Some of you may recall how Newsweek reached new lows in journalistic integrity earlier this year. Well, apparently rival publication TIME took note and decided to show off their microscopic balls as well. Not wanting to risk giving their prestigious "Person of the Year" award to potentially controversial supervillians Donald Rumsfeld, Kim Jong-Il, or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, TIME decided to shred its last ounce of credibility by declaring everyone in the entire world Person of the Year. That's right, reader, you are the TIME magazine Person of the Year (a hollow victory, considering it's shared by the likes of Macy Gray).
TIME's justification for this involves our ("your") use of community based internet sites such as Youtube, Facebook, and MySpace to control information. That's right, uploading an exploitation film wherein I splatter my 13 year old cousin with all manner of gore and creepily soliciting dates on Facebook got me TIME magazine's most prestigious award, cementing my status as the most important person to have drawn breath between January 1, 2006 and December 31, 2006. I am a true American (or rather, global) hero.
Of course, I'd complain more, but I'm just too busy being the TIME MAGAZINE PERSON OF THE YEAR! Mm-mm, bitches, I've got actresses to bang, drugs to do, and interviews to give! See ya!
