Application
of Flexible Mind in Life – Living by Zen/Vipassana
Thoughts
– finding the course – be prepared like a worrier for the attack
Typical
Kundalini Symptoms and a case of Hakuin on Zen Disease (Zen byo)
Zen,
Koan Practice and Vipassana
Review
of Vipassana meditation: Jan. ’03 – July ’03
After my third vipassana retreat in Jan. 2,003, the main aim is on the
practice of liberation/insight through zen-vipassana-art
of living. Live in mystery – as
improvisation of sitar unfolds, as tribe men’s dance and singing unfold, yet to
find the connection of conscious and unconscious, or mind, body, and heart.
Here is what I see the state
of no mind, (when my heart is connected so to speak):
-
When one is aware
of his breath/sensation (he is free/detached
and is awakened/open to receive what the nature, including unconscious, is to
offer)
-
When the Source
tells what to think (let the mind flow freely without abiding anywhere)
-
When there is
nothing to be sought after (if you seek for it, you
will not find it) – this is liberation. (if you do not seek
for it, yet have Shila-Samadhi with problem consciousness,
you will have insight toward the current concern.)
-
When one realizes
his sensation throughout the body. (no
blockage/ centers everywhere/ all cells activated. This is Jizai/Zenki;
healing-self-organizing state.)
-
When
one experiences/realizes dharmakaya, the unity of
Buddha with everything existing. (This may be called
as absolute Samadhi. Here and now, no-self, or being one with the universe, i.e., not two.)
-
When one “relates”
to trees, cats, flowers, clouds, etc. (all movement) everywhere - in and out
(no barrier/oneness, also no good / bad). “Relate,” since we are from one, have Buddha
nature, therefore, something to relate as opposed to being blocked or distant
from. (master will know, or relate to the
other’s act without talking, e.g., Buddha’s twirling a flower)
-
When one is aware
of what is going on (e.g., notice the nature’s wonder, and relate to others –
even the villain’s act. Again, one can
relate since we have something in common, i.e., law of nature, our “construct.”)
-
When one’s mind
is calm and peaceful (no agitation, no reaction, no negative mind habit, be
aware but not dormant, i.e., not unconsciousness). This is; “conscious of unconscious” (experience
events as if a line drawn on the water - detached)
-
When one is
equanimous to all stimuli (flexible mind) (can relate
and understand/have insight, but not attached.
Attached in one sense (conscious-relative). Yet, not attached (unconscious-absolute))
-
When one is with
eternity/unknown as in absolute Samadhi (the other shore, the garden of Eden, unconscious,
God, creative force)
-
When one is aware
of inattention to get back to attention (to realize delusion is enlightenment,
line drawn on the water as opposed to line chiseled on the rock) (more we are
to do this, we may find certain patterns (pitfalls). Especially,
the pattern related to the self. Yet,
such understanding may cause rigidity, even leading to fight/dispute among “religious”
people – similar to “guru trap,” which is a bind by itself)
-
When one acts
freely as one pleases (ordinary mind is tao; do as we wish and not go beyond the boundary. Do not blindly run away or react to the threat. Do not develop cringing. If we do, “notice” that we do. Instead of falling into the pitfall
(unawareness), observe and come up with insight by being aware and equanimous.)
-
The way is known as insight from the heart /unconscious. Realize “our” life’s mission, what resource/talent
to use, which direction to go, how to act and think, when as well as when not
to react, when to die…peacefully, etc. (one may be able to predict the future
to a degree – by being aware of the symptom.
Insight is like predicting the future, or to realize
the nature’s way of events happening.)
-
As if masters
employ their talent without efforts, therefore, things happen as the nature’s
way. (There was, however, effort in the
past, represented as karma, which include accumulated resources/memories/programs,
which in turn can bring insight and/or skillful means (upaya)
of handling the situation.)
-
When one does
things when the breathing is irregular, then, his awareness / composure is not
there, a part of the mind is asleep, the antenna is not retrieving the information
from outside in the balanced manner and connecting them with the potential
inside. In such state, our act is like a
reactionary(mechanical) act coming from sankhara
(conditioned mind habit). Perhaps, it is
limited, haphazard, careless, selfish, not wholesome, etc. If so, there may be no room to generate greater
wisdom – the optimal path of the nature/ wholesome act /H-max.
-
Do things (walk,
act, sit, sleep) while paying attention to breathing/all sensation – connected
to the grounded state.
This is connection (opening the channel) to the infinite (it is like a
very large heat sink). At the same time,
it is here and now. There is immediate
connection to all interrelationships of universe – Jp.
Kegon. (This
state may be called as dharmakaya – Jp. Hosshin or “law-body”.)
-
At all possible
and without effort, pay attention so that the breathing is not disturbed. (This is the condition – connecting point of
conscious and unconscious - to have insight (nature’s act) to come out) This may be like developing a belly/heart
that cleanses our heavily congested brain by the nature’s way. In the short term, it may be like having a
well-tuned antenna that immediately “earths” the rise of sankhara, e.g.,
aversion and clinging. In the long term,
we are to eradicate deep-rooted errors through such means as vipassana/zazen – quiet observation with equanimity (no
resistance). (As a part of insight,
“physical” changes may take place, e.g., face, eyes, body, belly, diaphragm,
muscle tone, etc.)
-
I may focus on the
clean-up (eradication of deep rooted bad mind-body
programming) inside as evidenced by the free flow even if it is still incomplete. The other front is as if to discharge the
stimulation from outside to a large heat sink/belly. (In Zen expression, this corresponds to practice
in daily life (Jp. Dochu-no-kufu)
as opposed to the careful examination in the controlled setting (Jp. Seichu–no-kufu).
-
The above
description points out the working of our mind-matter relationship. When established in the skill, I may feel the
free flow (there is a difference in degree, however) in the controlled
condition. Or, in
daily life, I can pass the trouble/misery causing stimuli as if it is a spring
breeze! So, in
addition to the sensation as in the case of bodily feeling, I may extend the
antenna toward outside (e.g., eyes) while feeling the heat sink at my belly. Until well established in this skill (although,
never will), I need to pay attention and take time in learning this process over and over. (It is
like learning to walk when I was little.
Here, I like the expression of Dogen: Shusho-ichinyo, or practice and awakening being one)
-
The one who is
insightful can read many messages coming from anywhere (through his body as
well) and respond appropriately. He can
use his brain well to plan or analyze things.
And, whatever the stimuli/message is, he can be
composed. (awakened and liberated) The fact that one can be equanimous is by
itself a representation of insight.
-
Shila-samadhi-prajna is to be practiced as a
concurrent/spontaneous state.
-
I will let my
mind flow freely without abiding anywhere.
-
I will do the
task that needs to be done. Whatever I do, however, I will be attentive
to not lose the center/grounded state by maintaining the awareness on breathing
and sensation.
-
There is no
“should be.” Rather, “is” or “being here
and now” (condition) will bring what is to be.
-
In terms of my
life’s mission, as it is unclear now (will it ever be clear?), I will see if it
becomes clear to me. The condition
(Samadhi) brings out the insight. I
simply am to be in that state. (This is
a main point of clarifying the mission and finding the steps forward.)
-
In terms of my
daily activities, e.g., gardening, reading, tax, go game, etc., I will do these
while I keep awareness on breathing and sensation.
-
As any new stimulus
comes, I will process them accordingly from the center.
-
Notice whenever
the mind start to play its own game – reacting from sankhara. Notice the bodily reaction, observe what is
going on, let it resolve, come back to the center. Continue the process. Also, check if the law of multiplication is
prevailing before regaining the center.
-
The point it to
have the center at all times. As Buddha
said, I (my heart) am the master. I am to
make my own future. (Let my life unfold
as water runs smoothly.)
-
Be aware and
remain equanimous.
-
Insight, i.e., experiential
wisdom, will follow.
-
May all beings be
happy.
* Having written this note, and listening to the
bird’s singing in the quiet rain outside, I see the reason why I am attracted
to live like a tribe man in the recent days. Well, Einstean
said, religion without science is lame; science without religion is
meaningless. It is experiential insight
coming up from “that” condition - that is what we need. Of course, we cannot separate these two. So, be a tribe man, with the brain that is
well connected and be able to find the fault in it. In other words, use it from the heart as it is meant. (2/13/03)
Update at 11:00 A.M. (See
blocked and underlined parts):
-
I will let my
mind flow freely without abiding anywhere.
(How interesting! Care free…not too serious)
-
I will do the
task that needs to be done. Whatever I do, however, I will be attentive
to not lose the center/grounded state by maintaining the awareness on breathing
and sensation. (Connect
the brain and heart, concept and intuition.
Be aware of side tracking. Have a
cup of tea. Do some exercise as appropriate.)
-
There is no
“should be.” Rather, “is” or “being here
and now” (condition) will bring what is to be.
(When I am
occupied in the task, can I maintain this “is-ness” – and be open to the
stimuli around - as opposed to be at “should-be-ness”? Wherever I am, it is this isness I should learn to be at.)
-
In terms of my
life’s mission, as it is unclear now (will it ever be clear?), I will see if it
becomes clear to me. There is condition
that brings out the insight. I simply am
to be in that state. (This is a main
point of clarifying the mission and finding the steps forward.)
-
In terms of my
daily activities, e.g., gardening, reading, tax, go game, etc., I will do these
while I keep awareness on breathing and sensation. (Tax: Not that simple! But
can be done. Am I productive/focused? – Perhaps. Although
I sense my reactive mind playing here and there, I do not feel any burden.)
-
As any new
stimulus comes, I will process them accordingly from the center. (Just inner play of my
mind. “Stop and see” seem to help. But, boy, I am so
full of various mind habits – although I can relate to the days when I was
child and full of curiosity.)
-
Notice whenever
the mind start to play its own game – reacting from sankhara. Notice the bodily reaction, observe what is
going on, let it resolve, come back to the center. Continue the process. Also, check if the law of multiplication is
prevailing before regaining the center. (So far, manageable. But my mind may get off the course when I am least
expected. This is like the opposite of
insight – there is reactionary mind. May
be it is like a tag of war.)
-
The point it to
have the center at all times. As Buddha
said, I (my heart) am the master. I am
to make my own future. (Let my life
unfold as water runs smoothly.)
-
Be aware and
remain equanimous.
-
Insight, i.e.,
experiential wisdom, will follow.
-
May all beings be
happy.
As I proceed in updating my
mind-body state, I feel that the process is similar to doing a housekeeping of my mind. When focused, I am fully engaged in the
task. Otherwise, I am open to let my
antenna/awareness spreading out – to find the balance/state for insight to
come, and to move on to the next step. (If
my antenna is spread out, it may bring the stimuli
that may cause sankhara to play a role.)
Here, I remember the words of Hui Neng(Eno, Jp.), i.e., let the dust
fall – as opposed to clean up the mirror.
(Although letting the dust to fall… means immediately corresponding to
cleaning up.)
There is no Bodhi-tree,
Nor stand of a mirror bright.
The mirror is originally clean and pure;
Where can it be stained by dust?
As opposed to:
Our body is the Bodhi-tree,
And our mind a mirror bright.
Carefully we wipe them hour by hour,
And let no dust alight.
"The development of science and of the creative activities of the
spirit . . . requires . . . inward freedom."
- Albert Einstein
Tao Te Ching
starts with the following sentences:
The tao
that can be told is not the eternal tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
I notice that this is what
may be called as “prajna’s immediate denial logic” That is: A is not A, yet it is A. Following this structure, the above quotes are read as: “Tao is not tao but
it is Tao. The name is not name but it is Name.”
Here, the last words, Tao or Name, represent the eternal/absolute
state/truth as it were.
We may use words, such as tao, Zen, or naming something to point at something of
absolute that is not constructed in our conscious brain but
awakened by the true meaning with direct experience. When experience is experiencing itself, it is
when Tao, Zen, and the Life is “truly” expressed. This is when Kierkegaard calls “Truth is
subjectivity,” or Krishnamurti call it, “We are the world(universe)”
– so I take.
Another important angle that
is of interest is, knowing the difference between tao
and Tao, or name and Name, etc. is living in the conflict/paradox -without
losing the position of mastery or grounded state*. In Zen expression, one example that
represents this point is, “The shadow of bamboo leaves move without stirring up
the dust in the hallway.” Another
similar expression that Mr. Goenka (vipassana) used was, “One draws line by chiseling the
stone, representing the state of us being caught up to the past sankhara
(conditioning mind), but as we learn the art of living, it is as if drawing the
line on the water. In such a state,
there is no trace left behind.” (*Kitaro
Nishida calls this “resolution in absolute paradox.”)
There is a state that we
transcend the absolute conflict/paradox.
As expressed in koans and our life’s activity
of what is vs. what should be or could be, with consciousness, human experience
cannot be without this conflict/paradox.
Yet, there are people like Daisetz Suzuki whose life was
referred by others as if it represented the water flowing from the high
to the low. It was a as if there was no
constraint, artificial efforts in him.
Always at ease, he never raised his voice for example as someone close
to him commented. Another example:
Picasso said, art is a form of lie…yet he expressed the inner life energy in
the form of art.
When I hear the songs of
birds or crickets, I find that there is no lie.
Human can get out of truth to look back the truth. This is as if God formed human so that he can
see Himself. In a more emotional way, a
Myokonin uttered:
“Thank you (Amidha Buddha/God) for leaving me
the delusion. For, without it, I cannot
appreciate you.” Or,
Ryokan might have felt something similar when he
said, “Showing front, showing back, the falling autumn leaves.” Also, the ten ox-herding pictures may point
out the long journey of man in search for the truth,
yet, it also represents the short term in-and-out process of human and God
relationship (hopping around the different frames of these pictures as we
live). Is it then not
a paradoxical experience when one realizes the human mind doing the mischief –
a hide and seek, that is?
Then, like anything else, as
if skill is internalized, Master Artist paints the
picture knowing that it is a form of lie and it dies as soon as it is hang on
the wall. Master Taoist writes about
Tao, knowing that tao cannot be
written. A Zen master use words
to tie what is in the human consciousness with what is underneath. As many of these attest, when we are the
world, the specifics are absolute, finites are infinite, words are eternal
words, and paintings are eternal paintings.
Then, that moment is eternity, Zen, the Tao… and all are alive. At the very next
moment, however, they may be only to be lost in the play of the human minds.
It is told that Lao Tsu wrote Tao te
Ching as he was riding off into the desert to die –
sick at heart at the way of man – yet he was persuaded by a gatekeeper in
Northwestern China to write down his teaching for posterity. Daisetz Suzuki kept on writing many books
until his death – driven by his deep compassionate sense. Wherever we see it, there is a desperate or
almost giving one’s life - kind of sense when one produces his life’s work and
lives as it is meant as human. As in the case of Satori, it is as if the
live wire touches the core of our existence as an expression of life.
Now, if such is our nature,
may I then ask to each of us; “Where are you?”
“Who are you?” “What is it that
you express?” and
“So what?”
The sound of wind chime,
Penetrate through my body,
The whole universe resonates!
If I am asked to sing a song, I will most likely decline the
offer. But if I
am asked to fish, I will welcome the opportunity. As indicated from these examples, I believe
that we should do things that we enjoy most provided that
it brings happiness to others. This is
to choose a wholesome act. (How do I
reconcile the unhappiness created for the trout? Yet, any act we choose will affect others so far as we are interconnected with others in this
universe.) If we enjoy our work that
also brings the happiness to others, such way of life is most wonderful. If we find such a situation, it likely that
we utilize the talent we have to the maximum.
This is fulfilling the H-max. path, and enjoy
what we do.
As a seed may
grow to a giant tree depending on the soil it falls onto, we grow as a person
depending on the conditions.
Whether we like it or not, we are born and raised in certain
environment that characterized our personality.
We have also acquired certain talent and likings, which can bring out
the unknown resources within us. This,
then, affect the path we chose. There
are likes and dislikes, and the use of talent and the effect of our action to
others as mentioned above. It is of no
use if we do not have certain talent but forced to do things for some unknown
reasons, including following the values imposed by others.
If we learn good
practice, we certainly like to keep it.
This forms a good mind habit. But, if somehow, unconsciously we developed a habit that is
not good in different perspective yet that was not clear to us, then we are in
the position to fix the problem so that we do not create sufferings in us or to
others. Since we cannot see through all
potential, such learning process should continue if we were to grow and use our
potential. If on the other hand, our aim
is not create suffering in us, then, the approach may be to avoid potential to
create suffering while eradicate errors in us that was not fixed.
If we eradicate
errors and that become the main purpose in life, we will be like a monk living
in the mountain and away from potential stimuli that creates suffering. If on the other
hand, our aim is to explore the potential in us, and see what can be
accomplished in spite of the suffering we may encounter (for the purpose of
H-max), then, this will make us to lead a life that may create happiness (what
kind? Material, temporary, scope, ?)
… In such a life, we are taking a risk of possibly not eradicating the
errors but moving forward to live a life that deemed to be meaningful.
Yet, there may be
a case where a person achieves the eradication to the maximum degree as human,
but still be able to act in this world to contribute for others. (Boddhisattva) Looking like this, it appears that there are various ways to conduct our lives.
- Buddha, monk,
Honda, balanced, bodhisattva,….It is for each of us to
chose the path. As bamboo will not
attempt to live like a pine tree, it is for each to find the path most
suited. With so many variables, the path
may be hard to find. However, this may
be precisely the reason why each of us is to give a best shot as any seed
landed on the land may try to do its best in performing its mission.
As I could detect
subtler and subtler sensation in practicing vipassana
by paying attention, I now realize that my thoughts are like murmur of a
stream, making (mostly) subtle noises coming from sankhara according to
whatever stimuli I get. I can say that
for me to notice these is, in fact, a good sign. Until I practiced vipassana,
I was not aware of
even the gross sensation nor the fact that I was carrying the
burden. Similarly, until I learned to
observe the rise of reactive mind, my thoughts/delusion was going on without my
noticing it or too late.
Now, I notice and
eradicate the error before it gets big, or too
wasteful to dwell upon. There are many
of these to be paid attention. However,
this is the very process I am to take to clear my thoughts (purify my mind). This is like experiencing mini-bhanga (insight) in on-going thought generation process. The process may be gradual as in reducing the
inventory in JIT production (lean production) – chipping off the rock analogy. Each of the discovery, I may smile while
remaining equanimous.
This is like working
on two fronts. One is to eradicate the
errors (sankhara – at the deep level) through vipassana. The other is to eradicate the errors (at the
surface level) by paying attention to inattention. It is as a sailboat to keep correcting the
course to move on and to aim for destination (living life fully is by itself a
process and destination). This process
has to be continued. It is as if I can
adjust the sail almost unconsciously when I acquire the skill and become the
master of my own destiny. If a problem
is experienced, there is no regret. It
is simply to pay attention and to eradicate the error. In the meantime, I will work on cleaning the
sailboat by scanning the whole body through meditation in the morning and in
the evening. (This is like there are
different levels of PDCA, for correcting action, i.e., from short cycle to long
cycle, from shallow level to deep level, from urgent ones to important ones.)
About antenna
When one is
concentrating at the detail, he cannot look at the broader picture. This is a fact. When one is listening to the music, he may
not notice he is scratching his nose.
When one is using his brain, he may not be listening to his heart. To live requires a balancing act. But as a good skier can listen to the music
without trouble while skiing, or
If the knees
hurt, we look after. If our mind hurts,
we need to look after as well. So, awareness is the first.
Then, we need process.
If I can imagine
tallying the problems discovered and addressed throughout the day, it is to be compared to finding the experiences of free flow as we
practice vipassana.
If the life is
full of activities, it may be compared to a roaring
river. The sound of murmur will not be heard.
When we start to notice what is going on as if sensing the subtleties,
we are closer to addressing the errors.
This should help me to face the challenges of life – perhaps as a
martial art, i.e., with effortless effort.
Still, as I am to learn this skill, I see myself more as a samurai
worrier always prepared as enemy can attach me from anywhere, anytime, and most
shrewd means.
In this effort, I
may see that my life is starting to flow like quiet water.
If we are controlled by bad habits, we cannot perform the
task/mission well. This happens in
virtually all things we do in life.
Aversion and craving are most common that drives us to sidetrack as
opposed to us to choose the right path.
If a master see a person with wrong habit, he
will feel compassion. Seeing someone doing
the wrong things over and over is a painful thing to
see. This is like
a mother may find in seeing her child.
No matter how he or she is incapable, she does not lose hope and send
her compassion to guide the child.
Be attentive,
attentive, so the sage says. Otherwise,
our monkey mind will drive our lives crazy.
(So, learn to observe the mind to regain the sanity.) If we can imagine that we are the heart,
having gone through the winding path and finally found the way, would we not
feel compassion to those who are in the lost situation? Heart being so silent, and not being able to
say a word to give a specific instruction, the heart will just observe. If we can listen with patience and open mind,
we can hear the voice. But if we are busy unable to see what we are doing, we can
be easily lost.
Playing a game
such as Go game I occasionally play, I see my bad habit (reactionary ones that
are programmed wrong) ruining the game.
Choosing a move in such a game is similar to thinking things in life. So, our life can be ruined
unless we learn to correct our bad habits.
Shila in Buddhism represent the right
move/principle/conduct. So, our life is like developing the shila
by making mistakes, and being able to practice as situation arises. Since shila is
found in certain condition, it may have to be modified whenever we find a new insight.
Bad posture is an
example (Soto Zen may emphasize this). Or lack of not being able to come up with insight when we
are cornered may be another (Rinzai Zen may focus on
this by Koan studies). Outside of Zen,
we have sports and games that gives us various methods
of playing. Or,
this may be a process control of work process if not a company’s strategy. Thus, applications are everywhere. We are to learn good habits, discipline, etc.
to perform our task/mission well and discard the bad ones. This is to live our life according to the way
of life.
--
If this point is not practiced, we will spend time in doing something that
is wasteful of our life. As Hakuin says, not appreciating and finding the mystery of
life, we search for water and thirst ourselves in the middle of the water. We move our hands to something to eat, watch
TV, distract us from boredom, seek for stimulation, scratch head, sit deeply in
the chair, etc., etc. In this way, the
universe will pass while we are unaware of its mysterious existence. This is why Dogen
says, when you sit (in meditation), you are Buddha – away from lost thoughts.
The question,
still, is for us to meditate (be grounded) while doing life’s chores.
This is a letter responding
to my friend Bruce’s letter about his depression, etc.:
Regarding the depression, I
do not know how I may be able to contribute. Yet, if I may rumble here a
bit, I know that Zen, meditation, or prayer should help. Although
the principle way is the same - so I believe, I am sure that each specific
situation and passage may be, or appear to be, different.
As you may sense now, most
often the problem is in seeking for the solution. In short, if you seek
for it, you will not find it. The one to seek and the solution to be sought are then separated. So,
this is a self-generated problem, consuming our own resources.
This to me is the paradox of dualism and what many religions,
etc. addresses in one way or the other. The core of the
"process" is to develop the skill to be aware of what is going on and
learn the way to be equanimous. In a way, this is as if an idiot is
observing the sunset, or our life experiences for that matter, without the
notion of today, tomorrow, this or that. In other
words, it is the nature's way of healing that we are after as opposed to trying
to heal the wound by ourselves.
Human is
created because of development of our conscious mind. In
unconscious, however, there is no self, this or that. They are as they
are - in the natural/liberated state, without manipulation done by conscious
mind. This is the state of "is-ness." So, letting go,
simply observing without human intervention, and throwing your self into IT
(i.e., death of self) is the step I believe we all need to take as many times
as required. (Dogen said, throw yourself
million times into the “house of Buddha” (i.e., unconscious) to indicate this
point.) Of course, knowing when we are
about to slip off is a keen sensory skill we need to develop.
(diligent practice of meditation may help
here) It is because remedy is easier
then than when we realize the problem state much later.
Then, one case of healing
experienced out of thousands of trial (of letting go) may become one
case in hundreds, and so on. By being diligent, I am sure that we learn
the knack of doing this over time. The road is slippery. But, with sincerity, and open mind, we all can learn the
Way... so I believe.
Re: sadness: I just
remembered a story of Daisetz. When he was very young, he was about to be
drowned in the river. Yet, as he was sinking, he thought if he were to
keep sinking, he should eventually reach to the bottom, then
he could kick the bottom to float up again. So thinking, he stopped
to struggle and found way out of the danger. Another example is about the
frog jumping in. The frog jumps in, and by using the force of going down,
he floats up again. It may be that knowing the bottom by actual
experience is a way to get out of the bottom. When you learn the trick,
there may be a sense of riding a horse or bicycle, i.e., to go with the
flow as opposed to trying to control it.
If “I” can be of any
"help," please let me know.
Rereading the
book by Hirai on Science and Zen (“Zazen no Kagaku”
by Kodansha), I felt like thinking through the distinction between conditioning
and awakening. Here, we may note that
with conditioned mind, we may not be aware that we are unaware. Or, we may not get
out of the caught-up state:
1) In the experiment, Dr. Hirai monitored the
brain waves of Zen monks in meditation (and Mr. Nakayama also noted similar
experiments shown by NHK TV program). One finding is
that during zazen (meditation), any repeated outside
stimulus does not cause the brains to be conditioned (as compared to the
characteristics of the “habitual” brain wave pattern) if he is well established
in zazen. (p.169) In other words, every experience is
experienced afresh as if a newborn baby’s experiences.
2) This state may be compared to such statement
as, “It is like drawing a line on the water as opposed to a line chiseled on
the rock.” (Goenka’s talk
/referring Buddha’s comment) Or many other Zen saying like, “The shadow of bamboo leaves
move, yet, the dust does not get stirred up in the hallway.”, “mirror-mind” or
“detached mind.”
3) An interesting anecdote connected to this is: When a Zen monk was making a remark on Zen in
a discussion where Daisetz Suzuki and several others attended, suddenly one of
the attendants yelled out loud, “Sh*t headed monk, go
to hell!” Witnessing this event, Ms. Okamura
was very much surprised. Yet, more
surprising to her was that, after a little pause, the speaker continued his
remark as if nothing happened. Seeing
that nobody seemed to have affected by this interruption, Ms. Okamura felt that
it was as if the sound was absorbed in the spring wind.
4) These expressions above in 2) and the event
such as in 3) may express/indicate the awakened state. It is also known that after the meditation
retreat, many people feel that, “Everything looks so fresh.” “Feel
energized.” “Happy.” - and so forth. (Yet, “why
and how” we lose that state and go back to the conditioned way of living as
opposed to be living afresh from moment to moment? Here, Zen/Vipassana’s
contribution to address Sankhara: reactionary/conditioned mind, and taking out
this root of delusion may be noted.)
5) When Daisetz Suzuki talked, some mentioned
that he talked as if he chose words confirming that his expression is directly connected to the origin. To me, this appears that he “scanned” his
whole “cells” and “connected” with Unconscious in the meditative state while
fully utilizing the potentials within (Zenkigen). (Whenever master does his work, this state
may be experienced.)
6) Wilbro’s
expression, “Pay attention to inattention.” points to this. It is the same as Dogen,
“To realize delusion is enlightenment.”
Then, there is Bankei’s unborn/Buddha mind
pointing the state in a strikingly simple way (Re: mind that listen to the
sound of crow for example)
To live life afresh
(and be awake), (a) developing the sensory mechanism to detect the state of
“delusion” or “inattention” (i.e., be aware) as well as (b) having a “skill” to
process through issues by being/regaining “the state” of equanimity are required. Although familiarizing ud
with the “patterns” of delusion may be understood through sutras, books, etc.,
ultimate test of whether we may be “Awake” is in one’s subjective experience
through this principle (process) of awareness and equanimity (which awakened
ones may approve).
Reflecting back
my recent days, I realize more “work” to be done to practice the principle in the
short term, i.e., blips of the change in my psychological state and the long
term, i.e., creeping-in kind of state from “likes” and “dislikes” acquired
while I was young as imprint* (Re: Mr. Nakayama – likes and dislikes of
(life)). Short-term ones are somewhat
easier as it is more obvious to notice as compared to long term ones that may
be deep rooted or more complex as in the case of finding the life’s mission,
i.e., to “choose” the course using the brain.
(*Dogen: In spite of our likes and dislikes,
weeds prevail and flowers wane. – Genjo
koan. See translation: http://www.wwzc.org/translations/genjokoan.htm )
Looking at the
space dimension, as Dogen said, “Fish cannot live
outside the water,” and as I noted in my idea of mini-company (universe), “I”
need to know the boundary and live the best where “I” can (i.e., Zenkigen). This
corresponds to the saying of Joshu, “I use time
(brain), while you are used by time (brain).”
So, brain’s work
including, logic, space, time, and conditioning need to be “observed” to be
awake and live the “Life” as it is meant.
We are to “process” the conditioning, karma, logic, likes and dislikes
of (life) to produce the wholesome act – fully utilizing what we have (i.e., Zenkigen). So, be awake! Know thyself – and express thyself according
to the way!!! - Kio (5/18/03)
Having shared the
views on the “critical point” of Awakening and associated state, etc. with
wilbro the other day, I find a phrase of Dogen that
describes the state and the nature of awakening. The following is my translation from Bendo-wa (Talking of the way) of Dogen. Reading of Dogen is
generally very hard even in Japanese.
This is because he talks in Duddha’s words (Butsugo – only ones that has awakening can understand). Therefore, this translation has to be read carefully with that in mind:
“As various Buddhas and Thatagata have
transmitted the miraculous law and realized the awakening, there is the natural
miraculous method that is unsurpassable by none. This, from Buddha to Buddha passed on yet not
mistaken without doubt, is self-realized Samadhi (Jijuzo-samadhi).
This is the standard. ((Awakening experience is the same.)) Liberated in this Samadhi (Yuge),
it is the meditation of just sitting ((Shikan taza)) that is the correct gate. This law, while it is abundantly equipped on
each person, unless one does not practice, it does not become apparent. Also, unless it is realized, it is of no use. ((There is the disconnect between
brain and heart – so to speak.))
When it is
realized, it is abundant and fill up the whole (hand),
when it is spoken, it is endless. All
Buddha’s are living in this state without leaving senses (thoughts) in any
direction, yet, practiced well. Without
appearing in senses, yet, the way expresses all the laws upon realization, and
act in suchness (bring out the potentialities – Bussho). In such state, there is no use to bring the
distinctive/dualistic views. ((So, just
practice…Be.))”
Simpler
the life, task, etc. easier to observe how the mind moves.
This may be a catch-22 as some may argue, if we are to master the mind,
this may be the start. Some points of focus may be: 1) Meditation, 2) Doing the task devoting
oneself. (Samu), 3) Waste
elimination (less inventory of information, knowledge, goods), 4) PDCA
(reflect, analyze, plan, do), 5) Clarifying the mission (know who customers
are, who we are, what skill we have, etc.),
If I focus on
fishing, better focused I gain the life energy, and Samadhi. Similarly, walk, eat, wash, rest, work, etc.
one at a time. This is the foundation. As I did in waste elimination for
manufacturing, I may find awakened period as value added and deluded period as
non-value added. Devote to the mission
without seeking mind. Posture is important as body is a reflection
of mind. Pay
attention to inattention. Similarly,
always focus on breathing – U ba kin.
It may be quite
appropriate to devote energy in washing dishes before I use my brain.
(from:
http://www.kundalini-info.org/engkni_1024.html)
((Note: I studied a little about kundalini
on the net to understand the world of unconscious. I am not familiar with the technique of kundariani. Yet,
this symptom may be of interest especially with regard to practicing the right
technique. According to many reported
incidents, it appears that kundalini can be
dangerous. Perhaps, there may be some
similarities to what is called Zenbyo (Zen desease) some zen
practioner experiences. If so, as reported by Hakuin,
nanso no ho (like the technique of vipassana, posted elsewhere on my site) can be helpful. In any case, here
are some symptoms as studied by the practitioner of kundalini. Those similar to my vaipassana
experience are in the block letters and underlined. – Kio))
* Burning hot or ice cold streams moving up the spine.
* Perhaps a
feeling of air bubbles or snake movement up through the body.
* Pains in
varying locations throughout the body.
*
Titillation of the genital area, spine, or head.
* Tension
or stiffness of neck, and headaches.
* Feeling
of overpreassure within the head.
* Vibrations, unease, or cramps in legs and other parts of the
body.
* Fast pulse and increased metabolism.
* Disturbance in the breathing-
and/or heartfunction.
*
Sensitivity to sound, light, smell, and proximity of other people.
* Orgasm
sensations different places in the body, or total cosmic orgasms.
* Mystical/religious
experiences, revelations, and/or cosmic glimpses.
* Parapsychological
abilities. Light phenomena in or outside the
body.
* Problems with finding
balance between strong sexual urges, and a wish to live in sublime purity.
* Persistent anxiety or
anxiety attacks, due to lack of understanding of what is going on.
* Insomnia, manic high
spirits or deep depression. Energy loss.
* Impaired
concentration and memory.
* Total
isolation due to inability to communicate inner experiences out.
*
Experiences of possession and poltergeist phenomena.
Note! Of
course one can have some of these symptoms without
having a kundalini arousal!
A case of Hamuin on Zen Disease:
Hakuin practiced asceticism too much to be sick, when he was
young. He had some symptoms; the awful cold on his
foots and his hands, buzzing in the ears, the weakness of the liver, the gall
and the lungs, nervous, fatigue, hallucination, eyes suffused with tears any time. Though he took medical treatment, no vain.
Then he heard a rumor of Dr. Hakuyu, who was living
in the mountain (Kyoto, Shirakawa).
So he visited him to learn his secret methods. After
practicing them, he recovered. When he was writing ≪Yasen Kanna≫ , at age
of 70, he said he was full of vitality more than when he was 20 or 30.
(from http://co2.ihas.nagoya-u.ac.jp/locb/member/kaga/kaga1.htm
)
A case of a
person dealing with Huntingson’s disease with
meditation
See: http://www2.gol.com/users/doubtboy/hd.html
- What is word?
To experience
here and now, leave the words alone. Let
“me” experience as if I am a cat or dog, or plant and see what is
happening. This was the setting of my
meditation the other day. (around
5/21/03) Without any words and
experiencing what is going on. “I” found
energy/vibration, nothing else.
- What is thought?
From that
ground/quiet center, the thoughts are seen more as a
movement (time, experience, memory, with some sort of insight) on the display
as seen by God. Dream,
unreal, interpretation of what ism etc.
This is the stance of detachment.
This is the line drawn on the water.
It goes back to the ground/quiet center.
From Living by
Zen (p.148 -150) by Daisetz Suzuki:
“In the study of
Zen, these two tendencies are to be scrupulously guarded against, abstract
conceptualization and absorption in emptiness.
The koan keeps the mind from following either one of these courses, it sets the mind in the middle way, for the truth
of Zen is not in rationalistic abstraction nor in mere quietistic
tranquillization. When left to itself
the human mind is sure to tip either way…, and the Zen masters, in fact all
well-informed and observant Buddhist, have been aware of this inherent defect
in human consciousness. They have
advised us to practice Shamatha along with Vipashyana (Vipassana)
“Shamatha is the cessation of thoughts which disturb the mind, whereas Vipashyana is the
keeping of our intellectual eye open to a world of changes. Shamatha, while aiming at the realization of the oneness of all things
where the Dharmakaya of all the Buddhas
becomes indentified with the body of all sentient
beings, is apt to lead the mind to a state of lethargy and indifference; and to
counterbalance this it is necessary to have the mind stimulated in one way or
another, that is, it is important for Zen students to keep their attention
engaged with subjects belonging to a world of particulars……
“Zen’s world is at
once purposeless and purposeful…”
“The essence of
Zen is Prajna and not Dhyana.”
My third retreat in January was a stabilizer for the
practice of vipassana accompanied by several bhanga experiences. (See separate file at
my home page for the detail.)
Although some people point that sitting meditation may not be very
necessary, I still find the practice indicative to chart the progress. In other words, it helps to know who I am
much deeper – often with surprise. Also, as I know that the Buddha used to meditate a lot, I am
still curious to move ahead with the practice.
There may be no end as to how our insights may develop anyway.
What may be unique in this period may be that I
expanded my investigation of dharma in various fronts, including the ground of
morality, Wittgenstein, Abhidharma, Nagarjuna, and research to various
behavioral aspects of awakening. These
studies are meant to check and balance my journey in
different dimensions. Also,
recently, I started to surf the net in Japan.
I could not do this until now due to the lack of software, but I even
developed a web page in Japanese.
Investigating what is available in Japanese webpages
is interesting as much as meeting new people in their discussion forums.
Recent poems indicate the unique state I developed
through these efforts. (See selected poems file at my
home page). The meditative experience is
enriching my life even though I do not have almost no
external/earthly desire at this point.
Yet, the path into the future is unknown. I am simply let it reveal itself. These days, I am reading Kegon
(avatamsaka sutra) little by little. I will continue various discussions and
investigation on dharma while continuing the practice. What is shown below
is the summary of the time I sat for meditation. On average, I sit about one hour all together
each day in this period.
First Vipassana 10-day course
(Oct-Nov/00)
Nov/00-Oct/01 (no record)……………………………… range 30?-160?: median 70?
Oct/01 (2weeks)……………………………………………range 60-150:median 90
Second
Vipassana 10-day course (Nov-Dec/01)
-
12/30/01 ………………………………………………….range
10-100; median 50?
12/30-1/26/02 ………………………………………………range
60-160 median 100
2/21-4/24
……………………………………………………range 10-100 median 50
4/25-
6/11……………………………………………………range 10-80 median 45
6/12-7/26
……………………………………………………range 10-80 median 30
7/27-9/12*…………………………………………………….range
0-80 median 10*
9/13-10/30*…………………………………………………
range 0-100 median 40*
11/1-12/8/02…………………………………………………range
0-160+ median 50
12/18-2/2/03………………………………………………......range
0-80 median 50
Third
Vipassana 10-day course (Jan/03)
2/6-4/11……………………………………………………...range0-100
median 50
4/12-5/13……………………………………………………
range 30-90 median 60
5/14-6/10…………………………………………………….range30-90
median 60
6/11-7/22…………………………………………………..range
30-110 median 65
* helped a start-up company (August-October, ‘02)
* Back to my home page: http://www.oocities.org/suzakico/index.html