You are of the elite few who have been invited to the 2009 Cottage Weekend! Congrats to you on your good fortune, and our apologies to you for any trauma this event may cause. This gathering is not for the weak of heart, nor the simple of mind -- it is for adventurers, for slackers and for hooligans! If you feel you may not be able to live up to any of those titles, then turn back now. For those who feel they have what it takes to thrive in such an environment (useful items include: quick wit, sarcasm, high drinking tolerance, and wicked sense of humour), then venture forth!
To obtain the information you need to attend the 2009 Cottage Weekend, you must brave the perils of the internet, becomes versed in many useless forms of lore, and bear with my puns, humour and poor webpage building skills. If you can survive those hurdles, your adventurer's spirit shall be rewarded with enlightenment in the ways of Cottageishness!