Q. Dear Dr. Guthrie,
For the past three months I have been having an affair with a married man and I think that I might be pregnant with the child of a man who happens to be the boyfriend of a relative. I know that what I am doing isn’t right but I can’t seem to help it. I just have been really down on myself lately and I really feel like this man, the married man loves me in some way; but now I have this baby coming and I don’t know whether I should just tell him it’s his child and avoid revealing the truth to my relative. She is family after all.
-Desperately Seeking Answers
A. Dear Desperately,
I think that it is imperative that you discover what it is that is motivating you to act in such self-destructive way. I would recommend therapy because it sounds like you might have severe self-esteem issues that are really impairing the way you see yourself and the situation; and it is my professional experience that having a sole goal of landing either the husband or boyfriend of people that you are close to is some kind of disorder that will probably lead to much distress. I think you need to find the strength to leave both of these men and find someone that is going to help you raise the baby and realize that you are a valid and wonderful commodity. I know this seems difficult, but the alternative is your friends and family not understanding what is going on inside of you and branding you a slut. I think that would be detrimental to your self-esteem. Remember, you have the strength to take control of your life and I am sure you are probably not as alone as you might think and feel. |
