Q. Dear Myrna,
For the past three months I have been having an affair with a married man and I think that I might be pregnant with the child of a man who happens to be the boyfriend of a relative. I know that what I am doing isn’t right but I can’t seem to help it. I just have been really down on myself lately and I really feel like this man, the married man loves me in some way; but now I have this baby coming and I don’t know whether I should just tell him it’s his child and avoid revealing the truth to my relative. She is family after all.
-Desperately Seeking Answers.
A. Dear Desperately,
Lord your worldview is all messed up. What you need to do is stop all the lying and deceiving and for goodness sake use protection next time because the world does not need you to be mother to anymore children, pets or stuffed animals.. Now let me tell you a little story only because I can remember having a glass libido when I was younger and I don’t really like to throw stones; but back in Atlanta we used to have a scarlet woman who we used to call Dollar a Dottie. You gave her a dollar and dottie was yours until the next person came around with another dollar. You know what happened to Dollar a Dottie when she started messing with the minister? The minister’s wife shot her. She had a jury of twelve angry, divorced women and got off with community service. Let that be a lesson to you. Now you need to take responsibility for your child and raise him or her. You do not, I repeat, you do not need a man to help you raise a child; and if you don’t think that's the truth, which it is then you need to give that child up to someone that does, like I did with my baby Contessa. More importantly however, next time you need to steal something from the houses of your friends and relatives, for God’s sake steal the cabbage out of the fridge not the husband out of the bedroom. |
