WELCOME...If you reached this page through my BlackPlanet or Mixedrace homepage, then there's no need to further introduce myself...

This page is purely for more information about my views on love and relationship, life in general, and friendship. Now, this is merely my opinion, so if you get offended or disagree with anything I say, then I apologize, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

****************************

LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS

WHAT IS LOVE? Love is a feeling or an expression of feeling that you have for another person whom you respect, trust, and be truthful to. When you love someone, you give your very best to make that person happy and appreciate everything about that person.

THREE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN A RELATIONSHIP: Love, Respect, and Trust

I think that in order for a relationship to work, both people in the relationship MUST give their best and invest their time and effort. Besides the three most important things that I mentioned above, RECIPROCATION and RELIANCE are also essential in a relationship. When I say RECIPROCATION, it means that everything that your partner does for you or the relationship must be returned in the same manner. It's simple: love=love, respect=respect, and so on. However, it also means that the greater you love someone, the greater the pain it is going to cost once the relationship goes down the drain. As for RELIANCE, it means that your partner must be there for you no matter what. If you need someone to just listen to you about anything, your partner must be willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. It also means that he/she should be able to understand you no matter what and be able to help you realize that there are things you may need to work on (but that doesn't mean you have to change for him/her).

To truly understand and realize the meaning of having the ONE in your life, you must fully understand your needs and wants out of a relationship, what you can and can't compromise, what you can offer, and MOST IMPORTANTLY you have to be happy within and about yourself. Whatever issues you've had about past relationships should not be brought to the new one nor should it affect it. Basically, love like you've never loved before. I know that's hard to do, but it's not fair to the other person to receive less than what they deserve or less of you just because you have issues that you didn't resolve before stepping into the relationship. So my advice is to TAKE YOUR TIME and EVALUATE YOURSELF.

Before you admit to someone that you love him/her, you must think about how you truly understand that person...what makes that person happy or sad, what makes that person upset or laugh, and what makes that person the way he/she is. It is a true and deep commitment to tell someone the words "I LOVE YOU", so if you are not ready to make that kind of commitment to someone, then DO NOT say it. Remember that loving so much can also hurt so much, so make sure you are capable of showing the true meaning of how to love someone before you can admit it.



UPDATE... I am no longer single, but I will keep this post up so that other people out there can understand the reasons why people choose to be single

LIVIN' SINGLE... I usually get questioned about why am I single, and some people just don't seem to understand my real reason why. To them, it seems like being single is a bad thing or that they assume that I'm a player. To satisfy everyone's curiousity, I am single for a couple of reasons:

NUMBER 1: I am single because I CHOOSE to be single. I am at a point in my life that requires all my attention and focus. I am trying to stay focused on getting to my goals, which includes making that money and going to law school next year. Therefore, I need to commit myself to my intellectual and financial growth, and right now...I can't make that kind of commitment to a relationship. And besides, I'm just trying to enjoy my life as a single woman where I can have fun and go as I please without feeling like I have to tell someone my whereabouts.

NUMBER 2: To me, relationships are not to be taken lightly because there is always someone bound to get hurt. Therefore, I have to be sure that, before I get into a relationship with someone, I wouldn't be with that person just to break up with him. I know that there are no guarantees in relationship, but at least I can minimize all the unnecessary drama. More importantly, I don't feel that I should settle for anything less than I what deserve just to say that I have someone in my life. I also believe that a mature woman like me needs to have a mature man by her side, therefore I need to be with someone who has the mental and emotional capacity to handle a mature relationship.

Hopefully, with me explaining my reasons, other people can learn and understand why some people choose to be single. JUST REMEMBER: being single does not mean it's a state of loneliness, rather it's a state of self evaluation.

****************************

A MESSAGE TO THE FELLAS and LADIES

TO THE LADIES... I just want to tell all the ladies out there to please have and keep your self-respect. The way you present yourself is the way the world is going to view how you are. In other words, you can be sexy while leaving something to the imagination. And most importantly, outer beauty is not everything. I know that it may seem like that all the world seems to project these days is the emphasis on being "beautiful", and I'm not saying that you shouldn't be beautiful but everyone is beautiful in their own way. I think having the expensive things don't necessarily make you "beautiful", what makes you beautiful is the ability to take care of yourself. Meaning that taking care of home and paying bills should be more important than a $300 purse or shoes. Another advice that I have for the ladies out here: please never give up on improving yourself intellectually and emotionally. Through my experiences, I have learned to get things on my own and work for what I have. I am not judging anyone out there, but a strong woman needs a strong mind. In other words, continue to educate yourself and build a solid financial foundation for you. If you think about it, who else is going to take care of you when all is said and done??? YOU!!!!

THE "TYPICAL" FEMALE... I know I'm gonna get bombed for this, but I just had to put it out there. Like I said, I'm not judging anyone but females like the "typical" female exist out here and give a REAL woman like me a bad name. So what is a "typical" female? A "typical" female is someone who looks for a man who can give them the world, who are only looking at what is in a man's pocket or what can a man do for them. These are the type of females who are waiting around for someone to do things for them that they can do for themselves but are just lazy to try.

Now ladies, ask yourself...do you fall into the "typical" female category???

TO THE FELLAS... With my experiences in dealing with guys, I have formed a "mistaken" generalization about men. I would hate to think that ALL men are the same, but it is hard not to think that way. I still do believe that there are REAL men out here...those who take care of home, those who are true to their ladies, and those who are doing something positive with their lives. So fellas, my advice to you is to STOP playing games. At some point in your life, you have to realize that games get old and that being a "playa" is not all it's cracked up to be. I do believe in the saying that life is too short, so live life to the fullest, but does that mean that "living life to the fullest" includes getting as much a** as you can or playing games???

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN and A BOY...It is sad to say that there are supposedly grown men out here who still act like boys. So what are the differences between men and boys? (1) A man will speak the truth even though it'll hurt whereas a boy will lie just to cover his a** (2) A man recognizes a strong woman whereas a boy is intimidated by one (3) A man knows how to take care of home and knows what's more important whereas a boy will have all the "bling-bling" to impress the ladies but cannot even pay for bills. I could list many examples, but I would hope you get the idea by now. In other words, the difference between men and boys is knowing when the games stop and when real life begins.

So fellas, ask yourself...are you a man or a boy???

****************************

MY VIEWS ON LIFE

There is nothing in this world that is impossible to reach. It's just a matter of how determined or persistent you are in trying to reach those goals, unless those goals are unreachable because it is beyond your control. So, NEVER SAY NEVER!!!

Life is how you make it. Happiness and peace of mind are the key things that makes life livable. So, all that drama isn't even necessary, so why have them in your life? If you know what you want out of your life, may it be a successful career and a family, you can get there are as long as you have the patience and you work hard for it. You continue to live, therefore you must continue to learn. Life takes us through experiences which teach us a valuable lesson from each experience.

In other words, DON'T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS!!!!!

FRIENDS ARE LIFE'S ICING ON A CAKE: Carefully choose your friends and who you associate yourself with.  Having a few friends whom you can trust and count on is better than having 10 friends who scheme or stab you behind your back.  True friends stay throughout a lifetime because they know that that's how long you'll need them. One of your most precious treasure is having friends that are behind you 100% in everything you do, as well as those who love you enough to tell you when you're wrong. You can make a fool of yourself around them without being judged and they will still love you.

****************************

If anyone would like to comment, criticize, complain, or if you just wanna say something about what I have just said, please feel free to leave me a note on my BP homepage...

Back to my BP homepage

Back to my Mixedrace homepage