But more than that, this Christmas was special because of the two living children we do have! The boys are growing up so fast, and it's fun to watch them maturing. They say and do the sweetest things!
A few nights before Christmas, I was hanging some lights and decorations. We have these little tiny miniature stockings that we hang up, though we don't put anything in them. But our names are on them in glitter paint, and there is one for each of us. There are even ones for our angel babies too.
Well, Eric was watching me hang them, and he said we needed some for the "new babies". You see, he has been praying for a sister for almost 2 yrs now, and sometime along the way, he decided that he wants TWO baby girls! So he informed me that we needed to hang TWO stockings for the baby girls who are coming, because that is what he is praying for, so surely God will send them! How could I tell him no? So I let him choose two stockings from our extra blank ones, and hung them up with the others. Eric even wanted me to put the babies' names on their stockings, but since no names are decided on yet (though we have ideas), I told him we would wait on the names. But it was one of those sweet moments that make you want to cry in happiness!
Jamie is 4, but he is verbally delayed, so he really doesn't understand about my pregnancy yet. However, he loves to look at pictures of babies. One night, Eric got out his baby photo album. So then Jamie got his out too. I have made a photo album for each child, using all their first year pictures. I included pictures of me pregnant, their ultrasound pictures, and copies of their birth certificates and things like that. They don't understand how the u/s pics show a baby, but they both LOVED looking at all the photos. They could recognize some of the people holding them in pictures, such as their grandparents or their daddy and mommy of course; but if they saw someone they didn't know, they would ask who it was. They would also recognize old toys, and say things such as, "There's me with my dump truck!" We had such a great time, just browsing through the albums, and I enjoyed their comments and exclamations as we went. :)
Eric really wanted to help me decorate our Christmas tree, so I let him help. It turned out quite different this year than usual, but it was very nice! For one thing, we had a bunch of new ornaments which Eric had made in school, using popsicle sticks and craft foam, etc. We devoted one whole section of the tree to those. We made sure to hang our special family ornaments on the front of the tree---these include Ezra's special star, the boys' photo ornaments, and their birthstone angels. It also includes special ornaments for our four angel babies. Eric helped me choose the placement for the ornaments, and it turned out very nice. Best of all, he had such a blast helping me!
Jamie also enjoys Christmas, even if he does not fully understand it yet. He also had brought home season-related crafts that he had made in preschool. He got all excited as I hung his various pictures and crafts around the LR windows. I imagine he had help from his teacher, but he also made us this wonderful "wreath." It is a piece of white cloth with his handprints in a circle, done in green finger paint. Then a small red bow was added, and some little gold bells. Definitely something I will treasure for always!
I'm thrilled to have my children---they are all such blessings! I am already looking forward to next Christmas when--God willing--we will have our new baby (or babies??) to share it with us. :)
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April 2005---My heart breaks as I write this, but our baby has gone home to God, and won’t be spending next Christmas with us. On April 22, we had a tiny baby boy, who we named Lucas Ryley Howard. He was born still. Apparently he died from a true knot in his umbilical cord, which was possibly compounded by placental insufficiency.
