My story, huh? Umm.. I could make one up that sounds really exciting so you don’t get bored. Or, I guess I could tell you the real thing and give you some No-Doze to keep you awake. Does that kind of thing work on a vampire? I don’t know this stuff. I’m really very uneducated in a lot of ways. I blame my teachers. You’d think they’d have been more diligent at teaching me certain stuff that might be important. My parents paid taxes, after all. You’d think I could manage to get a thorough education. But I guess it’s not the fault of the teachers. The administration is so picky about what they can teach and all that. I’ll save blaming the teachers for my math teacher. I mean, I didn’t learn a thing there. Although I can add five plus three without help. I know people who need help with that.

So... umm... where do I start? In the beginning I was a zygote. I don’t think I can go into much detail at that stage. Wasn’t much going on. Same with the embryo and fetus stages. I was just there, kind of hanging out. I think my mom must’ve eaten a lot of ice cream when she was pregnant with me, cause I like to eat it a lot now. Can’t get too much of a good thing, you know. I’ve had people suggest an IV feed of it, but then I couldn’t taste it. Then what fun is that? I eat it for the taste, after all. What other reason could there be? It’s sure not for the ice cream headaches, they’re a real pain.

Okay, so we can move onto a time when I can actually remember what was going on. I was a good kid. Very good, even. Saintly, many say. I think that the church I went to is going to have a plaque dedicated to me. Right next to the statue of St. Francis. My name in big bold letters, topped by a halo and everything. I tried to talk them out of anything like that, but try and talk a priest out of such things. It doesn’t work. They’re very stubborn, you know. Not as stubborn as nuns, of course, but that goes without saying. Though, I did say it anyway, didn’t I? Oh well. You get the picture.

Who am I kidding? My childhood was pretty much normal and dull and all that. It had its high points, but that’s about it. I grew up in Chinatown, which can be a very dangerous place to live. We lived with my father’s parents, who were very strict and traditional Chinese. I’m not a very strict or traditional person, so we had our clashes. I mean, I love them a lot, but we just never saw eye to eye. Especially when it came down to things like... well... girls. Or relationships. Or whatever. They wanted to find me a nice traditional Chinese girl, even had one picked out. But well.. she was nice.. I guess? Just... she wasn’t my type. I really want a girl who is less easily led around. She was raised by very traditional parents, so she was all quiet and ready to be told what to do. I hate that idea. I’d rather be told what to do than tell someone else what to do. And God knows, I’ve been told where to go more than once. Not that I want to be told what to do, but it beats trying to be all dominant and stuff. I’m not a dominant type person.

Well, I did okay in school, made friends and tried to avoid the nasty people. There are a lot out there, you know. Asian gangs can be scary and mean. And they like to pull people in. I wanted to avoid an early death, so I didn’t want to join. And to avoid an early death at the hands of the people who wanted me to join, I guess I used what I had to defend myself. That was humor. I’ve always been kind of a goof off and I like to make people laugh, so that’s how I worked it. If they like you, they have a harder time killing you I found out. So I did my best to make people laugh. I got really good at it, too. That’s not to brag or toot my own horn or anything. I mean, if I wanted to brag I’d say I had straight A’s and had about thirteen top colleges begging to give me scholarships. I did get an A once, though. It was in a history class. I don’t know how I did it, I think the teacher might have miscounted and all. But I wasn’t going to bring it up. Better than those C’s and D’s I’d been bringing home. That’s not to say I’m not smart or anything. I’m a genius. I just got bored easily. But again, I’m not bragging. That wouldn’t be modest and I try to be modest.

Okay, well, before graduating from high school, I found myself actually contemplating my future. I had no idea what to do, I really didn’t want to be a great mathematician or president or anything. Those would be really boring jobs. For me, anyway. I’m sure for the people who have them, the jobs are okay. Oh, except being president really wasn’t an option anymore anyway. I mean, Claude Heinrich kind of took the title. Or some kind of ruler type title, I don’t think president fits. So I set my sights on smaller goals. Being on the west coast made things easier, being a minority and all and away from those Striker guys. Talk about scary. So I started myself on toward a job that I thought would be fun. I tried out in some local comedy clubs as a comedian. And you know what? They liked me. I wasn’t sure if they would or not. I have a kind of weird, hyper, get the audience involved type of humor. But they liked it! I was shocked. So I started doing more gigs and it was fun. My grandparents and my father frowned on it, but my mom supported me totally. She’s not as serious as they are, after all.

It was just a month after graduation that I got a pretty big break. I got asked to do some of my comedy in Las Vegas. Can you believe that? I mean, that’s starting toward the big time. It wasn’t a huge gig or anything, but it got me in the door. I even had some agents talking to me about possibly representing me. I never did make a decision on them, I didn’t get the chance. I’d only done about three nights of shows when something really weird happened. It started with this woman. Doesn’t it always? I mean, it does in the movies anyway. This woman was really pretty and all that, but it was easy to tell that she was also kind of nuts. That’s Mora, in case people haven’t guessed. She came in and was all perky and stuff and when she came up to talk to me, I wasn’t going to complain. I like talking to people, and sure... pretty girls are always a favorite. But I could tell pretty quickly that she wasn’t exactly normal. Not in any way. She kept talking about a collection, and foxes and all that. Confused me, and that’s not easy. I mean, I live confused so I can’t get much worse. But she managed it. I tried to excuse myself from her, but she wasn’t having it. I think she used her little charm thing on me, cause suddenly I felt like it was just a really cool idea to go with her. Of course, I kind of expected a car or something, but we just... *Poof*! Disappeared. Went to where she was starting to keep the guys she found attractive.

Well, it was definitely interesting meeting all of those other guys. Some were more interesting than others. And lots of them didn’t hit it off with each other. There were some there that were pretty unfriendly and even nasty. Then there were those that weren’t putting up with it, mostly Jaedyn and Thornton. They seemed to enjoy butting heads with the other guys, though I tried to keep any really big fights from happening. That wasn’t easy at all sometimes. But everyone lived through it, so that’s a bonus, huh? When Mora had to let us all go, quite a few split. But then some of us decided to stick around and see if there was anything we could do to help with the cause against people like Mora. I guess I was having one of my community service periods. And yeah, I guess I got kind of attached to some of the guys. We all shared something, namely having our lives turned upside down by Mora. I couldn’t bring myself to not like her at all, I have a hard time disliking anyone. Or well, I couldn’t before what she did to Jaedyn. That was really horrible and just watching him and what he’s going through really makes me even want to hurt Mora. Not that I think I could hurt anyone, but it’s the thought that counts, right? I can’t imagine having to go through what Jaedyn is at all. I think I’d like to avoid vampirism and insanity and all of that. We all try to help out Jaedyn how we can, and now we even have some of the not so nice so-called Foxes living with us again. That’s after Mora tried to mess with them again. They took sanctuary with us. I know she messed with Lin’s head and that was really mean. Made him obsessed with her. He hides a lot now, poor guy. But they’re safe with us now that we have some of the Panteras staying with us now. Boy, am I glad they are. Cause we couldn’t really do much to defend ourselves at all. At least, most of us couldn’t. I suppose Thierry could do some major slapping, he’s pretty good at that. He and Alex could comment on the clothes of the opponents or distract the male ones by coming onto them. That’d do it. I’ve noticed that that kind of thing bugs guys a lot. I didn’t let it bug me. They stopped then cause it wasn’t getting a reaction. See? I’m a genius. Certifiable, even.