Could you let down your hair and be transparent for awhile Just a little while to see if you’re human after all Honesty is a hard attribute to find when we all want to seem like We got it all figured out Let me be the first to say that I don’t have a clue I don’t have all the answers Ain’t going to pretend like I do Just trying to find my way Trying to find my way the best I know how Well, I haven’t got it all figured out quite yet But even if it takes my whole life to get to where I need to be If I should fall to the bottom of the end I’ll be one step back to you - Trying - Lifehouse Zidane Tribal awoke suddenly, breath sharp, chest rising and falling with his gasps. And then he saw where he was and it was where he was supposed to be. It was just a dream. Just a dream… He laid back down, lips parted as he urged his heart to slow. Everything was fine. Everything was normal. He turned his head along his pillow and looked out between the misty curtains hanging around his bed to the soft moonlight climbing in through his window. It had been a warm night and he had swung the windows open to allow that warm air into his bedchamber. He was needing it now too, he decided, after that horrid dream, full of blood and… He closed his eyes. Lost chances… He should tell her. He wanted to, so badly, to let her know that he had come back for her. Not her alone, of course, but she had been his main reason, his main reason to wake up every morning. Just to see her, just to gaze into her eyes, forever and a day. I’ll tell her now. And that almost made him rise from his bed. Perhaps sleep still held him in her grasp because the things he was thinking about... Absurd was the only word that came to his mind. No. Stupid also came to mind. Foolish. Crazy. Thoughtless. Honest... And besides…she was asleep, no doubt. He would just be waking her up to tell her…to tell her what? That he was deeply in love with her, that she ruled his dreams, had done so since they had first met in that Royal Hallway so long ago…and he would wake up the next morning knowing he regretted what he had done because it would change their friendship. It would change it somehow, for better or worse but he didn’t want to sacrifice what he had. He continued to gaze at the moonlight, his room a dreamy blue from the night. The candles had long since gone out, he guessed it was passed midnight. And for some reason he suddenly remembered a copper sunset, a sunset into which she had flown, tears shimmering in her eyes. The last sunset with her, that had ended mournfully. A strange stinging in his nose caused him to blink at himself. How strange, that the tears she had withheld had been for him. He never thought she would have cared for him. I’m telling her now. I’m telling her now because I won’t be able to sleep until she knows. The dreams won’t stop until she knows… He sat up in bed again, shoving the covers aside and he stood, bare feet padding across the carpeted floors. He wore his usual white shirt and loose dark pants. His tail swished behind him as he stepped toward his door, hand lifting to the elegant doorknob. Wish me luck… Outside his room the hallways were dark save for the candles standing upon large candelabras bordering the path. Steiner’s room was all the way on the other side of the castle, not too far from Beatrix’s. He wouldn’t have to worry about him, he hoped. No matter how much closer he and Steiner had gotten on their journey he doubted Steiner would be happy with him visiting the Princess as she slept. Would Dagger be happy with him waking her? It almost made him pause. No. Don’t stop. Just walk. Once you get there, there won’t be any turning back. Which was really the only way for him to deal with this. Spontaneously. Because if he paused for a moment he would be back on his way to his room. And he didn’t want to be there. He wound up the staircase, knowing her room was close to the top. She had had balconies and turrets added to the castle after it had been almost demolished. And it had been Beatrix who had told him that she had gone to those balconies every day to sing her song. In hopes that it would bring him back. She loved him, this he knew. But did she love him the same way she loved, say, Vivi? He reached the top of the staircase and looked down that hallway. All these rooms, empty. The castle was too big for her. And her room, at the end of the hall, looked so lonely all by itself. But there were lights on inside. He swallowed quite audibly, tail twitching. Goosebumps suddenly rose on his bare arms, the fur on his tail also standing. Oh, just be a man already. He walked the length of the hallway, reaching her bedroom. And his legs almost turned his body back around. But he forced himself to stand where he was, forced his heart to stop beating so loudly for fear that if she did sleep she would hear just how fast it was racing. He lifted his hands, placing them against the cool metal of the door. “Dagger.” He said, calling out in barely more than a whisper. And he closed one of his hands to knock. Garnet Til Alexandros gazed at the intricate designs of the ceiling of her room. It was so cold in her room. Perhaps it was the night. Or perhaps it was she herself who just felt the cold. She inhaled deeply, wishing she could sleep. At least a bit. Her body was so tired. She had been so tired since he had left, never sleeping more than two or three hours at night. And now. Now that he was back she couldn’t sleep at all. She couldn’t sleep knowing he was only a few rooms away. She wanted to talk to him, wanted to look at him as he spoke, wanted to…wanted to… Wanted to touch his tail, just once, and play with it while he spoke about where he had gone and what he had done. But she didn’t have the nerve. And she was terrified. Terrified that if she were to tell him what she thought, the things she wanted to do, that it would send him away. Because he wasn’t the type to settle with one person, wasn’t the type who seemed like he remained in relationships. He needed to be free of everything, free to flirt, free to love who he wanted. She just wanted it to be her he loved. A knock at the door caused her to lift her head and she was almost positive she had heard someone murmur her name a moment before the knock. She sat up, slipping her feet to the floor and she went to the door, turning the knob almost foolishly. Zidane stood outside, looking absolutely baffled. “Um…hi.” He said and he lifted a hand to scratch the back of his neck. “Hi…” she whispered in an exhalation, wide-eyed. There was a God! Zidane pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Um, yeah. I have no idea what I’m doing here.” He said, grimacing. “Come in.” Dagger invited him quickly, and she stepped back, holding the door open. Zidane glanced at her, a quick glance, before nodding once and stepping through the door. Pausing beside it as she closed the door quietly he continued to look at her and when she stood before him he didn’t feel ashamed and didn’t feel the need to look away. “Are you all right?” she asked tentatively. Zidane recoiled the slightest bit. “Me? I’m fine. Just thought I’d come here and maybe bug you for a while. I couldn’t sleep.” Dagger smiled slowly at him, a sweet smile. “I couldn’t sleep either.” She let him know. “And I could use the company.” She motioned toward her bed. And it was only then that Zidane noticed what she wore. After looking her up and down in a moment he ducked his head, closing his eyes, and went towards the bed, pausing before it. She wore a nightgown with straps, a simple modest piece. Modest…? He sighed deep inside. This was not why he had come here. He waited until she sat down on the bed before he also sat. And once he was seated he didn’t know what to say. What to do. “Tell me..?” she began to ask and then she broke off, lips parted. Zidane lifted his eyebrows, leaning toward her a bit. “Tell you..?” Dagger swallowed inaudibly and then began again. “Tell me about…what happened. What you were doing…while you weren’t here.” Zidane blinked at the question. “Oh. Um, sure.” He said and he rubbed his hands along his thighs nervously. “I…went back with Tantalus for a while. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, or where I was going. I just…” he shrugged. “I went back for Kuja, managed to get him out safe and we parted ways, basically. I think he changed, knowing that I had gone back for him…” he sounded confused at that but went to shrug it off. “I think, knowing that someone cared, even his enemy, changed him.” She smiled. “You change a lot of people, Zidane.” He grinned his impish grin at her and shrugged once more. “Afterwards was when I went with Tantalus. Just kinda got dragged back into something comfortable for a while. And it was comfortable for a while. But…there was something missing…” Now was the time. The time to tell her what had been missing. He looked at her slowly, to meet her eyes. And she was staring down at his tail, which had somehow settled across her lap. How could he not have noticed that? He lifted it away quickly, feeling a blush rise in his cheeks. “Sorry, it has a mind-“ But she lifted her hands to it, taking it with gentle fingers. “…of its own..” he finished, mouth the slightest bit dry. She looked at him quickly, fingers loosening. “May I?” she asked quietly, hesitantly. He smiled lopsidedly. “You don’t have to ask. It would be the same as me brushing your arm. Or your hair.” And when she looked at him with an expression he couldn’t quite figure out he held up his hands. “Not that I would…” She stared at him for another moment. A moment in which he decided that when he got back to his room he would surely hang himself. He looked away, frustrated at himself. Where was the Ladies Man when he needed him? This was bordering on pitiful. He became aware of a slight breath of air across his tail and he looked at her once more. She held his tail up to her lips and was blowing softly across it, lips parted. The hair on his tail was slowly standing again of its own accord. She was a vision. Beautiful as when they had first met and yet older. Wiser. Even more enchanting. He lifted his hand, wishing that for once he had some control of himself, and he closed his hand, rubbing knuckles across her cheek. She leaned into his hand, lips caressing his tail as she exhaled. “I wanted you to come back.” She whispered, eyebrows drawing together as she closed her eyes. “I was scared for you-“ “I was scared too.” He said, shifting closer to her. “I wasn’t ready and I was scared-“ “And I thought you had died, also. I thought you had died and when I thought that, I couldn’t breathe. It felt like my chest would burst and then clench, over and over.” She continued, suddenly speaking in a rush. She bowed her head against his hand, clutching his tail as if it were her lifeline. “I’m sorry.” He uttered, heartbroken. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that you felt this way. I didn’t know that…that…” and he stopped himself, merely staring at her as she exhaled shakily. “Don’t go away again, Zidane.” She said faintly. “Whatever you do, just don’t go anymore-“ Zidane gazed at her for one more moment. And then, resolving to do it, he leaned forward all the way and pressed his lips to hers, one gentle kiss that held all of his feelings behind it. She stiffened as his lips came into contact with hers, mind instantly going blank. And for that small eternity she allowed herself to breathe, to bask in his warmth. She released his tail, feeling it flick across her neck and she lifted her hands to his face, taking hold of it and not allowing him to back away. She wanted this and it was happening. At last. “Dagger…” he uttered against her lips, breaking free for the slightest instant. She pulled her head back, staring at him from up close. And she felt color flood her face. “You didn’t want that, did you.” She stated softly, moving to release him. “It was just to cheer me up, to stop me…from rambling…” “I’m in love with you.” He said in awe, as if she should have somehow known. “What?” she asked, tilting her head a bit in surprise. He blinked at her. “I’m in love with you.” He repeated. “I came here to tell you that. It’s been on my mind since…since I came back. Since I saw you again. For the whole time I was gone.” He shook his head, blond hair falling around his face. “This was why I came here. Tonight.” Dagger stared at him in utter disbelief. He gazed at her, wordlessly. Wanting…something. Wanting her to say something. Anything. Anything except continue this silence. Realization seemed to wash over her then, he saw it in her eyes, and she rose onto her knees, throwing her arms around his neck. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it…” she whispered in his ear, her body shaking for some odd reason. Relief, perhaps. Excitement. And she pulled back, looking down at him as she kneeled over him. He swallowed again, staring up into her dark eyes. Her hair fell loose around her shoulders and his hands were in it as he realized that he was also embracing her. The nightgown felt smooth under his arms and she felt…right, in his embrace. Perfect. She reached down, brushing her lips across his. Slowly at first, so new. She gazed at him as she did so, and for a split second he gazed back at her. Then his eyes closed as he responded, his arms tightening. I can’t believe this…is…happening… His lips parted the slightest bit and she felt his tongue, felt it warm against hers. Her heart skipped a beat as she played with it, with him. Her hands rose from his shoulders, reaching up into the nape of his neck and pulling on his hair to lift his head more. He exhaled against her, soft kisses slowly becoming more passionate, demanding more. And she wanted to give. She wanted to give everything to him, give freely. She lifted her hand up above her head, fingers straightening and she concentrated for the smallest second. The candles went out. Zidane became aware of the sudden darkness behind his closed eyelids and he pulled back, opening his eyes. “What-“ Dagger smiled at him, gently. “Vivi and Eiko taught me. The opposite of a Shadow Spell. It’s also a modification to a light spell.” Zidane inhaled, realizing his chest was rising and falling breathlessly. “Light…spell?” he echoed and he looked around as if suddenly realizing where he was. “I…I think we should stop…” he said and he seriously couldn’t believe he had just said that. Dagger sat back a bit, expression that of hurt. “What..?” Zidane nodded slowly. “I don’t think…we’re…I don’t think…” he blinked. “I just…came back and…and I-“ “I love you.” She whispered, the look on her face so full of truth that it made his chest tighten. Her eyes were wide, and she still trembled. “Why are you trembling?” he asked, his hands releasing her waist to grasp her arms. She looked down blankly for a moment. “I’m scared, still.” She answered softly. “I’m scared this is a dream and I’m scared I’ll wake up before…before…” Zidane waited for her to finish, frowning slightly. “Before we…” Before we? His eyes suddenly widened as he realized what she was getting at. And a part of him knew he should get up, politely thank her for her kiss and leave as soon as possible. And the other part of him… The other part of him wanted to hold her through the night and make love to her until the sun rose over them. “You’ll hate me. In the morning.” He said as if he knew it to be the truth. Dagger lifted her hands, running them through his hair and clearing his face of the blond locks. He always had his hair in his face and his face was so beautiful alone. “I could never hate you, Zidane. Believe me, I tried to make myself hate you and I couldn’t.” Zidane’s face became sorrowful. “I’m sorry…” She smiled at him. “Don’t be sorry anymore.” She said and she leaned down, her hair blocking his face from the moonlight. “No more…” Their lips met once more, tentatively. And then again. And again, the last kiss slowly opening into so much more. A gentle breeze came in through the window, lifting her hair from her shoulders. And Zidane wanted to touch her. Everywhere. With his fingers. With his lips. His hands grasped her waist, lifted to her ribs and kneaded the flesh there, under the nightgown. And he couldn’t help himself but leave her lips and travel downward, down the soft skin of her cheek and jaw, down to her neck where he buried his face and inhaled her scent. A scent of freesia and apples, of sun and beach. A leaf after rain. She smelled of it all and he realized it was because he had once smelled it all on her when they had traveled together. He wanted to taste all those things. She threw her head back as he parted his lips and pressed gentle kisses to her collarbone, his tongue nipping at all the hollows of her neck. And she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t grasp any one sensation. His lips. His hair under her fingers, the loose locks brushing the ends of her shoulder as he leaned into her. His hands almost politely remaining on her ribs and waist. She tried to make sense of all she felt and she couldn’t, she couldn’t. Breathless, she reached down, releasing his hair and feeling it all fall against the bare skin of her shoulder and collar. She grasped the end of his shirt, pulling on it with aching fingers. He lifted his arms, pulling away momentarily from her and allowing the material to come off his upper body before reaching for her again, lips hungry for her skin. He made his way further down, breathing against her skin and then merely resting his face against her breast, listening to her heartbeat. It raced, her blood pounding and he held her against him, shoulders trembling. Dagger pulled back a bit, gazing at him wordlessly and she crossed her arms over her chest, fingers pulling down the straps of her nightgown over her arms, sliding them free from her body. Zidane felt a tightening everywhere. Oh my God… Dagger wet her lips nervously, hands coming to rest on his shoulders. Zidane smiled faintly at her, willing strength into her. Because he loved her and because she was beautiful to him, no matter what. No matter what… He leaned into her once more, pressing his lips against her breast, against her nipple. And then his lips parted and he took her into his mouth, tongue caressing her tenderly. He felt her stiffen in his arms, felt her cry out softly and it gave him strength as well, made him bold. His other hand lifted, thumb brushing against the soft skin of her other breast. She trembled, sensation running through her. She wanted him, needed him, against her, under her, above her and inside her. His mouth was wet, fingers smooth upon sensitive skin and she couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t focus enough to remember where they were, even. But she called his name, inside her head and in her heart. Zidane… His free hand was sliding down her nightgown, trying to free her of it and she tried to rise away from him, fought for some sense of control. Zidane followed her as she rose from the bed, his mouth returning to claim hers hungrily, his breath rapid against her. And her nightgown fell to the floor, her body prickling from the air around, the magic that seemed to crackle in the room, in his arms. His bare flesh was pressed against hers, and he didn’t know what to do first, couldn’t get a single coherent thought. She was soft, her hair like silk and he touched her, fingers trailing down collar, down between her breasts and down the smooth flesh of her stomach. Down, down… Dagger gasped, head falling back as he touched her, as he buried his face against her neck. His fingers rubbed against her, kneaded her, and caressed her. And she couldn’t stand, didn’t have strength in her body at all. She wanted him to stop, just because she wanted to be back on the bed where she didn’t have to worry about slipping to the floor in a dead faint. “Stop…stop…” she whispered in gasps, tears rising in her eyes. He did so immediately, body stiffening and after a moment he lifted his head, looking down into her eyes with deep blue irises. His pupils were wide, lips parted around his own rapid breathing. His fingers left her, slick, and he blinked, trying to calm his racing heart. Her hands dropped to the buckle of his pants and she tried to undo them, fingers trembling. He watched her movements, allowed her to work before finally understanding that she didn’t want to stop. She wanted him to wait for her. And he closed his eyes, relief rushing through him at knowing that he hadn’t somehow messed up. He leaned his head forward, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead and then another, small baby kisses to a slightly damp temple. His pants came loose and she slowly, tenderly, pulled them off, careful for his tail. And she felt him then, all of him, as he stepped out of them and into her embrace. “The bed…” she whispered, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around his waist. Her hand brushed his tail, which whipped in the air, almost angrily, and she caught hold of it, running her hand up the length. Zidane began to back away, dragging her with him, his tongue wet against her neck. And he turned her, pressing her backwards over the bed as the back of her knees connected with the mattress. His arms were protective around her waist and back and she let him lay her down gently, lovingly, his body looming over hers. She opened her eyes, looking up at him and she lifted her hands once more, brushing his blond hair from his face. He caught one wrist, pressing a kiss against her pulse and she pulled him down on top of her, supporting his weight as he stretched out. He felt perfect, every bit of him. Strong arms, soft skin, beautiful face. And she couldn’t wait, she didn’t want to wait anymore. She wanted him, now, wanted to hear him cry her name in passion, in love. She lifted her hips against his, mouth seeking his hungrily. He moaned against her mouth, tongue flicking hers, fingers intertwining with hers as he raised them above her head. And she was lovely, hair fanned out beneath her, eyes closed in ecstasy. He wanted her, at that moment, more than anything he had ever wanted in his entire life and he rode that feeling, knew it would stay with him always. He positioned himself above her, looking down at her hesitantly. “Say it again.” He whispered and as she opened her eyes to look at him senselessly, “Say that you love me, that you’ll always love me…” Her eyes focused on his, fingers tightening the slightest bit with his. “I’ll love you always.” He exhaled, eyes closing, and he entered her slowly, scared that he would hurt her, scared that he was dreaming. But she felt real, her fingers, her body breathless under his, her tightness. He hesitated, heart breaking. I’m sorry… And he thrust, one powerful push that broke through her maidenhead. Her body stiffened, back arching into him as she cried out and her fingers squeezed his almost painfully. He released them, one arm wrapping around her waist, the other pushing damp hair from her face, his mouth pressing to hers, murmuring apologies. She was tight around him, body so stiff he feared she would break. He slowly began to pull himself back, to leave her. And Dagger stopped him with a breathless kiss. “No. No. Wait…wait for me…” He did so, his forehead pressed to hers, her breath warm against his lips. He held himself as she fidgeted under him, rocked against him, trying to find a position that was comfortable and he felt her heat, felt her wetness, and felt as if he was going to burst. Dagger settled after several more seconds, exhaling. She opened her eyes, looking up at him and she lifted a hand to his mouth, tracing the lines of his lips gently. “Slowly, Zidane…” she murmured and she smiled as he took her fingers into his mouth, nipping at them. His body began to move again, so very tenderly and she whimpered as her pain receded, as she felt him, all of him, inside and out. He felt so good, fit her so right. As if they were one being that had been separated. She lifted her hips again, trying to match him as he moved, as he filled her again and again. He felt stiff and somehow languid at the same time. Each thrust warmed him, made him want more of her and she was breathing against his cheek, against his jaw, her lips searching for his mouth. He met them, wanting to cry from all he felt, and wanting to make it right for her. And he couldn’t keep himself in check. The more he moved, the more she whimpered against him and she drove him insane, her voice, her lips. Her body. He couldn’t think, only wanted to feel. She whispered his name and he thrust faster into her, pushing himself into her with such strength that he feared he would tear her. But she urged him, matching his pace, her mouth wet against his jaw. Her fingers were at his back, nails scraping across his skin as he made love to her and she threw her head back as she felt something slowly rising inside. Zidane leaned into her, into her neck and chest, her scent assaulting him. It was too much, the way she smelled, the way she felt. His mouth traveled down once more, taking her breast captive. God, the way she tasted. He moaned against her, suckling her, wanting her to feel the insanity that was raging inside. He wanted it to sweep the both of them away. She was stiffening, she couldn’t stop herself. It was there, she was there, and she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from falling off that cliff. Faster, she urged him silently, eyes squeezing shut. Please, faster. And then she felt his fingers there, against her, stroking her and she couldn’t. She couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop herself from what she was feeling. She arched her back, expression turning almost into a grimace of sweet pain and she clenched around him, causing him to cry out against her breast. Something wrapped around her waist as he lifted his lips to hers, as she rocked against him. He reached up and ran his hands through her hair and then tangled them into their length, gripping onto her for dear life. His tail, his tail was wrapped around her and she was falling, falling into sweet, sweet oblivion. She cried his name aloud, body trembling and he held her as she fell. He felt when she peaked. Her body convulsed, tightening around him and he had held onto her as he had thrust faster, driving her over. He was almost there also, he felt it within his reach and he had never done this before but he knew how to. Pure, primitive instinct. He buried his face in her neck, pushing on, thrusting himself into her over and over, wanting to release. And then she lifted her hips, tightening, and he cried out, control slipping, snapping, as he reached the peak. Sweet pain mixed with ecstasy as he came inside her, body stiffening. Yes… He slowed at last, riding out the tremors rocking his body. He felt so weak, so…fragile. Underneath him she trembled, breasts pushing into him as she panted. He swallowed, breathing just as erratically and for a moment he stayed inside her, content to stay there all night, wrapped in her warmth. Her arms had caught around his waist, holding him limply and as he lifted himself above her she looked up at him, dark eyes swimming in tears. He had screwed up. His lips parted as he lifted a hand to her face, thumb smudging the tears that had slipped loose down the sides of her cheeks. “I’m sorry…” he whispered, apologizing for everything, whatever he had done. He shouldn’t have, he should have accepted her kiss and gone, just as he had planned. Because now… “I’m not.” She said softly, eyes shimmering, and she smiled at him, tightening her embrace on him. “I’m not sorry for any of it.” He gazed at her in awe before reaching down and claiming another kiss from her, a soft tender one. She met him halfway, closing her eyes, hair slipping to pool under her. And around her waist his tail curled, caressing her flushed skin. |
| Disclaimer: All characters are property of Hironobu Sakaguchi and SquareSoft. Song/lyrics to Trying belong to Lifehouse. Nothing belongs to me except the plot, but really now, seeing as how this is another PWP story... Quick note: I like to think the characters of Zidane and Garnet are at least in their late (late) teens or early twenties in this story because I'm not into children and sex. Gomen nasai. That and, in my opinion, Zidane's a lot sexier if he seems older. ^_^ Proceed with caution or turn back now. Rating: Bittersweet |
| In Moonlight |
| Property of TasogareBan. Please do not steal artwork or writings. Email to: TasogareBan@yahoo.com |