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Chapter 13: Delhi, NY, concert review and photos

Touring With Scissors, October 28, 2000, State University of New York at Delhi

• The Trip To Delhi
• A Huge Shock! (Guardian Angel #2)
• I Was Worried
• Just Before The Concert
• The Concert
• After The Concert
• Way After The Concert
• The Next Day

The trip to Delhi was uneventful, but only because Denise and Angela lead the way. We went through so many small, quaint little towns on the sides of the twistiest, windiest "highway”I have ever driven. THANK YOU to Denise and Angela for leading us to Delhi, thus saving Amy and me the frustration and wasted time of getting irretrievably lost!

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A Huge Shock! (Guardian Angel #2)

It was sometime during this drive that Amy turned to me and asked, Tara Lyn, if I tell you something, do you promise not to freak out?” I said, "Yes.” The Amy told me she left our tickets to the afternoon Morristown show at my house. I did not freak out, but I urged Amy to call the ticket office and see if anything could be done. Amy called and she spoke to our Guardian Angel #2: Doug.

Anyone who went to the Morristown show and had ticket problems will know what a saint Doug is. He remembered talking to Amy previously about buying tickets and was very glad to help us. The only problem was that Amy and I were driving through the Catskills and every time we went into a valley, we lost our cell phone connection. We had only given Doug the basic info: that we lost out tickets and who we were when we got cut off. We kept trying to call him again. When we finally were able to make it through, the ticket office had closed. All we could do was hope that Doug followed through on finding our tickets.

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I Was Worried....

The Delhi concert was general admission, so Angela, Denise, Amy, and I planned to camp out so we could get the best seats possible. (FRONT ROW, baby!) I figured that since the concert was at a college, people had started camping out the night before.

I was also worried about the weather. The forecast called for a rainy, cloudy, cold day. I just knew we were going to be miserably cold all day!

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A Huge Relief

I was wrong about the crowd and the weather! When we arrived at Delhi around 12:30, the only people in line were the Yellen family. So, we were 4th through 8th in line. Not bad at all! And, it turned out to be a sunny, though not quite warm day.

Luckily, we were able to hang out in the lobby to the gym most of the day. It was warm and there were bathrooms and benches to sit on. We also were able to peek into the gym and watch the road crew set up the stage. Mongo and many of the other crewmembers that we all knew by sight were walking past us saying hello and sometimes stopping to chat for a few minutes.

Amy has always thought Mongo was just the coolest, so the next time he walked by she got his autograph and we all took several photos of us with him! THANKS Mongo for being soooo cool!

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Killing Time Before The Concert

We mostly read, talked, and listened to music while we waited inside the gym lobby. But, about 3:00, we were kicked out of the lobby and had to wait outside until the concert started.

We took turns waiting in line while others took walks, etc. The student entertainment committee made these cool posters to advertise Al’s concert.

I had to find a store and buy film, so I took a drive around the hamlet of Delhi, NY. To say that Delhi is a small town and that there was nothing to do is an understatement! As far as I could tell, the only place to shop was a totally pathetic Ames department store. The "downtown”was just as sleepy as the "outskirts.” In fact, it was hard to tell where the downtown ended and the outskirts began. I'm not kidding.

And, as it turned out, we were staying at the ONLY motel in Delhi!

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Again I Was Worried....

Well, 4:00 and 5:00 came and went and it was still only the Yellen family and the four of us in line. Was there going to be a really low turnout for this concert? I sure hoped not! I at least knew that I was saving space in line for Edie, Brenna, and one friend. Edie contacted me through the concert tracker. She said that she and her friends, whom she referred to collectively as "Three Fat Chicks,”would meet us at the show! They had never seen Weird Al perform before! It's my mission to rid the world of Weird Al newbies! Heh, heh, heh!

The first fans to join us in line were Heather, Jennifer, and DoughBoy (I can't for the life of me remember his real name, sorry!). DoughBoy got his name because he laughs EXACTLY like the Pillsbury DoughBoy. Jennifer had just (meaning within the past hour) gotten her tongue pierced. She showed off her new body stud to us all.

Heather asked me if Amy was my daughter! I exclaimed, “Do I look old enough to have a 32-year-old daughter?!?” She apologized and said that she thought Amy was 18. I replied, “Do I look old enough to have an 18-year-old daughter?!?” Then I laughed to show there were no hard feelings. But seriously, do I look that old? I sure don’t think so at all.

Ok, so now there were all of 11 people in line. Still not good! I began to wonder if the concert was going to be cancelled. People finally started to gather in line about 5:45. Whew, it looked like it was going to be a substantial crowd after all!

Well, the venue employees teased the heck out of us: at 6:00, they let us in the building, but did not allow us into the gym to sit down. When they threw open the doors, a big cheer rose from the crowd – we were all freezing and wanted to get where it was warm. Only about the first 50 people actually could cram themselves into the lobby, the rest had to wait outside in the cold! Luckily, we were four of those lucky 50!

We were going to be let into the gym to scramble for seats at 7:00. At 6:50, Edie and her friends showed up. Let’s just say there was a LOT of grumbling when they arrived and I invited them to the front of the line with me!

At 7:00, the race to the front row began. It was all very civil. I was surprised when the Yellen family didn’t take the front row center seats. The got front row, but they positioned themselves in front of where Steve would perform. Amy, Angela, Denise, and I got the first four front row seats on the left side of the aisle. It was Angela on the aisle, me next, then Amy and Denise.

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Just Before The Concert

So after the 5-nanosecond scramble to our seats, we waited. And waited. The concert didn’t start for another hour. So we took tons of pictures and got to know the Al fans who were sitting closest to us. Luckily, the place started to fill up!

The “venue”was actually a basketball court and bleachers. The stage took up one half of the court, with chairs filling up the floor space between the stage and the bleachers. I looked around and saw that, yes, the floor seats and bleachers were filling up quite nicely! My fears of a poor turnout were, as usual, unfounded.

While waiting for the concert, we did have close encounters of the Bermuda and Steve Jay kind! Steve came out from the “backstage”area (really just a locker room, I’d bet!) and sat down behind the stage to chill before the concert. I waved and he smiled and waved back! Then Bermuda came out to join him. Again with the smiling and waving. I’m not sure if Steve recognized me, but I know that Bermuda did! Woo woo! They chilled there until it was time to perform!

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The Concert

This concert was just soooo fun! Al and the guys certainly had the end-of-tour giggles! I’ve never seen them all cut loose on stage like they did at Delhi.

There was a small glitch in the video just prior to the concert. The video for the Weird Al Show Theme was transposed. I was looking at it thinking, "This doesn't look like what I remember.” Then Angela said that the video was backwards. D'OH! Of course!!!! The glitch became obvious when the words 'The Weird Al Show' came up. Luckily, I was able to take a picture of the screen. Sort of a low-tech screen capture, know what I mean?

Maybe this was a sign of the goofiness to come, but I didn't make the connection!

Once again, Al and the guys performed the entire set list. Al struts on stage and starts belting out Gump.

Then came Polka Power which always a crowd pleaser. Tonight's rendition had a little extra-added bonus. I don't know if it was a blooper, bleeper, or a big practical joke, but Al really had mic problems during this song. Al was merrily singing and accordion-ing away, as he is wont to do, when his mic starts to sink. To accommodate the mic, he kept bending his knees to lower himself, then he was on one knee, then he was on both knees doing a post-Eat It backbend with the accordion still strapped on. I couldn't believe nobody had come out to help him. This was a slow sink, so we're talking 2-3 minutes of Al contorting himself into unnatural positions just to keep the music going!

I was so busy watching Al, that I have no idea if Jim, Steve, or Ruben knew what was going on. Finally, Mongo ran out on stage and raised the mic slowly, so Al could continue singing, playing the accordion, and stand up at the same time. Al never missed a beat, a note, or a word! Way to go, Al! What a trooper!

Then came Jon’s drum solo! Amy, Angela, Denise, and I took it upon ourselves to scream and holler our heads off after the first note. Of course, other fans followed suit and soon almost all of us were cheering! Gotta give props to the drummer, that's for sure!

I was really waiting for The Night Santa Went Crazy so I could see Edie and her friends' reaction to the fake snow. They loved it! They totally stopped watching the concert and just turned their faces up toward the ceiling. Classic! To quote Weird Al, "I like this part!”

I never sat to someone who knew the concert better than I did, but this night it happened. Angela knew every word and move, and wasn't embarrassed to sing out loud and dance her head off! Way to go, Angela! She even taught me a few new moves during Dare To Be Stupid! that I added to my concert repertoire. She was the first one who performed the head bobs right along with Al. Pretty soon, we were both head bangin' with Al! We both pointed at Jim at the appropriate times. And, we both did all the spitting on a fish, Charmin squeezing, barking up a tree moves right along with Al!

When the video clip that introduced Pentiums came on, both Angela and I screamed, "YES HE CAN!”when we were asked, "Can Al do this?” I'm sure he was speaking rhetorically; we all know there's nothing Al can't do!

Pentiums was fun that night because when Al came to our side of the stage, he was only about 4 feet from us. Talk about up close and personal! Plus, the stage was only about 5 feet high, so we had a really great view. He pumped his fist at the four us at the beginning of the song. Angela and I were just pumping our fists back at him as hard as we could!!!! The stage was set up so he couldn't pass by the equipment when he crossed over to our side of the stage, so he was forced to stop right in front of us every time. Boy, did we love that!

Then came Germs! OH MY! My hands get all shaky just thinking about it! First of all, there was the infamous mic lick! That always makes me squeal and giggle, and the rest of the audience loved it too! Then, during Al's famous slither across the stage, he slithered straight toward Amy and me. We were just spellbound! He was singing and slithering and just basically oozing sex from every pore! We were mesmerized! We locked eyes with Al and I'm KNOW I didn't blink the whole time! I didn't want to miss a second of it. Amy and I leaned in toward each other and we just sort of put our heads together and stared! I don't know about Amy, but I still sang all the words during this time. I think Amy and I were propping each other up so neither of us slid onto the floor! How embarrassing would that have been? Anyway, I bet Amy and I just looked goofy staring at Al with, no doubt, the most star-struck expressions on our faces! Neither of us spoiled the moment by taking a picture, but I know neither of us will forget a single detail of those precious few moments!

Oh My GAWD! I got the boxers AGAIN at Delhi! That's two consecutive nights! The fates were sure smiling on me! I still don't know what I did to deserve such luck.

Al started singing and then Mongo accompanied him out into the audience where he gave out two scarves to two very lucky girls. When he came back onstage, Al crossed the stage past the mic stand and stopped right in front of us! FLASHBACK TO VERONA!!! The same reaction: shaking, smiling, flushed gratefulness with a little bit of "twice in a row????”wonderment thrown in! THANK YOU again, Al!

It was during One More Minute when the true goofiness began! Al was excited that he finally fulfilled his lifelong ambition of performing on a basketball court! Thanks Al for sharing such a private moment with us! Poor Rubén never gets a break! And, pardon the pun, tonight he got it with both barrels! When Al shot him, it wasn't just once or twice, it was at least 5 times. Then, I were surprised when Mongo pulled out his own gun and got in a few shots. But what really, truly surprised me was when Bermuda capped him a couple of times! I have never heard of Berm getting in the act like that! Too funny.

The goofiness didn't stop after the song was over. Shots rang out again and again. Rubén staggered down from his riser and died a theatrical death right in front of Steve. Steve leaned over as if to offer help, but then he put his foot on Rubén's corpse as if it Rubén was large prey that Steve just felled! It was funny and I was laughing as hard as I've ever laughed at an Al concert. Then, just before Rubén miraculously came back from the dead, I yelled, "Somebody SAVE Rubén!” Apparently, it worked. LOL!

Things seemed to simmer down during the medley! Seemed to, mind you. Al and the guys lulled us into a false sense of security by performing as usual until it was time for Grapefruit Diet. When Al was strutting across the stage swinging his arms like he does during the song, he pegged Steve right square in the forehead with his mic! The sharp pop sound of mic meeting forehead was broadcast all over the venue! From the sound if it, it was quite a blow. Al laughed and Steve looked totally surprised by what was obviously a 'pre-meditated attack' on Al's part. Al jerked back as if in surprise then rubbed Steve on the forehead with his free hand. That seemed to end the altercation. Seemed to, mind you. Guys, lets act like adults here. If you have personal problems, don't take it out on each other on stage. Work it out in private like gentlemen! LOL!

But, Steve just wouldn't let it go! He must have just been seething between the end of the Medley and the beginning of Nirvana! He used that time wisely to plan his retribution against poor unsuspecting Al! Again, things seemed to start our normally enough. Seemed to, mind you. Al ran across the stage, mic stand in hand, screaming unintelligibly, when Steve body slammed him! This was not a little bump. No wild and crazy mosher ever collided as hard! Al stumbled a little but finally regained his footing, still singing and never missing a beat. However, Al was not going to let Steve get away with that. Al body-checked him as well as any pro hockey player I've ever seen! That ended all my thoughts of Al being a pacifist! Open warfare broke out on stage! Al escaped for a moment by crossing over to Jim's side of the stage -- right in front of us. Steve stealthily followed behind and bumped Al again, right into Jim! Poor Jim was unintentionally dragged into the fight. Soon enough, Al was being bumped between Steve and Jim like those guys in the dance club on Saturday Night Live. How long would the carnage go on??? Well, at least until the song ended. It ended when Al was bumped and stepped on Jim's foot pedal thingy. (Just what the heck is that thing called?) It sure looked painful because Al was barefoot. Al jumped off the foot pedal thingy and went back to center stage. I'm sure that this time when he collapsed on stage, it wasn't theatrics, it was exhaustion! There was quite a tussle on stage that night!

Al and the guys managed to control their outright hostility toward each other during the rest of the concert. Amish Paradise was next and once again, Al 'turned the other cheek' right in front of us. That's my second favorite part of the song and it always gets a laugh out of the crowd! My favorite part is when Amish Al sings, "And my homies agree I really look good in black. Fool!”and Steve gives him a smile and a big thumbs up or an OK sign. I love that!

There was no bumping during Fat. Question: If Al fell down in the Fat costume, would he be able to get back up? I wonder. Al and Steve acted as if they made up when Al kept telling Steve that he was fat, fat, really, really fat! Steve was smiling in agreement!

At the end of Fat, Al introduced each band member. When Al introduced Steve, I jumped up screaming and clapping. Steve definitely saw me and smiled. Woo woo! I also gave the same mad props to Bermuda but I couldn't see him and I'm sure he did not see me. Bummer.

Darth Rubén came out to pump up the crowd. We didn't need much pumping up that night, let me tell you. Then Al came on stage singing Saga. I had a couple of "Al Moments”during Saga. Twice Al looked right at me. That was really nice.

Yoda was fun as usual but I wanted to watch Edie and her friends watch the Yoda Chant for the first time. They enjoyed it even more than the fake snow! It is just so much fun seeing people at their first Weird Al concert. It's like seeing the whole thing from a new perspective!

Then the concert ended. And, I'm both exhilarated and sad at the same time. I remember thinking that there were so few concerts left in the tour. As the concert tour winded down, each concert seemed shorter and shorter and shorter, nevermind that each time Al and the guys played the complete set list.

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After The Concert

Before we left, I made sure to see how Edie and her friends liked the concert. They LOVED it! Of that I had no doubt. After we made our good-byes, Amy, Angela, Denise, and I got ready to leave. As we walked past the stage to the door, Steve came out wearing a concert jersey. When people asked him for his autograph, he asked them for theirs! He asked the fans to sign his shirt. I was just struck by how thoughtful that was of him! I was one of the first to sign it, so I was able to put my name right above his photo on the shirt. I made sure to put a lot of hearts around my name. While I was singing his chest, Steve said, "Oooh, that tickles!” Oh my! I just melted! But, Steve's probably used to that from me by now!

I was on my way out the door when I heard a male voice calling my name. Surprised, I turned around to see Bermuda. I gave him a big hug and said hello. He wanted to apologize for rushing off the night before in Verona. I told him I was just so happy that he came out to say hello at all that I didn't mind that he had to leave. I totally understand he has a busy schedule. Anyway, we chatted for a few more minutes and got his autograph on my Binge and Purge CD. He signed it, "To Tara Lyn, With Love, Jon Schwartz.” Jon even spelled my name correctly without asking how it was spelled. I was truly impressed with that. My name is deceptively difficult to spell it seems. Jon said he didn't sign it as 'Bermuda' because when the CD was created, he hadn't yet received his nickname. I did not know that. That surprised me because the band name on the list of songs is "The Bermuda Schwartz Project.” The things you learn.

I think nicknames that stick are the greatest. The only nickname I ever had that stuck was "Space Cadet.” Of course, I hated it when people called me that! I have since grown out of that nickname. No, really! I mean it.

While Jon and I were chatting, Jim came by and I said hello to him. Jon introduced me to Jim and Jim said that he remembered me from the Valdosta concert! To me that was just a big, big thrill. I never intended to get to know the band and I am totally surprised that it happened. I am totally shocked and pleased that they began to recognize me and know my name. Who woulda thunk it?

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Way After The Concert

Angela and Denise had planned to drive directly to Morristown that night. Instead, Amy and I convinced them to stay with us in our hotel. It was soooo much fun. It was a spend the night party after our girls' night out! This is how small town Delhi is: when we arrived at the hotel at about 10:30 PM, the front desk had closed. There was a note on the front door telling us that our room was ready and waiting for us with the door unlocked! So, we put our stuff away and went to forage for food. We were very lucky to find an open restaurant. We walked in to a Pizza Hut about 5 minutes before closing and were able to get take out pizza. We went back to our room and Angela and Denise introduced Amy and me to Moxy Fruvous! Talk about a funny, talented band! They were as rabid Fru-heads as Amy and I were rabid Al fans! We had a lot of fun eating pizza, chatting, and listening to great new music.

One of the first things we did was get a picture of me with my 2 pair of boxer shorts! The top pair was from that night and the bottom pair was from Verona. The Verona boxers are gold glitter lame with a small checkered pattern on them. The Delhi boxers are solid gold glitter lame. Angela was making fun of me because at the beginning of the tour, the boxers were silk and mine are polyester. Let me tell you, I don't mind one teeny bit!

When it was time to go to bed, we tried to make it so no one had to sleep on the floor. We pushed the 2 single beds together to make one large bed. As it turned out, there was really only room for 3 of us, so Angela volunteered to sleep on the floor.

I slept in the middle between Denise and Amy. I thought for sure that I'd be able to stay warm that way. But alas, I woke up in the morning freezing because Amy had stolen the comforter and Denise had stolen the blanket and I had nothing covering me. Oh well, sometimes you just can't win.

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The Next Day

We woke up and got ready for the 4-hour drive to Morristown. When we went to check out, the woman at the counter told us that the Delhi student body voted on who would perform the night before. Weird Al beat out Carrot Top! Carrot Top apparently had played there consistently over the past few years but this year, Al beat him out! Way to go, Al! There were pictures on the wall of all the famous people who had stayed at the hotel. There were pictures of Carrot Top and Angry Salad and then many, many bands I had never heard of. But, they all took a moment to autograph a photo for the Delhi Wall of Fame. Gotta respect that!