Disclaimer: Y'all know I am just playin' about this WHOLE thing, right? I seriuosly wouldn't want anybody to follow these steps and get there dreams crushed!

Ok I was mulling this over in the bathtub last night. It seems to me like every two years America needs a new female teen idol. Remember in 1996 it seemed like everywhere you looked, Jennifer Love Hewitt was there? Then her star faded and lo and behold who do we have now, but Britney Spears! Then I was thinking about the things that these girls had in common. So if you want to be America's next female teen idol, get your notebook out and start jottin...

• You had to be on a Disney program from the late 80's early 90's (preferrably "Kid's Incorporated" or "The Mickey Mouse Club"
• You have to be younger than 20 years old
• You have to weigh less than 120lbs
• You have to be less than 5'7"
• You have to have long brown hair (oh scratch that extensions are exceptable)
• You have to be in good with at least one VJ at MTV
• You gotta be from a lil' rinky-dink town that no one has ever heard of before
• Must have a bubbly personality and giggle a lot (experience as a cheerleader would help here)
• Must be willingly to show your tummy as well as more of your flesh
• You may be totally tone death and have two left feet (your voice will be "enhanced" anyways)
• You have to have at least 2 backup dancers that dance better than you
• You have to have to endorse a teen product or get a Tommy modeling contract

So if you meet ALL these criteria, you will be the next big thing! According to my calculations this could happen to about maybe 4 girls in America, so keep your eyes peeled!