It's all about my FAVE artist, baby!
Chapter 2: Close Encounter of the "Weird Al" Kind
(Or, how I made a fool out of myself in front of Weird Al, not once, but twice!)
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It's all about my FAVE artist, baby!Chapter 2: Close Encounter of the "Weird Al" Kind (Or, how I made a fool out of myself in front of Weird Al, not once, but twice!) |
Table of Contents |
Trying To Meet Weird AlWell, after the concert ended, a small group of fans went up to the stage to see if they could meet Al. I never planned on staying, nor did I even think before the concert to try to get an autograph, but once I got the idea in my head, it just wouldn't leave! The stage manager said that Al wasn't going to meet with anyone except those lucky 'bastiges' who had backstage passes. So, we followed the lucky 'bastiges' to the backstage door. Of course, I couldn't go in without backstage passes (as rare as those gold Wonka certificates)! The guard at the door wouldn't let us in (stupid rules always ruin all the fun!). However, he did tell us that we could go behind the theater and wait. So I did. Let me tell you, I never in a bazillion years thought there were so many hardcore Al fans in the world! I waited with a group of (conservative estimate) 125 people. The weather was cool. And, as it turned out, so was Al! We all waited and chatted and waited and chatted... you get the picture. The crowd was very diverse: children, adults, senior citizens, the whole gamut! There were two older gentlemen there (we're talking 70+) waiting for autographs. One of the gentlemen said he wanted to get an Al's autograph for his son! (Like I believed that story!) His son must have been at least 50. The other gentlemen said he wanted an autograph for himself. That's just proof of Al's cross-generational appeal! Undeterred by the stage manager who kept coming out saying that Al was sick, had a plane to catch, and just plain wasn't coming out to meet us (so go home, for cryin' out loud!), we waited. Finally, we were told that Al was going to come out and we needed to make an orderly line and he's meet us one by one. By the luck of where I was standing (right next to the door of the band bus), I thought I would be at the head of the line. I couldn't have been more WRONG! It turned out that I was pretty close to dead last! Isn't that the way things go? And so, of course, I'm totally unprepared for this momentous occasion -- no pen, no camera, nothing casual-sounding yet totally rehearsed to say! I only had something to get signed because I kept a copy of the playbill. Luckily, I befriended a young man named Owen, a professional photographer, who graciously said he'd take my photo with Al with his camera in exchange for me taking his photo. I couldn't say yes fast enough! Top
So, Al begins to very graciously meet and greet every single stinkin' one of us. I was so excited, the line didn't move nearly fast enough for me. Then I started fretting that Al would have to leave before I was able to meet him. His next show was in Orlando, you know. I decided to do something a little more productive than fret, so I tried to come up with something interesting to say to Al before it was my turn. As it turned out, I needed WAY more time. You know how you think that when you finally meet your be-all-end-all icon, you’ll be so smooth and say exactly what you want while being both witty and interesting? Well, that never happens in real life! Let me direct your attention to Exhibit #1: What I said to Weird Al. And, Exhibit #2: What I didn't say to Weird Al. Top
So, I finally get up to him and hand him my playbill. I’m cool up to this point. Then I dare to be stupid, but not in a good way. I told Al that I’m a huge fan of his and have all his albums! How’s that for original? WAIT! It gets even worse. Then I tell him how my friend Lisa and I tried to parody the song Synchronicity II when we were in high school. I told him it turned out terribly but we had a lot of fun with it. Well, I couldn’t see his reaction because he was diligently signing my playbill and his hair was hanging in his face, but I JUST KNOW that he was rolling his eyes at me. He must have been thinking, “Oh, great, another moron who thinks what I do is easy?!?” Who can blame him? I sure don’t! I asked him if I could have my photo taken with him and he said yes. So, in a flash, it was over. Or so I thought… Top
Well, I wasn’t the absolutely last person in line, so I floated – not walked – but floated toward my car. Then I couldn’t find my car key. I remembered with a gasp that my purse had opened while I was enjoying the concert. Maybe the key had fallen out and I didn’t know it. So, I sprinted back to the backstage area and asked the security guard if he could let me back in to look for my key in the theater. The stage manager (the same one who told us Al was not coming out) took me back into the theater to my seat and I found my key, my lipstick, my ATM card, and some cash (mine, I think). So, as we're walking back toward the loading dock, I’m babbling away telling this guy about how excited I was to meet Al and that I’m a Florida girl and I was freezing in the 50-degree weather and blah blah blah… Top
So, I leave the stage door and THERE HE WAS!!! All alone. No security guard, no more fans, no band members – just the two of us!!! So, quick thinker that I am, I flash a peace sign and yell, “You Rule, Man!” Again original, don’t you think? Then Al completely surprises me by throwing his arms open to hug me and yells, “I’ll miss you!” All it took was those three little words to turn me into a spineless jellyfish worthless quivering hunk of slime!?! I expected Alan Fundt to jump out and say that I was on Candid Camera! I didn’t know what to do! So, I hugged him back -- hard. This was a full body hug from my idol! My knees went weak. I just kept saying to myself, “Don’t faint, don’t throw up, don’t do anything stupid!” Two out of three usually ain’t bad, except I dared to be stupid over the other two options. In retrospect, fainting or throwing up would have been slightly less embarrassing. So, I’m hugging him and my cheek is in his wonderful, curly hair. I think I said, once again, that I’d been a huge fan of his for a very long time. Gosh, don’t quote me on this. After the hug was over, it was all I could do not to beg Al to take me with him (that way he wouldn’t miss me)! I didn’t want to put him in the position to either point and laugh or politely decline. I didn’t know what I would do if he actually said yes! (It could happen! Yeah, right...) So, I just walked away waving instead. Can you BELIEVE it??? Me neither. I’m still kicking myself about this! And will until such time as I can reverse the laws of time and space, relive the moment, and DO IT RIGHT THIS TIME, for crying out loud! Al! If you ever see this, I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings! You were just too much man for me to take! |