say ~ Nov., 2001

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I'll work on Fuji's ¤ë¢¸ pretty soon. My role is an ex-boxer, who works at the cake shop called 'Antique.'   The drama itself is kinda comedy.  It's the first time that I've ever tried a comedy drama.

In the past, I mostly worked on so-called serious dramas, such as 'Å]¤kの条¥ó' and '¤Ó¶§は¨Hまない'¡@Therefore, my fans seem to want me to be in serious-tasted dramas.  While reading letters from my fans, they often write like, "I prefer to your long hair rather than to your short hair" "I want to watch your serious drama next time"...etc.  Briefly speaking, they seem to expect me to play a weak, delicate boy (laugh).  This time, I hope that I can positively betray my fans, and show them different aspects of myself. Because I'm playing an ex-boxer, I went into training with a professional trainer in order to look more like a boxer physically.  I think that I put more muscles on my shoulders.  It's really comfortable to get myself into shape naked.  Basically, I love to be naked.  When I get home, I usually take off my socks at the entrance, then gradually taking off my jacket and pants on the way to my bed, and finally I'll be naked (laugh) But recently I'm trying to wear only my underwear.  At one time, I often stayed at a hotel for some reasons.  You know, when staying at a hotel, if you forget to post the notice saying "Don't disturb" at the door in the morning, the cleaning staff will come into the room suddenly, right?  I did it many times, and I was sleeping completely naked on the bed when they came in.  It was just embarrassing, and I think that I should be more grown up (laugh) My room has a wooden floor, the wall color is white, with no animals, no posters or pictures on the wall.  What I have in my room are the computer and audio tools to write songs and make some video clips.  Therefore, it looks rather like a warehouse than somebody's room.  Pretty inorganic.  When I'm in my room, I write songs but don't listen to music so often.  I usually do nothing but just stay there with no sound, and I love it.  Arashi's member, Jr, and some other friends, who come to my house, look bored but they often come over for some reasons (laugh).  Once a year in Winter, 5-6 members of us (with Arashi and Jr) hold a hot-pot party to celebrate X'mas and some members' birthday. We've been doing for 3, 4 years so far.  At that time, I go shopping and do cooking but just cutting vegetables and some stuff.  I basically don't like to welcome someone at home, but nobody coming to my house tries to do anything so I'm the only one who do it (laugh) I'm like their mom. After we finish the hot-pot, we usually talk until morning comes. We often talked about our own dreams, including CD debut in the past.  We might be too hasty in those days.  I joined Johnny's when I was in the 2nd grade of junior high, and 6 months after that I was in the center of Jr.  I began to work on a drama soon, too.  Therefore, you may think that everything has been going well with me until now.  But to tell the truth, I run up against a wall once in a while.  About 3 years ago when I was 16, everybody around me began to see me as a 'leader' of Jr, though I don't like to be called so. I felt pressures about being seen as the leader, but I roused myself to do my best for it, anyway.  However, there were so many members in Jr, the oldest ones were 20-something and they youngest ones were still in elementary school.  There were 60 to 70 members in total at that time.  It wasn't easy for me to say anything toward the members older than me.  It was also hard for me to get along well even with Jrs who are the same age as me in those days.  At such time, there were some incidents among Jrs. Then, suddenly I was scolded like, "This is your fault, because you don't work hard as the leader."  "You should teach them what to do" Now, I fully understand that the company staff said so hoping for my best, but it was hard for me to understand such situations in those days. 

At one time, some Jrs caused a big trouble and I, too, had to go apologize to people who were given annoyance because of this. It's collective responsibility.  All of a sudden, I got to hate everything around myself.  I just wanted to get out of everything, and phoned my mom, not knowing what to do. Probably, I was too upset at that time but.... at the same time, I might be just childish.  I usually don't rely on my parents, hardly phone them even now.  So at that time, my mom was surprised when I phoned her for a help in the midnight with no train in operation.  I just said "Come to pick me up now" and didn't tell her any reason.  But my mom seemed to realize something was wrong with me so she just said "OK, I'll go" But in the end, I got calm down, and phoned her to tell her not to come and I was all right.  Because of exploding my feelings by phoning my mom and whining toward her, I could come to myself, like "What the heck am I doing now???" Around those times, I put through the wringer in human relations and work.  That's why I'm now staying strong.  I don't get depressed so easily now. Even if I'm in trouble, then I tend to calmly think about what I should do next to get over it.  I think that some of Jr members may be depressed now with a thought of, say, quitting Jr. Probably, they are expecting that someone says, "Don't give up, hold on." but I dare to say, "If you want to quit, then just go ahead" instead.  I was trained that way, and I always thought "Damn it!  I'm not going to give up!" When I was told to work on a drama right after I joined Jr, I said, "No no, I can't do it so suddenly" then, the company staff replied, "Then, you can't be professional.  You can't work as professional in this world if you say any word except for the one like, "OK, I got it."  no matter what."  Since then, I did anything just recklessly even though I was incompetent.  There was no choice for me then.  We can't continue working in this showbiz world unless we feel "Damn it!" when we are tested, that's why I dare to be harsh toward those who are now at a loss.  Even now, I sometimes feel, "I may not fit into this job..." But there are still tons of things that I've never tried and thus don't know yet.  Once I try those stuff, then I'll surely know what they are like.  It may make my potentials broader, too. About dramas, I don't want to fix my own image into one certain genre.  I want to try as many roles as possible and want to see what kind of potentials I myself have.  This time, I'm trying comedy and that's what I'd been wanting to do.  So, I'm going to challenge to the limits of my abilities, and hope you all enjoy my challenge.

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