Les Miserables

*************

At age 13

I made my decision

Either live my life

Or better be dead at 30

If I cannot breathe

The free moments as much as I wish to

I am 34

And far away from either one

 

I used to think

What would be a perfect day to die?

At dawn

With few sailors slowing down

Just to watch

How your blood rushes out of the past

And captures the future

A denial to bow

A rejection for blind fold

And a few soldiers with an order

A few birds with hanging wounds

Would it be the perfect one?

The only worry was

Whether my lips would be locked

While nails are pulled out?

 

Now I am far away from those dates

That land and people

Who hate me the most

Whom I love the most

Now it is just me

A not sheeted stained mattress

Children whom were never asked

Whether to be given birth or death

Girls that were warned at the very first day

Do not count on tomorrow

Moms that never had a child

And

Javert

Taking a dive into HIV

 

(c) Syavash Shaghayegh

February 20, 2000

 

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