STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you
love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will
you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone
number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people
are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be
the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance
like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to
improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die
for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the
world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay
there??
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic
and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it
goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman
something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy
says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think
you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are
you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I
checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more
important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us
light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time
when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call
a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your
coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors
do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history
was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a
lot !"
Sam : "It's a family
tradition".
Teacher : "What do you
mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a
street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your
mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey
the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past
year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children,
if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
showing?"
Student : "Brotherly
love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell
me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have
to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient : "What are the
chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent.
Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.
Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody
give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother
and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George
Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted
doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."