| Alone I sit on a rocky shoal overlooking the sea, Thinking and wondering what is wrong with me. I stare out to the waves the cool breeze blowing on my face, I watch as a star streaks down like an angel fallen from grace. Questions and ponderings run through my mind, I wonder if it is just me or the whole of mankind. Is it right for one to feel always alone, While everyone else seems to have someone to hold? Perhaps I am destined to live in solitude, Or maybe this loneliness is just an interlude. Am I making some kind of horrible mistakes? Why do I sit singled out and lie lonely awake? Eccentricities and all oddities aside, Should not everyone have someone they can stand beside? I thank God for my friends though they are so few, And they will always support me and always be true. But no one seems interested even a small little bit, To take this friendship and make relations of it. All human beings have a basic need and desire, To find a true soul mate and feel love's burning fire. I dont' want to give up but I feel that I must, Loneliness seems to be the only idea I can trust. My gaze is averted from the sea to the sky, I see the black velvet of night and wish I would die. The astral expanse with its diamonds seems to glow, Its vastness as deep as my longing grows. I hear of the beautiful song and of love's sweet melody, Of how it can heal the heart, make it wild and free. Will I ever know this freedom and life? All I have known is sorrow and strife. People's eyes are rolled and their backs are turned, And at times it appears my friendship's been spurned. It has been said that love is blind, But love is something I cannot find. I see absolutely no interest shown in me, Let alone a romantic emotion, it is not meant to be. Perhaps I will hide myself never to be found, I will keep to myself and never utter a sound. I don't guess I will ever get an upperhand, And I guess I am crazy and no one understands. "Snap out of it," they all rudely say, "You will find your turn with love someday." Can I really believe this when not one single soul, Has an interest in this boy left alone in the cold? Being alone is what I will have to accept, And I will adapt to the 'being single' concept. Love is not nor has it ever been meant for all, And I see this as life's greatest downfall. I feel the urge to stand and look over the shoal, My bare feet are cut on this rough stony knoll. I walk to the edge of the massive overlook, And decide to make this an ending fit for a book. I clear my head as I step forward again, My thoughts and tears mix with the blowing rain. The sea is frothy, violent and seething, The angry waves are noisy and heaving. The stars are covered by the angry clouds, The lightning flashes and the thunder rings out loud. I take a jumping leap to see if perhaps I can fly, But I know I cannot and in the end I will die. I cry out in anguish the wind whipping through my hair, "Alone no longer!" I scream as I fly through the air. Nobody will miss me and no one will care, This life has been lost because love is not fair. My body breaks on the stones, There is a crunching of bones, My screams are drowned out by the sea's moans and groans. The waves pull my dismembered being into it, My blood mixes with the sea perhaps here's where I will fit. I float out into the open, the water tossing me about, I am finally at peace again the demons were let out. My life is gone and I feel not a single emotion, I knew this is how I was to end being loved only by the ocean. My body beneath the waves disappears, Putting an end to this lonliness known for years. Perhaps the world will be a better place, Now that it is missing this ugly face. -By Julian Carlton Aisling |