Title: Why?
Author: Sythe aka Dawn
Rating: PG
Characters: Woman/Maul
Category: Angst
Feedback: Yes please! (TELOXI@hotmail.com)
Disclaimer: I don't own em, I just borrow em for my fics. I received no
money in its creation.

You have been gone almost a year now, but I can still hear your voice, smell you scent, taste your skin, feel your touch. Your presence still permeates everything and no matter where I go, I see your face - the brilliant liquid fire depths of your magnificent eyes, the heart stopping smile of your beautiful face.

And when I lie in our bed, I can feel you holding to me, hear you breath softly, and the beating of your heart as my head lays upon your pillow. Then I remember the feeling of the way you would touch me, the way you would make love to me, how you would show me that you loved me without saying it.

I hold the last possession of yours in my hands, holding it tight to my chest, despite the danger it posses to me in such an intimate embrace. I hold it close to my heart, remembering the first time my eyes looked upon you, the sudden flash of pleasure in your eyes as you felt my fear and then desire of you. You saved my life that day, and you changed my life forever.

I don't know what I would have done if you were not there, if I never met you. You were dangerous, my senses had told me, but my heart and instincts told me you would give your last dying breath to protect me if I was yours. And I did, I became yours – yours for all eternity. But then you had to leave, and I never knew what become of you, until word was sent to me and your last possession was returned to me, by right as your mate and Consort.

My body, mind, heart and soul aches for you unlike I have ever felt before and nothing like when you left me to fulfill the tasks your mentor set before you.

Why? Why did you have to go? Why did it have to be then? My heart is filled with despair, my eyes filled with unshed tears, and my mind is filled with thoughts and memories of you that will forever remain the most precious gift you have ever given me.

Why? Why did you leave me? Why did you have to die? Why can't I be with you – even in death? I wish you could have told me you loved me, though you always showed me that you did – though it is not your way.

Why did you have to leave me here? Why do I have to be so alone? Why am I here and you are not? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY????????

I look out the transparisteel window before me, looking out to the endless cityscape beyond. I came here looking for a better life, but that was not to be. Then you saved me and I finally had what I have always wanted – love, happiness, freedom from the life I had known, and everything I could ever need or have want for. And you gave them to me.

I can feel you standing beside me, looking out at the scene beyond, the sun just beginning to set and the sky turning a magnificent violet, burgundy, peach, yellow and white. I can almost feel your mind caress my own as your power surrounds me and fills me.

You have been gone almost a year now and you haunt me like a spectre, but I still love you. And I will never forget you for as long as I live. You are a part of me and I am a part of you. When our bodies became one, so did our minds – our souls.

I look down where I had placed my hands upon my belly and I smile softly as a tear runs down my cheek and lands upon the dark red fabric of my dress just above my hands. Here, here is your future, your legacy. Here, is the only thing I have left of you and I will never let anything happen to her.

I let out a soft sigh, smiling as I feel her move inside me, her time very near. She will have your eyes - seeing the image of her in my mind's eye as a young woman; she will have your strength, and your power. I wish you were here, as you so wanted, here to bring her into the world and give her the name you have told me she will have – K'ara: beautiful night - in the language of your people.

Suddenly I see something out of the corner of my eye and I feel my heart almost stop for what I thought I had seen. And quickly turning my eyes back toward the window before me, another tear slips from my eyes as I tighten my trembling bottom lip, forcing myself under control.

I thought I had seen a black ship – the one called Scimitar.