could always bring a smile to my face was a butterfly.  So you can imagine my joy when I was surfing the web and came across "Butterfly Medicine". It tells the story of a butterfly struggling to escape from its cocoon.  A man standing nearby and watching the butterfly struggle goes and helps the butterfly.  But his help has crippled her not helped her as he wanted to do.  This story made me realize that only I can walk the trail of my recovery, and only I can accomplish this metamorphosis that I am working towards. 

Yes, I have my friends to listen to me when I am in pain but I have to do the actual work by myself.  Shortly after finding "Butterfly Medicine" I found the online Magazine called "Butterflies".  It is a magazine for survivors of incest, and believe it or not they also have a version of the emerging butterfly story.  I am so grateful to these 2 web sites. They have given me more than mere words can describe.  I will be forever grateful to them both.
 

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