1. What is your name and your profession?  

 

My name is Patsy Jolene Sleeman but am so used to being called Misker for as long as I can remember that I sometimes think it should be on my birth certificate. Even my license plates say MISKER and I get mail addressed to Misker Sleeman.

 

If you are to call what I do a profession I guess you would call me a Caregiver. That is what most folks call me.

 

I take care of 4 challenged family members. My Uncle Tommy 75 years old , my Aunt Barb 65 years old, my brother Billy 50 years old and my brother Cecil 60 years old . My uncle Tommy is also physically challenged as he is crippled and blind in his right eye.

 

I also take care of my ex father in law who is 84 and medically blind. He is also a diabetic who needs insulin shots twice a day.

 

My aunt and uncle can not read or write as they never went to school. My brother Cecil can read a little bit. I have been doing this for nearly 23 years. My brother Billy can read a little bit and learned enough to get his drivers license finally.

 

It is a 24/7 job for sure but one I truly enjoy doing. My aunt Barb is anywhere from 5 to 10 years old in mind and she calls me Mommy because she believes I am her Mom. My brother Cecil is only about 4 to 12 in mind and has a very short memory bank. My brother Billy is only about 15 to 19 in mind and my uncle is anywhere from 10 to 20 in mind depending on the day.

2. What made you choose this line of work?

 

I am a firm believer that God put us all on this earth for a purpose and my purpose was to take care of others less fortunate then myself.

 

My aunt and uncle were in institutions and I could not tolerate how they were being treated. So I decided that I would take care of them. I went to the Mental Health Unit in our city at the time and engaged their help in retaining custody and guardianship of them and moved them to my home with me.

 

My brother Cecil had been placed on a farm as a work hand with no pay so I retained guardianship of him as well and moved him to my home.

 

My brother Billy was already with me off and on before this time but came with me full time once I took everyone else.

 

My ex father in law was living all alone in a tiny apartment because his own family did not want him and wanted to put him in a home and he asked if he could live at my house and I figured why not so I took him in as well to care for.

3. Has it been a long life dream?

 

My lifelong dream was to become a lawyer or a judge or a minister. However I also wanted to help other people in ways that would count. I have learned that sometimes what we dream of being is not what is meant for us to be.

4. Do you find any satisfaction in what you do?

 

Yes I find great satisfaction in taking care of these folks. All 4 of my family members were abused in various ways in their lives from beatings to rape. Knowing that they now have a decent life and a decent home is a good thing. Also they have taught me to slow down and smell the roses so to speak because of their innocent ways. Especially my aunt and uncle. The simplest things in life make them happy and through them I have learned how immaterial material items can be.

5. What kind of benefits do you receive? (Not insurance, vacation, etc.)

 

In my opinion the benefits of what I do is the love and happiness that fills my heart each night as I tuck my family in or read a bedtime story to my aunt and watch her face as I make the sounds of the animals in the stories. Listening to her singing when she thinks no one hears her is beautiful. Listening to my aunt and uncle chatter on in their childish manner makes my heart light as I realize that their world is a simple one. One of my loves is music and the fact that everyone else loves music here makes things more enjoyable because we sing together sometimes and they love to dance to the music.

 

I can shut out the realities of the outside world a lot of time because under my roof is the innocence of folks that do not understand war and fighting and murder. I am surrounded by love and caring people that are so special because God made them that way.

 

On occasion I wish that I to could disappear to their world for an hour or two.

6. Are there downfalls with this job?

7. Is it a career or just a job?

 

I have always said that if you are doing something you enjoy then it is a career and if you do not like what you are doing or you get days when you do not want to be there then it is a job. So I guess being a caregiver could be called my career.

8. Is there a historical(?) figure that you admire in your profession?

 

Yes Florence Nightingale is one of the women I admire most. Although her profession was a nurse I feel she also had a compassionate loving demeanor towards all and did what she could to help others. I also admire Mother Theresa and all the good she did in the world. Princess Diana was another woman I admired highly.

9. Where do you draw support from to remain where you are in your career?

 

My main support is my spiritualism. It is by prayer and inner strength that I get through each and every day.

10. Could you share a special anecdote about you profession?

 

-- being challenged my little family here has a complete dictionary of their own. 

 

Sometimes even I look at them strangely and I have had 20 years to get used to their ways. Let me give you a sample of a conversation I listened in on one afternoon when Tom and Barb thought I was upstairs.  The spelling in the conversation is spelled the way they pronounce their words.

It is a normal afternoon and Tom and Barb are sitting out on the back deck just relaxing and chatting back and forth.  Barb looks out over the field. 
"Looks like we is gonna gets rain soon." 
Tom nods his head slowly, "Yep, yep". 
Things are  quiet for a moment.

Barb is humming to herself and notices that Tom has started to nod off. 
"Brother, wake up!!" 
Tom gives his head a shake, "I wasn't sleepin, stop magin' I was."
"Yes you were"
"No I was not"
"Don't try lies to me brother, I can seed you sleepin' "
"Was not!  Was just restin' mine eyes"  "Can't a man rest his eyes wiffout bitchin at him?"

Tom grumbles to himself or some inane object no one else can see, looking all over the place like everything is new to him and he is just noticing it all for the first time.
Suddenly he nods off again.

"Brother!"  "Brotheeeeeeeer   I is talkin' at you and you not payin' tention."
"What?" Tom answers looking quite annoyed .
"I is talkin at you and you is not listened"
"Yes I was"
"Then what did I said"
"I don't know, couldn't hear ya. My hearin' aid ain't workin cause it is in the house."
Barb shakes her head and looks quite perturbed. 
"You spossed to listen when I talks to you brother."
"I was."

Barb sighs and shakes her head again. Quiet takes over for a bit then Barb says,
" I thinks Mom is making pig chops for supper tonite." 
" I wanted gravioli instead." 
"I is inscusted cause we had pig meat yesterday and I wanted a sammich instead."

Tom nods and thinks deeply for a bit.
"Well she knows us bests and if she says we eat chops then we have to eat it. Can't argue wiff her cause she will barbaqued anyways".
He shakes his head seeming to contemplate why no one listens to the fact that he secretly thinks gravioli or a peanut butter sammich would be better then a well balanced meal anytime.

Barb studies the deck floor like it is the most important thing in sight.
"Well if'n it rains we will have to use our ummabrella again." 
"Mom won't let us go out if we don't use it." 
"A little rain never hurt anybodies I say." 
"Wish I had a flywatter out here cause I hates da flies." 
"But Mom is a family you know and she is the boss and we has to do as she says or she will take our cuddering books away."

Tom thinks this over. 
"Well she knows bests and we have to listen to her you know" " We have a good life now and the past is the past." 
"Don't wanna talk bout the past anymore" 
"Why do you talk about the past?"

Barb looks at him like he is from outer space and says, 
"The rain is not the past, it gonna happened today and today is not past yet." 
She shakes her head in discust cause she can not figure out what the past has to do with an ummabrella today.

Tom studies his slipper for awhile and says out of the blue, 
"I deserves espect cause i be older den you is and you need to espected me." 
"My dippie has a hole in it, gonna has to sew it before she sees it."
"I don't has to espect you, who you think you are?" 
"King puddle or somethin' ?"
"I was bornded before you and you has to espect me cause I older"

( Well by now I am laughing so hard I have to step back from the window so they do not see me watching them)

Tom mumbles on to himself and looks everywhere around him again like the world has changed one more time and he needs to check it out. 
" Think I will get the spade and cleans up the Misk poop, he always has to go outside right after I cleans it up." 
"Oh well he is a good dog, don't know any better I guess."

He stands up and walks a few steps then turns around and walks back to his chair and sits down and nods off again.
"Brother!   wake up brother! "
"What you want now !!"
"You did not clean up the Misk poop."
Tom glares at her through his glasses perched on the end of his nose furrowing his brow.
"Yes I did."
"No you didn't." 

Barb shakes her head and picks up her juice.
"Ahhhhhhh this be good juice I think." "You want juice brother?"

Tom still trying to figure out what the last thing was that he was accused of not doing continues to stare at her in utter bewilderment. Finally he opens his mouth and says.
"I did so, you just did not see me." 
"Wonder if she is making grady for the tadoos?" 
"Likes grady and taddos I do."
"When?"
Barb follows the question with, "We had madderoni the other day."
"Awhile ago I did it, when you were in the house."
"Oh."

Both are quiet for a bit without realizing that they have not made sense because Barb has not left her chair to enter the house at all. Suddenly Barb realizes that Tom got the best of her and stands up. Neither realizes the entire conversation made very little sense to anyone but them. (and me of course)

"Brother you are a pained in my leg, cause you do not knowed what you are talkin' about anyways." She struts off in a huff thinking Tom has lost it entirely.
Tom looks up at her and drops his head down again and nods off again wondering why her leg hurts and why that would be his fault. He dozes off, thinking he got the respect he deserved because Barb finally quit talking and interrupting his nap.

11. What are your responsibilities?

 

I have complete and total care of my little family.  Three times a week I do have a homemaker that comes in and bathes my aunt and uncle for me as I can not longer lift them in and out of the tub due to my own health issues. But everything else is up to me to do from cooking their meals to doing their laundry and driving them to appointments with doctors and dentists etc. It is like taking care of a house full of children that will not grow up and leave home.

12. Did you receive special education for profession? Where?  

Actually my education was more along the line of the legal field. Although I received diplomas and certificates in many things I ended up becoming a caregiver instead of following the paths I set out to. What I have learned in taking care of others has come from hands on day to day living. I did take some courses to gain more knowledge of mentally challenged folks but I think being hands on teaches you more then any course or book can do.

13. How long have you been doing this line of work and how has it changed
since you've been with it?

 

I have been doing this for about 23 years now and plan on doing it for the rest of my life as long as I am able. I at one time took care of my mother in law before she passed away as well. She lived with me on two occasions. When I was younger I ran my own daycare as well while my children were growing up as well as I worked outside the home.

 

As for how it has changed - I think the question there is how has it changed me -- I have become more caring and understanding and patient then I ever knew I could be. I have learned that the simplest things in life are free and I have learned that by the grace of God go I -- it could of been me that was mentally challenged instead of them. I have learned that it is not material things in life that bring happiness but love and kindness and compassion that make your heart sleep at night. I have learned that no amount of money on earth could by the satisfaction that taking care of others brings to me. I am thankful to God for giving them to me to take care of.

 

14. What are you goals in your career?

 

My goal is to make others lives a happier place to live in. To take care of and nurture the less fortunate. To follow my heart and learn more about my spirituality. To sit back and watch my grandchildren grow up and become young men and women to be proud of. To leave behind me memories of doing my best to love and respect others .