supervic | superjen |
supersar | superkate
By now you've probably realised that popularity like ours doesn't come easy. Sure, it's partly due to our radiant beauty, cunning wit, stunning intellect and, lets face it, natural
talent but to be popular, and by popular we mean super popular, you have to stick to a few easy steps!
Introducing the 13 step supergrrl guide to popularity. Just by following these 13 easy steps, you will become top of your class, the envy of your friends and, well, just like us!
Things that WILL get you popular:
* Purchasing an "It's Okay, I'm With The Band!" t-shirt... Kids, this is the latest rage. Of course, it isn't an overexposed rage, like say, red caps worn backwards, but it is funky enough to stand out and still be original. A bonus is that the shirt gives the illusion of rock star fame! Trust us, more than one supergrrl has this shirt in her possession and they are all supercool. Coincidence? I think not.
* So. You've got a minor obsession with an internet celebrity. You hover over their webcam 24 hours a day in the vain hope that you might catch a glimpse of their gorgeous, pale, nerdy face. You write them emails asking desperately simple questions like "Is your name really Dakota?!", and you make sure to keep within an easy distance of your email in case they happen to find the time to answer you. And then, finally, after weeks and weeks of wonder and wishing, they reply! What do you do? How do you approach the situation so that you don't seem too eager, but at the same time manage to impress? Well, click right out of that inbox, baby, because you don't ever call back/reply to emails straight away. Wait a while, don't jump straight in with the first silly thought that pops into your head. Do NOT, under any circumstances, write a song about your hopeless obsession and then give your friend permission to send it to the obsession in question! And most importantly, remember to hold your ground, control yourself and appear superior!
* Your textbooks are spread out on the ground, your stomach is grumbling, the clock says that your essay is due in 4 hours and you haven't even picked out a font yet! Well, prevention is always better than cure and if you're as super as we think you are, you'll have everything in control. If not, write down these notes, it's never too late to gain some wisdom! Always be nice to lecturers, even if they are the most arrogant, evil, smelly three-eyed dwarfs that make you cringe; in the end, they have the final say on your grades! Be friendly, complement them wherever possible ("Oh, I love your handwriting! It make's an 'F' look so fancy!"), make them feel as though they are on a your level and that you accept them. When the time comes where you need an extension at the last minute, you'll be thanking your SuperMentors! One quick word with your best friend the lecturer and they'll remember what a fantastic young person you are! 'An exension? No trouble at all! One week or two?' If you run into trouble, wink at them, turn up that sly smile and purr like a kitten… it's absolutely necessary in extreme cases and will get you easy marks if done properly! Or you could just try and get your essays done in time, but you know, things are never that simple…
* "But what about socialising?", I here you cry, "How will I ever become the lusted after heart-throb, the centre of everybody's universe, the striking seductress admired by all?" We, the supergrrls, are willing to share some secrets with you, the reader. First impressions count! Look good, and if you don't know what looking good requires, visit some of our favourite fashion sites:
or just go visit the super nadia for some top fashion
tips. If you're still lost, hire a professional - there is no such thing as wasting money when you're putting it towards a worthy cause! Find the right balance between too many appearances and not enough appearances. Make yourself look important, but not too important so that you look like a snob… a vital factor in popularity is choosing your own playground! If you're trying to avoid being seen by anyone who knows you as your nerdy self, only go to a party where people don't know you… that way you can be what you want to be, super! If you're underage and want to go clubbing: become buddies with the bouncer, it'll get you into the most happening clubs. Smile, offer him a chupa chup and batter those eyelashes! Works every time! But guys, be careful which bouncer you hit on, some of them are a little uptight about eyelash fluttering. Oh and, see that honey in the hot outfit, cute smile and sexy laugh, standing by the bar? Go and talk to him/her! You'll get bonus points for bravery and you'll have the upper hand! Rejection is not a fear of SuperPeople! In fact, the supergrrls recommend you adopt a NO FEAR attitude, take whatever opportunity comes your way, and enjoy the moment!
Things that WONT get you popular:
* Now that we know how to steal the heart of an internet rockstar, here's a tip for how to lose it! Hate email! That's right, overreact, lose your cool, become frustrated with your lack of attention, and type the hell out of that keyboard! It gets you nowhere, not unless you count the 'blocked sender' list as somewhere special. We recommend not using this method to release your frustration. Opt for a less risky way, like breaking your mother's favourite dinnerware.
* Yes, making the first move can be tricky, is always nerve-racking, and definitely requires some unique use of skill and sometimes, charm. With this in mind, don't ask anyone the time. Ever.
* So, you think you're funny? You boast about being the humorous one in your group of friends, the expert of knock-knock jokes, the master of timing? Chances are you suck at being funny. Please, we beg you, don't make lame jokes! Now, we realize some people have an odd perception of where the line between 'funny' and 'lame' sits. For funnyness, see the following:
world wide jeb, oh
messy life, dakota smith.
* Onto the do not's of parties! Do not go to a party after any embarrassing moments. People are liable to talk about them if its too recent, and once the moment is brought up once, it is destined to become a reoccurring personal joke among friends, relatives, neighbours, the local council, etc. Try not to give out too much information. If you tell too much of a lie (to be cool) people ask more questions. The more you answer, the higher risk you have of contradicting yourself, and soon you'll find you've dug yourself a nice little hole to climb into and hide. Do not go to a party if you're sick! You're bound to create some sort of embarrassing situation. For example, sneezing and getting caught looking at it in your hand!! This sort of excessive gross behaviour will have you banished from society! DO NOT LET YOUR DAD DJ AT A PARTY! (70's parties excluded). Enough said.
* Never over thank people. This makes you look inferior, and you don't want that. You want them to know you are better than them, you're important, you're the BOMB! Well ok, lets not go too far, you're not that great, but try and distribute your thanks evenly! Although, this does not refer to brown-nosing/sucking up/overloving for personal gain. That's fine, especially where rock stars are concerned.
* Don't over hug people. That's just creepy.
* Some other important things to remember, DON'T wear anything you're mother buys you, DON'T wear g-strings under see-through outfits (it's just wrong), DON'T confess your love to anyone unless you're sure they worship you, DON'T limit your experiences to one path, diversity is super.
So there you have
it! Now go and enjoy your new found popularity (while it lasts!)