I’m torn, now. I can pick up where I left off last, or I can put down what transpired today. It may be safest to leave today’s events for later, when they’re not so near and I’m not so angry about them. Yet, if I leave it, I might not get back to it until I put down everything that went before it--which could take me a while.

Except for some calmness and objectivity, there’s nothing to gain by distancing myself from it. But I’ll lose detail if I delay. Looking back on my last entry, I can see that that is an easy loss to make. So I’ll make it the events of today.

Daron has resigned from leadership of the Guild. Before this happened, we formed a Council for the Guild, with Redrik--a seasoned elven ranger--as the other chairman, in light of the aid he gave the Guild while Daron’s soul was departed. Myself, Hermy, Aria, an elf warrior named Darkar, another elven ranger called Tahlin, and Mirielle, a human mage of the Hightower--there is much to be said of her, but that must wait.

Then Daron’s resignation came, and the Council was left in shambles. Redrik--as is typical of--

I’m ambling, when I need to say something specific.

Soon after Daron stepped down, a cloaked and masked man came to the Guild and joined us--Koden Damascus, he called himself. My best guess, judging from his build, was that he was an elf. I wondered why he hid himself, but brought him in and gave him a pin. When asked why he hid his face, he told me that it only reminded him of his past. I didn’t press the issue and welcomed him in. He then left. A few days later he came again, but didn’t stay long.

I’ve spent today arranging for a meeting of the Council, so we can get back on track. In the afternoon, “Koden”, along with Anaya, an elven druid who recently joined us. As I spoke with her, “Koden” became strangely agitated, grabbing me and demanding why I “abandoned him.” Seeing as how I’d only seen and spoken with him twice, I was seriously confused. Anaya tried to pull him off me, and I was shoked to hear her call him Kai. He finally released me--after trying to punch me--and put down his hood. And who should I see under the disguise, but the charge Master Shantus sent me and I’d lost in Clerihew.

Kai’s anger was unabated by my amazement. I told him of how I searched, but he called me a liar and threw back his pin. Then he left, not listening to me. Anaya had no answer for me either, not even when I told her of the circumstances under which Kai and I parted. I imagined that Marina had corrupted his heart and mind and turned him to the darkness, and at this point, that’s what I’m assuming. She could also be somewhere, here in the city--the Shrine of her god, I’m assuming--and that’s a Darkfriend I owe a bit of a reckoning. Especially now. Anaya promised me she would speak with him and try to find out why he’d changed so. She also seemed to think ill of Marina from what I told her, but I cautioned her not to pursue her. I hope she doesn’t, but she didn’t listen to me last time I made an important request. Then she left to look for him, and I was left alone with my wrath. I took myself into the training room to vent it on a training dummy, when Cousin Natala surprised me by walking in unheard. She of course picked up on the fact I was less than happy about something, and I explained what happened. I don‘t know how much help I can expect from her. This matter deals with Demmionites, and she is a cleric of the Mother. So I must rely on Anaya, and hope that she can talk some sense into Kai. I pray that she can.

I see Kai teetering on the edge of evil now, and I couldn’t help but think of the cruel irony of my new squire… A Southlander, carrying the same name as a man I’ve written about before--Da’Vane--who is now dead, killed during an attempted capture of a murderer. The Southlander himself was assigned to me by Mistress Gottrisdottir, that I could teach him the ways of a Knight of Agathalos. Our introduction was not necessarily a happy one. I was meeting allies at the Last Lich to hunt a vampire (which I will cover later), and stepped inside to see Da’Vane being magically held in place by Lord Malifaeyr (my association with him also deserves later discourse). It seems that Da’Vane had been looking for me, and stopped at the Inn to get some directions. He then refused to pay NaShae, when Malifaeyr chose to make a timely entrance. Just about then I entered the scene, and things were explained to me. To make up for his rudeness, Da’Vane was made to clean the Lich’s stables. I paid for him to stay the night there while I went about the vampire hunt.

When I returned, I learned that he indeed was the fledgling who was to be sent to me. This arrogant, over-zealous, noble-born whelp who had no clue why NaShae didn’t recognize his authority as a servant of Agathalos and thereby give him the wine he drank for free. He pushed me so far as to strike him and order him to his room.

It wouldn’t be the first time we’d clash. He and I were standing guard at the Guild (why, I will speak of later) when he became impatient and bored with sitting there, and stormed off into the city to look for something to smite. I followed him as he spread his senses out and followed them to an old man in an alley, who, for his skinny and frail appearance, possessed quite a bit of blackness in his heart. Da’Vane believed that fact alone was enough to drag him to the guards for imprisonment--if only it were that simple. When I told him as much, he proceeded to accuse me of failing in my duty and falling from grace. The old man took the opportunity to put a dagger in his side and scramble up the wall of the alley, unnaturally fast. Almost like a spider he was.

He escaped, and Da’Vane stormed off again after he and I had words once more.

Until recently, I could make no sense of why Da’Vane acted the way he did. His strange view of things seemed to go so far as to not defer to the Mother when necessary. I looked for information on the Southlands in the Church’s library, hoping to find something that would help, to no avail. The greatest insight on the matter that day came from Brother Allegion, as it happened. I saw him sitting out in the Park by the side of the pond, and went out to speak with him. What he told me was surprising, but helpful. He himself has had a Southlander as his squire in the past--and that one of four, in his words, was his greatest failure. He told me of the arrogance that Southlanders show, and advised me to patience. I was no closer to understanding why Da’Vane followed his duty the way he did, but I felt better-equipped to deal with him.

The next time I returned to the library at the Church was with Mirielle, researching a Demmionite sect known as the Eternal Flame, to help Donnivan, a newly-joined Guild member who came from a village in the north, where they emulated various animals in their way of life--in Donnivan’s case, the wolf. The Flame treacherously razed his village, and he was apparently the only survivor. He carries with him a bastard sword that bears their symbol. On his own, he was only able to learn their name and the fact that they were--are, rather--worshippers of the Dark Son--and the Dark Sun, as well, as it happens. He told me as much, and I remembered reading something in Gray Master’s library that briefly mentioned the Eternal Flame. I couldn’t leave the city with the Guild as it is to go back to the lodge and search for that one obscure reference, but Miri suggested that we try the library at the Church. The information there on the Flame was scarce, but I found a gem of knowledge that made all clear to me about Da’Vane.

Millennia ago, the Flame mustered a huge force in the Southlands and began undertaking a campaign of slaughter to serve as sacrifice and tribute to their god. A host of warriors of the Light was mustered in response, and the two clashed. In the end, the Light prevailed, but at huge cost. The citizens of the Southlands, in gratitude for their deliverance, swore themselves and their descendants to aid the Servants of Thalos in any and every way they could.

The Flame did not undertake such a campaign anywhere else in the world, at least not to my knowledge. And considering my source, I believe that if there were any others, I would’ve found out.

So there in the Southlands, the common people relegated Ordemetrex to the next rung with their new devotion to Agathalos. It’s been this way ever since the Flame were defeated so long ago, and Da’Vane, never having left his country before now, was completely ignorant of the way things are in the rest of the world. He came here, where the word of a Lightbringer, any Lightbringer, is not law. And where we must defer to the Mother, and suffer Demmionites to live and continue their dark work, while we can do nothing unless given sufficient cause and evidence. In a lot of ways, I can see how a situation like that of the Southlands would be a great boon to such as I. Yet, it led to Da’Vane arrogance, which was not a good thing. Given that authority and power, I wonder if I would soon become the same way.

I then told Da’Vane this, and showed him the book I’d found the illuminating passage in. He has seen the truth now, and is a changed man. Now I can work with him, train him up, and make him a paladin to be respected and honored rather than resented… I hope. At this time last year, I was still a squire myself. So I hope that I can do this right. I left Masters knowing that I still had much to learn. I’ve learned quite a bit, but I’m aware there’s more to come yet, and I’m worried about my fitness to impart that knowledge.

I’ve rambled long, now.

Today, after telling Cousin Natala about Kai, I shared with her what I knew of the Eternal Flame’s activities in the Southlands, and explained my breakthrough with Da’Vane. She was pleased to hear it. We spoke of what would be covered in the Council meeting, and she expressed some worry about Daron. He’s been gone without any word for some time, now. I told her that I think he can take care of himself, but she reminded me how he died after disappearing without word last time--whereafter I helped her bring him back.

I can give her no answer. I’ve not seen him in some time, but I hope that I’m right and he can watch his back, wherever he is. He may have left us, but he’s a good man, and I want no ill to befall him.

This has been another lengthy entry, and I yet have much to cover. At least I laid down the events of the day along with the ramble. Barring any overly dramatic occurrences, I’ll try to pick up where my previous entry left off, and come closer to catching up with this journal.