Problems with the concept of the Age of Consent
The arguments presented here are for the purposes of discussion only. I do not propose or support the elimination of age of consent laws, nor do I promote or encourage the sexual exploitation of minors.
Anyone coming away from reading this essay with a contrary impression is either a complete fucking moron, or really didn't read it.
In addressing the issue of Age of Consent laws, one must first recognize the purpose of these laws. That being, the protection of children from sexual exploitation. I don't know of any reasonable person, who would decry this purpose as an evil or unreasonable one. Children are vulnerable to all kinds of dangers, and in the interests of raising healthy children, reasonable protections are appropriate. The laws that are in place in this country are fairly reasonable, all-encompassing and completely arbitrary. For the protection of pre-adolescent kids, this is completely reasonable.
Where the water becomes muddied is where adolescents are concerned. As anyone who has ever had a teenager (or was one) knows, the sexual behavior of adolescents is not so easy to control, or to arbitrarily regulate. Certainly myself as a teenager engaged in sexual behavior (much of it with an adult, making her a "felon"). The notion that a youth suddenly magically becomes able to consent to sex on their 18th birthday where they were unable to the day before is a ridiculous notion on the face of it. Obviously a subjective view is more reasonable.
The idea of an adult friend or mentor to a youth is not unknown, and hearkens back to the days of man/boy relationships in ancient Greece or medieval Japan. Sometimes these relationships had a sexual element, and sometimes they didn't, but in any case, such relationships were usually considered normal and healthy. Today, such relationships are viewed with suspicion and distrust, if not outright hostility, even if no sexual element is present.
In 21st century America, we are burdened with a society that is based, largely, on the Puritanical tradition, as filtered through the narrow-minded filter of evangelical Christian thought. Sexual freedom in general is scorned as 'degenerate' or 'perverse', and in the case of gay and lesbian relationships, this is markedly so. Because of this rather jaundiced filter, the notion of adolescents as sexual beings is a flashpoint for controversy. It is clear that teenagers are sexual beings, or else the whole notion of teenage pregancy would be moot, and it is equally clear that the vast majority of teenagers are capable of making their own sexual choices, and often do so, even in violation of the law.
Given that, are arbitrary laws based solely on age reasonable? Perhaps not.
The sexual attitudes of our era are strikingly different from those of previous generations in this country, where men could marry women as young as 13 or 14 years old without much social stigma. Indeed, this was considered a desirable match, as maximizing the child-bearing years were important in those days. So you can see that even within our puritanical tradition, attitudes towards AoC have evolved over time, even in our own country.
In my view, age of consent laws based solely on an arbitrary age are eminently reasonable for the protection of children, but in the matter of adolescents, can make felons out of friends.
How many 19 year old men have been prosecuted for having consensual sex with their 17-year old partners? Too many, I would guess.
A lack of arbitray age of consent laws need not compromise the protection of teenagers from sexual predators. Laws against rape and molestation exist and apply to teens just as they apply to adults.
In recent years, a flurry of sordid revelations in the media center on the behavior of clergy who molest youth under their authority. Here is a prime example of what I am NOT speaking about. Any coercion or abuse of authority is unacceptable. If the teenager her/himself doesn't seek out the relationship, then it's an entirely different matter from start to finish.
It is possible, in my opinion, to protect teens from sexual predators while also allowing them to make their own sexual choices, including choosing partners who are above legal age. However, as it stands now, age of consent laws based solely on age punish sexual partners chosen on basis of informed consent on par with rapists, which in my view, is completely unreasonable.
To remedy this dilemma, I would suggest a several different possibilities.
1) Allow teenagers sexual freedom based on subjective criteria depending on the individual, and said
criteria be used in determining whether to prosecute in an age of consent law violation. The
wishes of the minor would have the weight of the law behind it. This would allow the teenager the
power of choosing his/her own lovers, while allowing currently existing age of consent laws to
remain in force with minimal change. This would be a difficult solution at best, but should still be
considered.
2) To adopt a model similar to that of The Netherlands, where adolescents may have sexual
relationships with older people, with parental permission. This would also require
mandatory contraception and STD prevention counselling. Unfortunately, I don't believe
that Americans are sexually mature enough to handle this option.
As previously stated in the disclaimer atop this page, these observations are for the sake of discussion only. Had I not been involved in a relationship with an adult woman at age 15, I would perhaps feel differently about this. But I will say right out front - I have never been involved in any sort of exploitative relationship. I embraced the opportunity given me at 15 and the memories and lessons learned from my time with her have all proved very valuable. And I don't believe that I was such an extraordinary teenager. Time and time again I've talked with other men (and a few women) who have shared experiences similar to mine, and who, like myself, wouldn't trade their youthful experiences for anything. It's a controversial view to be sure, and there are a lot of ignorant and deluded people out there who fail to understand the difference between informed consent and exploitation who keep this issue controversial. To any who may be reading this, I would recommend that you reassess your views. Whether you are a member of NAMBLA who seeks to live in a fairy-tale world where you can have your pick of kids, to the Falwellian Republican who wants to send all gays and lesbians to the gas chambers, there is a large middle ground of ambiguity and shades of grey to assess here.
As is often the case, the truth is somewhere in the middle of the issue.
Take me back to the Main index page...