It's all about my FAVE artist, baby!
Chapter 11: Kansas City concert review and photos
Touring With Scissors, September 22, 2000, Starlight Theater
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It's all about my FAVE artist, baby!Chapter 11: Kansas City concert review and photos Touring With Scissors, September 22, 2000, Starlight Theater |
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Kansas City: Rock, Roll 'n RAIN!Again, Fortune Smiled On Me!Well, at first I thought it was just dumb luck that I even got to go to this concert at all. Now I know that Fortune smiled on me from above! The weekend of Sept. 22, 2000, was my nephew’s birthday and I had arranged to visit my sister and her family in Missouri to attend the big birthday bash that was planned. I usually fly Delta and fly into STL and then make the 3-hour drive to Columbia. This time I flew Southworst (Southwest) into Kansas City. Well, if you know me, you know that there was no way I could have been in the same city as Weird Al and the guys (especially Steve) and NOT go to the concert… I truly thought I would be practical and miss this concert. I thought Beth would be mad that I would choose to spend 2 hours with Weird Al and not her. I thought that I had been to so many concerts, and planned to go to a lot more, that missing this one would be no big deal. I tried to convince myself that I would miss this concert and be OK with it. However, as it does in most matters, my heart overruled my head! I JUST HAD TO BE THERE! I did a pretty good job at convincing myself to miss the concert until the night before. So, at 11:30 Thursday evening, I started making the necessary arrangements. The problem was that I didn’t think I could afford to rent a car. My first thought was to post a message to the NG asking for a ride. I did this but the only reply I got was from Sue Kelleher warning me that there are some posers who might pretend to be an Al fan and who might want to do me harm. Point taken. Sue was just so right! I now had to come up with Plan B. So, next, I tried calling every airport shuttle service I could contact. This didn’t work out at all. Either the shuttle wouldn’t pick me up from the venue or the busses stopped running too early. Luckily, I found a great deal on a rental car! It turned out to be less expensive than 2 trips on the Tiger Express. So, I had all the transportation worked out. All I had to do was get from the airport to the venue and buy a ticket. Easier said than done. The map that Avis gave me really just sucked! It appeared to only have a third of the roads listed on it. It was very hard to follow. And, if you’ve read any of my other concert reviews, you’ll know that I’m directionally challenged! So, it took me several hours to find the Starlight Theater. Let me tell you, I drove through some extremely bad neighborhoods. Sometimes I drove through those neighborhoods several times. The one good thing about being lost was that I did have an Al-related moment. In the middle of the bad neighborhood, I ran into a retail district with strip malls and little shops. One of the strip malls was called Linwood Place. Well, it was Linwood and not Lynwood, but to me it was a sign from above. (Plus the fact that my middle name is Lyn. It's unusual to find Lyn spelled with only one 'n'!) I just knew I was destined to be at this concert! I pulled into the parking lot and took a picture of the sign. Someone later told me that Al’s Dad used to live in Kansas City. (Whether this is true or not, I don't know!) That was just one more confirmation that I was meant to be at this concert!
 So, I FINALLY get to the Starlight Theater! Finally! So, I went to the box office and it was closed. There was a sign that tickets were available at the administrative offices next to the venue so I wandered over there. The lady working there told me extra tickets would go on sale at 6:30. It was 4:30, so I had some time to kill. Top
Luckily, right next to the venue was the Kansas City Zoo. I thought that wandering around the zoo was a wonderful way to spend the afternoon. When I got there and walked up to the ticket booth, I was told that the zoo closed at 5:00. I asked how much the tickets were. When I found out they were only $6, I decided to go in anyway. There was an IMAX theater inside the zoo and the movies ran until after 6. The ticket lady was really nice and said if I bought an IMAX ticket, I could get into the zoo for free. So I did. That really was nice of her and I thanked her very much. So, I wandered around the zoo until the 5:00 IMAX movie about dolphins started. I did not see one single animal! It was dinnertime, so maybe they were eating. Not that I saw all that many exhibits! It’s hard to get the full impact of the zoo in 20 minutes! It was soooo hot! My sister told me it was going to be cool, so I dressed accordingly. I was sweating to death just walking from the venue to the zoo! Anyway, I wandered over to the IMAX theater and waited in line. Inside the theater lobby was a penny smooshing machine. I thought I’d smoosh a penny for Al because I know he collects them (just in case I saw him). The smooshed penny cost 51 cents – 2 quarters for the smooshing and a penny to smoosh. As it turned out, I didn’t have a penny. So, I tried to borrow a penny from the people in the lobby. Gosh, you’d think I was trying to borrow a million dollars by the looks I got! I tried to feebly explain that there was this penny smooshing machine and I wanted a smooshed penny. I was just digging myself in deeper and deeper. Everybody treated me like I was a homeless panhandler. Undeterred, it took me three tries before I got a penny – 1 RED CENT – from one of the people I asked. How embarrassing! OK, so that ordeal was over. Little did I know what was waiting for me! I put my two quarters and one ill-gotten penny into the machine. I saw the penny slide into the slot and get smooshed and then slide down the chute to where I could retrieve it, but it got stuck somewhere along the way. I gave it a few good bumps with my hip but it didn’t drop into the slot. Oh brother! What else could go wrong that night? Little did I know.... Well, the dolphin IMAX movie was visually breathtaking and very interesting! I was just blown away! Sometime during the show, it occurred to me that IMAX movies and Weird Al concerts sort of went together. I went to an IMAX movie before the Baltimore concert as well. After the movie was over. I debated whether to see the Michael Jordan IMAX. I really wanted to see it but also wanted to be there right at 6:30 when the box office opened. So, I wandered out of the zoo into the parking lot. That’s where I met Donny. I was cresting the hill between the zoo and the venue when I thought I saw Weird Al in the parking lot. The person I saw had long curly hair and a Hawaiian shirt on. Though I KNEW in my heart that Al wouldn’t hang out in the parking lot before the show, there was still the initial excitement that it could be him! I walked closer and I must have been staring because “Al” looked at me, smiled, and said, “Fooled you, didn’t I?” I said something like, "No. Yes. No...." He laughed. I introduced myself. The guy’s name was Donny. Donny, his girlfriend Angela, and a lot of their friends were tailgating before the show. Every person in that group was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and singing their heads off to the Weird Al songs that were blaring from a boom box. My kind of crowd, I must say! Angela had won front row tickets and backstage passes from a local radio station by writing and performing an original parody on the air. Donny wasn't a huge Al fan until they got the tickets and passes. That's when he decided to just go crazy with the whole thing! Al should be proud that Donny wanted to imitate him -- Donny is a real cutie! Woo woo!
 This was Donny and Angela's first Weird Al concert. They saw that I had my Weird Al photo album with me and asked to see the pictures. They were impressed that I had met all the band members and had gone to see so many shows. I told them to save all the praise for Weird Al, I was just his humble disciple! They laughed at that. Why do people laugh at that? I am being totally and completely serious! Well, 6:30 came and it was time for me to get a ticket. As I wandered to the box office, I asked a total stranger to take my picture in front of the entrance, just to prove I was really, truly, there. After that, I went up to the window and bought one single ticket which turned out to be in a pretty good location: center section just in front of the soundboard! Not bad for a last minute walk-up customer, I must say!
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So, I had my ticket and I was waiting in line to get into the venue. I was talking to anyone and everyone I could! People asked to see my photo album and I told them about the Weird Al odyssey that I was on. I met two older gentlemen, Ed and Tom, who had also won backstage passes and front row tickets. They were so cool! Ed said that he wanted to take his Weird Al CDs into work that day to listen to them but his kids had them all! What a hoot! As it turns out, I would see Ed and Tom again later that evening. They turned out to be both Weird Al fans and guardian angels! I also talked to a man and his family who had showed up for the concert the previous Friday! They quickly knew something was wrong because all the concertgoers were in gowns and tuxedos! That night was symphony night when all the beautiful people gather. Can you imagine that, a FORMAL Weird Al concert!?! Me neither! They finally let us into the venue. Let me tell you, it was the biggest venue in which I ever saw Al perform! It seats almost 8,000 people and the place was practically sold out. Every other concert I had been to was small -- no more than 2,000 people tops. I was so glad to see that Al could fill such a large venue! I get to my seats to find that my view was going to be good though I was probably too far away to take really good photos. It was one of the few concerts where I was far back enough to see the whole stage in one glance (I am NOT complaining, here!). I usually am so close that I can't see the whole stage at once! The venue was open air and the tickets said RAIN OR SHINE! Little did I know that a squall line of severe thunderstorms was heading right toward us!
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Well, 8:00 comes and goes and we're all waiting for the show to start. But, before Al and the guys can grace us with their gifts of music and laughs, it starts raining, then thundering, then hailing! At first, it was just a sprinkle. No problemo!
 The rains came quickly and heavily! I had never been outside in such a storm before. I didn't dare leave my seat for the car because there were signs all over that said Absolutely No Re-Entering The Theater! I had come this far, I wasn't going to leave and not be allowed back inside.
 I decided I wouldn't leave until: 1) the concert was officially canceled, or 2) I started bleeding out the eyeballs. Luckily, neither of these things happened! I am scared of thunder when I am inside a building, so waiting out the storm was no fun for me. I just put my photo album and my camera inside my shirt, bent over to put my head in my lap and covered my head with my arms. Then it started hailing. Oh my, what else could go wrong this evening? Then the thought occurred to me that this is the mid-west and that tornadoes weren't all that uncommon. Just what I needed to put my jangled nerves even more on edge! I just curled up tighter than ever. I jumped and screamed whenever the thunder crashed and prayed for it to be over soon. The people sitting in front of me took pity on me when it started hailing and gave me an extra umbrella to use. They scared the heck out of me when one of them tapped me on the shoulder. Again, I screamed and jumped! That's when uncurled from my fetal position to see what was happening. I was grateful for the use of the umbrella. I was soaked, but at least I wasn't getting pelted to death any more!
 Soon, the thunder and hail stopped but the rain didn't. Most of the fans had crowded underneath the covered walkways surrounding the venue. But, a lot of fans were doing various interpretive rain dances and just basically goofing off in the rain! I decided to go down to the front row to see how Donny and Angela were doing. When I got there, I saw that they were totally soaked but in good spirits! We hung out for a while huddled under my borrowed umbrella giggling and talking. The venue sloped downward toward the front rows. While I was there, the standing water was over my shoes. On top of that was a current of water that was sloshing down the incline. It was then that I noticed what a potentially dangerous situation everyone was in: completely submerged in the temporary lake was a 5-inch round tangle of electrical cords that connected the stage to the soundboard. I wondered briefly how many volts and amps were running through those cables!?! My fear of electrocution was short-lived. Steve came out on stage to see what was happening and to smoke a cigarette. I waved and smiled! Steve smiled and waved back! Talk about an electrifying situation!?! I wondered if he recognized me from last week's Valdosta concert. I bet not. I looked like a drowned rat -- my clothes were like wearable sponges and my hair was plastered to my face and neck! Mongo and a few other members of the road crew came out to survey the situation. I went up to the front row to talk to some friends during the rain delay. Mongo was standing on the stage and I started jumping up and down chanting "WE WON'T LEAVE! WE WON'T LEAVE!" Mongo said, "Well, ok. See ya!" I laughed. He's just soooo cool! I just wanted them to know, as official spokesperson for the other 7,999 concertgoers, that we were there for the duration. The show must go on and all that.... Soon after that, I wandered back to my seat. Walking up the incline was tough! Every time I put my foot down, I created a wake! Water splashed up to my knees as if my toes were the prow of a ship. The only thing missing was a group of frolicking dolphins leading the way! Then they started lowering the lights and closing the stage area. Until that time, I had no doubt that Al and the guys would perform for us that night. The "stage door" was like a giant garage door that they lowered to keep the stage from getting soaked. At this point, I just knew that all my efforts had been in vain! However, I wasn't going to leave until an official announcement was made.
  Finally, after more than 45 minutes of waiting in the rain, it was announced that the show would go on after it was confirmed that the squall line was well past the venue. And, almost as an afterthought, they said we could go to our cars and wait. We would be let back in. Couldn't you have mentioned that a little earlier??? Like before the hail started? Oh well, at least the worst of it was over. When they started raising the stage door and the lights, a HUGE roar came up from the crowd! We were actually going to see Weird Al that night! Woo woo!
Well, after the stage was cleaned up and dried, Al, Bermuda, Jim, Steve, and Rubén appeared on stage to perform! Al came straight out and started singing Gump. Al was in full voice that night, but the set list was shortened. Bedrock Anthem and Like A Surgeon were left out most likely due to the delayed starting time. Besides, could you imagine Al jumping around in his soaking wet Fred Flintstone costume? I bet that thing would weigh a ton! If an opening act was scheduled, he or she did not perform that evening.
 After Gump, instead of going directly into Eddie Vedder, Al said, "Hello Kansas City! YOU'RE ALL CRAZY!" To this, the crowd agreed, and very loudly I might add!
 Let me take this opportunity to give MAD PROPS to the Kansas City crowd! If you've read my other concert reviews, I always complain about the crowd being way too sedate. Not this evening! Practically the entire front section was standing, dancing, waving their arms, and singing along. They even ignored venue security when they told the crowd to sit down. I just love a little civil disobedience every once in a while, don't you?
 I have one MAJOR exception to the great crowd -- the girl sitting next to me. She was mad as a wet hen (pardon the pun)! She didn't want to be there and announced that fact to everybody within the sound of her voice! She was cold, wet, and pissed! I was hoping that music would soothe the savage beast. Eventually it did!
 It was between the Valdosta concert and the Kansas City concert that there was this blistering argument on AMWA debating whether Weird Al was too sexual in his shows. The major topic focused on Al's alleged licking of the mic stand during Germs. I finally saw the infamous "mic stand lick" at this concert. In fact, I was looking for it so I could see what all the fuss was about.... It was a hoot! No complaints from me! Even the wet hen next to me laughed at that, and she didn't laugh at much, let me tell you!
 Let's hear it for those bright yellow jumpsuits! It never entirely stopped raining. It mostly drizzled the whole night with the occasional 5-minute hard rain. I was drenched to the bone and the only way to keep warm was to dance my head off! So I did!
 As I said, I could see the entire stage at one glance, so I took turns watching each band member during each song. I spent a little more time watching Bermuda this concert. Hey, it's a rare occurrence when I can actually see his face from behind those drums!
 I think the biggest crowd reaction of the night came when 60% Chance of Rain played! The crowd roared and cheered. A large group of guys in the front rows stood up and shook their heads like dogs trying to dry off! I could see the water splattering around. It was cool. Even the wet hen next to me liked this part. She asked her boyfriend if Al put this video in just for the concert. LOL! I said that it was a part of every show.
 The concert was going along just fine until Fat. It was then that things started going wrong, way wrong! That's when the technical problems started. During Fat, the sound system started blinking in and out. Then the spotlights went out entirely and never came back on! The only lights were on the stage. Al and the guys were just black figures moving in a sea of colored lights.
 Al and the guys kept performing even though nobody past the 5th row could see them at all and we could only sporadically hear them. The sound came back on just long enough for Al to introduce each band member. With no spotlights, I couldn't see any of them. That didn't stop me from yelling, screaming and cheering for Jim, Steve, Rubén, and Bermuda. No way that would ever happen!
 Al and the guys left the stage after Fat. I just knew that the encore would be cancelled! With no spotlight and a shaky sound system, I wouldn't have faulted Al if he just called the whole thing off! To my surprise, Rubén came out in his Star Wars costume and pumped up the crowd. We didn't need too much pumping up, if you know what I mean! We all just went completely NUTS when Al reappeared on the stage! Then, technically speaking, things just went to hell in a hand basket!
 The sound was blinking in and out during The Saga Begins and Yoda. And, the spotlights had given out completely during sometime during Fat. But the band played on.... Then, something just gave up and ALL the lights on the stage went out! Al and the guys were chanting in the absolute dark! The only lights I could see were the flashlights the stage crew was holding. They shined their lights on the ground so Al, Bermuda, Steve, Jim, and Rubén wouldn't fall and break their necks! I love the The Yoda Chant, but it just isn't as funny without seeing the accompanying moves. I suspect a lot of its hilarious impact was lost on those first-time concertgoers! Dark or no dark, lights or no lights, I was just glad that Al and the guys stuck it out to the bitter end! They are such troopers! Then it was over.... After the concert, I went to see if there was going to be an informal meet and greet. There wasn't. The backstage area was enclosed in a tall fence topped with barbed wire. (Is that to keep the fans out or the talent in?????) ;) So, I gave up and walked very slowly to the car. My clothes weighed about a ton. I was pretty tired once I hauled my soaking wet arse the entire way to the car! Once I got there, I had to find a way to get out of these heavy, heavy clothes! It was a rental car, so I couldn't risk soaking the front seat. Plus, I had a 3-hour drive ahead of me! The venue was closed and most of the people had left. There wasn't a car within 100 yards of me! So, I got out some dry clothes and started to change clothes in the parking lot! I had gotten my shirt changed when Ed and Tom appeared. They had just been backstage and they told me they had a great, great time! They would have gladly given Al my smooshed penny for me! Ed, Tom, and I chatted for a while about the concert and going backstage. Then, I asked them for directions back to the highway. I told them I had no blinkin' idea how I got there and even less of an idea how to get to Columbia! Ed was so nice! He said he'd drive me to the highway then get off at the first exit after I was on my way. What a guy! Ed's kind offer of leading me to the highway totally ruined my plans to change clothes. So, I jumped in the car and followed them to the highway. I just knew I was soaking the car seat, so I started changing my pants while I was driving. Let me tell you, that's no easy feat! I had gotten my wet jeans off just as we got on I-70. I stopped changing clothes long enough to flash my lights in thanks to Ed for helping me out. Then the thought occurred to me that I would never in a bazillion years be able to explain to a police officer why I was half-naked. I got a mental picture of myself sputtering to a cop, "Weird Al, lost of rain, no pants...." You get the idea. I got myself laughing so hard that I had to pull over. I was a danger to myself and others right at that moment! That's when I got completely dressed and then continued on my way to Columbia. My heartfelt thanks to Al, Bermuda, Steve, Jim, and Rubén for not packing up and going home! Sure there were technical problems, but I feel tremendously LUCKY that 1) the concert wasn't CANCELLED! 2) NOBODY got hurt! and 3) Al and the guys ROCKED despite the lousy weather! |