Ex-Fundamentalists

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Are you trying!
To walk away!
From your belief's?
You do not have to -
Feel guilty!

This site is not meant to
Destroy Your belief in God
"If your are happy with your god"!
It is more to do with the:-
"Fundamentalist way of preaching".

I do not now believe in the
"Fundamentalists God".
I leave my mind open to
"All possibilities"
After all,
No-one has came back
To tell us
"The Truth"

Have They??

Bogus Beyond Belief!

Biblical Inconsistances Links

Just a little background about me, first!
My name is Susan, I live in Glasgow Scotland.
I am a 49 year old Mum of 3 beautiful children.
My kids are all grown up now and I have 3
adorable grandchildren
(Link here to travel to Scotland)

1976

This is where my nightmare began!

When I was 17 years old, I was relatively care free and didn't think much
about God. I was dating my then boyfriend, since I was 16. I used to
go to visit my older sister often who was into 'contacting the spirits'?
It was just a bit of fun...or so I thought! Strange things did happen,
but I never took it seriously. At that time there was, a group of
Born Again Christians in the area where I lived. I'd never heard
anything about them before, although I knew them as old neighbours.
I didn't know that they were part of the group until one day I was
approached by one of them.

This is the City
where I live.
Glasgow

My answer now is,
"Get Un-Born Again"
I have now seen for myself
that there are
"Too many contradictions"
in "The Bible".
Fundamentalists
believe that this is
"God's Word"?
"Get real Fundy's"
Were you there?
When these "men of God"
were recieving the scriptures?
Fundamentalists
believe that
"every word is true"?
You know
It is not true
most of it is man made
dictatorship.
So therefore, if you
"doubt one word"
of the bible.
Then you must
"QUESTION THE REST"!!!!

The next 2 links below
are links to
Scotland & Glasgow
If you are bored with the rest!

Click any caption,
or vertical line to links

These are
interesting links

I was asked, "what I thought of God?" Etc. To which I replied, "I didn't
know but told them that I was contacting the spirit world". Well!...
Shock, horror! I was told that it was very dangerous and that I was really
contacting 'Satan' himself and that I was being deluded into thinking
that it was one of my family. They told me I'd better stay clear of all
that stuff. They invited me to one of their house meetings. I admit, what
they said did frighten me, but, did I believe in God??
I thought about it and went along anyway I just thought it was going to be
your everyday kind of church, singing hymns and reading phrases out of
the bible... 'God loves you' and all that!

Well! Oh yes, I was told "God loves me"... and the rest!
I'd never heard the bible preached like that before! It scared the living
daylights out of me. I thought I was going to die that night and go to
(The Furnace of Fire for ever, there men will weep and gnash their
teeth: Matt 13;42) (For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads
to life and those who find it are few: Matt 7;14)!
So that started... my sleepless nights... stress and tension and my strive
for perfection! (Which I could never achieve). I was now aware that
God was watching me! "I was evil and wicked", even tho' "I thought",
I was a nice person. I was kind and caring, I respected my parents..
But, "I was born a sinner" even if I hadn't committed any crime/sin,
"I/we were all in Adam when he sinned".

"Other people were dangerous influences" (If the world hates you,
know that it has hated me before it hated you: John 15;18)
"Satan was working on me... I had to get right with God"?
"Time was running out".. The Lord could come back at any time
and I was not ready"! (Therefore you also must be ready, for
the son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect: Matt 24;44).

Now I had to think every moment of the day...
Think... Think... Think... and Think again! The "FEAR,
NIGHT SWEATS, STRESS AND ANXIETY... were too much
to bare! I wanted God to "Save me", I needed God to "Save me".
I tried and tried and tried. I told God I would give up my old life
for him... I would love him more than my family.. I would stop
sinning (if I could)! I prayed every moment of the day...
until I could pray no more. Tired and exhausted and terrified...
I would eventually fall asleep, not knowing if I would wake up
again? This went on for the next 25 years.. I can barely believe
it myself! I don't know how I got through life... but I do really...
FEAR!

Just before that time I had just started to sleep with my then
boyfriend! He was the first man I'd slept with... So then I
thought now I would have to marry him because I couldn't
have any other sexual relations with any other man... in God's
eyes that would be adultery... (Don't get me wrong, I did love
my then boyfriend, who later became my husband) but I
thought I had no other option. We stayed married for 20 years
and 10 years ago separated. I was told if I got "Saved" I'd then
be a "Christian". Also if my husband rejected the gospel, then
I would have to consider leaving him because:-
"Christian vs Non Christian" marriage's won't work! Eh! So
I thought 'no matter what I had to stay with him and/or never
be with another man again! Now at that time I wasn't thinking
anything of the kind anyway, but it left me no choice!

No matter how hard I tried, I could never "Feel Saved", I was told to
"stop trying and just do it", I "would know when I was saved"
because God gives 'assurance of salvation'. (He has put his seal
upon us and given us his spirit in our hearts as a Guarantee:
Corinth 1:22). I never knew... I never felt saved! And also If I didn't
get "Saved Right Now" God might give up on me and leave me to my
worldly sins! And harden my heart to the Gospel!..
(This people honours me with their lips, but their heart is far from me,
in vain do they worship me: Mark 7;6). What! Eh! Help!...
Now I was in deep trouble... I had no way out... but to be "Saved"!
(He who believes and is baptized will be saved, he who does not believe
will be condemned: Mark 16;16. I thought! I was, thinking, doing, being,
what God asked! But still never felt "Saved".
(Why do you call me 'lord, lord' and do not do what I tell you?:
Luke 6;46).

This might give you an idea of what were the beginings and continued
fears about my life. Through all this I managed to raise a family
(I think that is what kept me sane or at least functional)!
It was hard tho' because I had to inflict my views on my children but
not wishing to terrify them the way I had been, but could not lie to them
about the facts... It was very hard... I was also made to feel accountable
for my family and friends in telling them about the "truth",
(Even tho' I was not a "Christian" (saved) myself, I still had to preach).
They, (my family and friends) were not interested! Which made me feel
scared for them and Isolated. I had friends but could not really share my
biggest fears with them, because they didn't understand. My friends were/are
lovely people, who are kind, caring, good people. "Just not Christian"....
Everything outside 'their' Born Again Beliefs... "Was not of God or was evil"...
Even the church going people that I knew very well! (Beware of false
prophets: Matt 7;15), (Many will come in my name saying -
"I am he and they will lead many astray": Mark 13;6).

During this time, I developed a multitude of phobia's...
I could not travel very well... "planes, trains, cars, boats", because I
thought I am only putting my life at risk! And I still wasn't saved yet,
Knowing that God had the power to take my life... Just like that!
Made me afraid of everything.
I was still scared to travel, became paranoid.
Walking down the street was dangerous,
I thought that the next car/bus was going to ram right
into me. And any ailment I had, I thought it might be fatal. I was a wreck!

Life took it's toll on me and 25 years later, I ended up separated
from my Husband and 10 years ago ended up in a psychiatric
unit with depression for 2 months of my life. That's when I
started to "Question God"! Which terrified me, because
("Who are we to Question God")? I felt suicidal, felt trapped,
because if I died... I would go to... "The Deepest Part of Hell"
Because I knew enough to be "saved" and rejected it.
It felt like Hell that I was living...
There was no-way out... I was trapped! I had a breakdown!

Meanwhile as I tried to cope with everyday things e.g. Family, work,
my failing marriage, my health. I started to lose weight and went
down to 7 stone (98lb's). Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep couldn't function
anymore. Lost interest in everything. My mind had been racing for years
and suddenly 'stopped'!

Now! 10 years down the line, I have improved dramatically,
I'm still on anti-depressants, but coping very well.
A lot has happened in the eight years since deciding that
"I didn't want/need God in my life."
It, by no means has been easy. I see a councillor
regularly, I still have issues about "My Beliefs"? It is hard to get rid of
almost 30 years of indoctrination overnight!
I just try to trust in my intuition.
Now and I am widening my knowledge by reading lots of books.
One in particular book that is helping me tremendously is:-

Here are a few of quotes that I try to keep
reminding myself of:-

"The Past and The Future
Are Only in Our Minds!"

"Be Here Now!"

"Born OK The First Time"

Quotation:
"...if you believe in it, it is a religion or
perhaps "the" religion;
and if you do not care one way or
another about it, it is a sect;
but if you fear and
hate it, it is a cult."
Leo Pfeffer.

"Fundamentalism Stops A Person Thinking".

"My Job is to Comfort the Disturbed &
Disturb the Comfortable".

"My Karma Ran Over MY Dogma".

"We Are Not Human Beings Having
"A Spiritual Experience".
We Are Spiritual Beings Having
"A Human Experience"!

Now I live alone, and I'm
"very happy"
in a relationship with
my partner who is also an
Ex-Fundy.
We support each other and are
angry that Fundamentalisim nearly
destroyed our lives.
But the good news is that
'you can recover'!
I'm doing it...
There is a life out there...
So go and live it and Enjoy!..
You don't have to feel guilty at all!..
We are good people, who care!..
And that's all that matter's.

"Leaving The Fold"
by Marlene Winell.
(Highly Recommended)

"The Book Your Church Doesn't
Want You To Read"
by T C Leedom

"Everyday Enlightenment"
by Dan Millman
Well worth a read!

Updated 24/Nov/08

My Destructive
Indoctrination!
This is my Depression

Attitude
Our lives are not determined by what
happens to us, but how we react to
what happens; not by what life brings
us, but by the attitudes we bring to life.

The best way to predict the future is to
create it.

Live Every Day
Dance as if no one were watching,
Sing as if no one were listening,
And live every day as if it were your last

New Beginnings
In life what sometimes appears to be
the end Is really a new beginning

Priorities
Teach children to choose the right path
and when they are older they will remain
upon it.

Real Success
The measure of real success is one
you cannot spend�
It�s the way your child describes you
when talking to a friend.

Success
Success is a journey,
not a destination.

Quote from "The Book"
Interesting!

Happiness comes through
doors you didn't even
know you left open.

ExChristian.net Forums
Encouraging ExChristians

A Jerry Falwell
parody
website

Internet
Parodies

This is
Funny
and so
TRUE

I did keep busy in my life, by getting involved with community projects.
Even though in my mind I could think of nothing else but being saved.
So in a way it was a slight distraction for me especially to the people
outside my world, because thats how it felt. (Like I was on another planet).
Hardly anyone I knew was in the same position as me.
So I felt very isolated.
It was a good cover up and got me through life in general,
But there would always be...
'Every day and every night' the fear chipping
away at me inside. ("You are not saved". "You are going to hell").
How could I share my thoughts with my friends and family of my true fears!
They would think I was mad!
When I did talk about it or try to convert other people.
I would only get myself into a worse state of fear because I was
reiterating what I needed myself. I would start to tremble...
Genuinely shake with fear.
I did have good times when I would laugh and have fun and
I enjoyed raising my children.
But guaranteed,
I was never free from my thoughts of...
"Hell and Damnation".
A bit like "Groundhog Day" for 30 years.

Beliefs
About
Salvation

TIM BOOTH -
FAITH AND MUSIC
TRANSCRIPT

Tim Booth -
British Band "James"
Lead singer
Song title
"God Only Knows"

Click
The Bible passages
on the left
highlighted
in red
which
are linked to
"The
Skeptic's
Annotated
Bible"

Cult FAQ

Updated 24/Nov/08

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