Q. Tabby, where does navel fluff come from and why is it grey?
A. Navel fluff comes from the tummy squirrel. While you're alseep the little fellas tip-toe into the house and sneak under the duvet to snooze in your belly button. The fluff you find is the fur they shed - that's why it's grey... unless you live in Scotland, in which case you'll have red navel fluff.
Q. Why are you a vegetarian Tabby?
A. Because I wuv da ikkle fwuffy animals! Actually I did it just to see if I could - and here I am 20+ years later still doing it. So, when everyone else is dead from a human variant of CJD I'll be Prime Minister, head of the BBC and chief designer at Chanel. Oh, and sausages and burgers - they're made from lips and arseholes. Enjoy!
Q. Where did I leave my car keys Tabatha?
A. They're in the car door.
Q. What are your favorite things?
A. Ooh, whiskers on kittens! >'.'< And snow, driving in fog, my marabou trimmed mule shoes, pasta, proper milk shakes, presents, Stone Temple Pilots, kicking up fallen autumn leaves, the smell of freshly cut grass and Chanel No5.
Q. Where do babies come from?
A. Aah... well... when mummy loves daddy, she lets daddy give her a special hug which makes him very happy. While daddy's having a smoke mummy calls the Stork, orders a baby and the Stork delivers it nine months later by Air-mail in a big white fluffy bundle. I hope this helps.
Q. What makes you laugh Tabs?
A. Bill Hicks, Bobby Slayton, Ripping Yarns, South Park, Danger Mouse, Duckman, Tom & Jerry and Road Runner (Meep! Meep!)
Q. Got any heroes?
A. Absolutely! I was lucky enough to see Bill Hicks on the Revelations Tour. If you weren't, have a look at the video - I was in the audience. Also Wonder Woman... I remember watching Linda Carter as a small child and wishing I could turn into her just by spinning around. In fact I still do - wouldn't it be fantastic?!?
Q. Hey, what's the capital of Brazil?
A. Brasilia - stupid!