Weirdp

Weirdp

By Bec And Coral

Disclaimer: Yep, Paramount's fault... it's all their fault...!

A story that grew out a very weirdp spelling mistake, presented here for your enjoyment...!! We'd like to dedicate this to every J/Cer in the world, including those who like Michael... *shudders*

Coral's Stories ~ Email Coral ~ Email Bec ~ Bec's Fanfic

Especial thanks to Lissa, for all her on-list support when we begin a 2-girl-crusade against Michael Lovers, and for just generally being Weirdp!

With a yawn and a grimace, Coral woke up and slapped her alarm clock off. She was still tired, and all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. She'd been having such a nice dream too... nice dream... she wanted to go back to sleep... right now... but there was something she was supposed to do today. She decided it last night. But what was it?
"Coooooooooraaaaaaaal!"
Grumbling, Coral stumbled out of bed at her mother's insistent call, still racking her memory for what it was she had resolved to do. Check her email and answer them all? Write the next part of her RR? Finish her latest story? Somehow, none of those rung a bell. It had been something... important.
"Coming!" she yelled back, and she was going through her morning ritual of saying hello to her favourite posters when suddenly it dawned on her.
She was going to kill Michael. Blow him into his constituent photons! And preferably destroy those too! Lovely visions danced in her head as she groped under her bed for her Leola Root Rifle. She pulled it out and dusted it off with a wicked glint in her eyes. She knew just the person to help her, too.
Bec. She would phone Bec and ask her to join her on this glorious mission! Ignoring her mother's calls, she grabbed the secret telephone in her wardrobe, the one with a hotline for Bec's room. She lifted the receiver and asked, "Bec!?"
"Coral?"
Bec's voice sounded all Dalek-y like people often did on telephones.
"Hey, Bec, wanna come on a glorious, beautiful, gratifying mission?" she asked, kicking some of her clothes out of her wardrobe to make more room for herself.
"To do what?" Bec asked excitedly. "Do we get to use the Mega Leola Root Rifle?"
Coral's eyes went wide. "I'd forgotten that we got that yesterday!" she exclaimed. "Yes! We're gonna go and blow Michael to pieces!"
Coral held the receiver away from her ear as Bec screamed down the telephone line in excitement. "Coral! That's... that's perfect!" She cackled evilly and continued, "I'll meet you in an hour down at the weirdp meeting place?"
"Yupsies!" Coral exclaimed, balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder as she started packing a bag. "We left the rifle there, didn't we?"
"Uh-uh," Bec said. "Under that blanket with the mice in." The two shared a giggle.
"Right," Coral said. "I'll see you then!"
"See ya!"
"Bye!"
"Bye!"
"Byedibye!"
"Coral! Put the phone down!"
"I've got my Leola Root Rifle...!" Coral cautioned.
"Argh! Don't point that thing at me, mummy!" Bec laughed.
"Bye then!"
"Bye!"
"Byeeeeeee!"
"PUT THE PHONE DOWN!"
Laughing hysterically, Coral put the receiver down. Then, tilting her head back, she let forth the evilest laugh she had laughed in ages.
"MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
~#~#~

At the other end of England, Bec put the phone down, and climbed out of her own wardrobe. Well, chest of drawers. Stepping into the pigsty that was more commonly known as her bedroom, she smiled evilly. This was going to be good. So very good. Giving yet another evil smile, Bec actually managed to wake up, have a shower, and remember her own name without a coffee.
Feeling very proud of herself for this achievement, she walked downstairs, and into the main sitting room.
Her Mother, who was busy doing the ironing, nearly had a heart attack as she checked her watch. "Rebecca. It's…It's…"
"Only 6 o'clock, yes I know, Mum," Bec replied calmly.
"But…I don't bring your coffee up until 7," her Mother replied.
"Yes, I know," Bec replied impatiently, desperate to leave on the mission.
"You mean you got up without coffee?" Her mother's eyes widened, and she fainted. Bec shook her head, and walked into the kitchen. You could (occasionally) get up without it, but you certainly couldn't go on a mission to annihilate Michael without coffee…
~#~#~

An hour later, Bec sat on an upturned bath in the weirdp meeting place, the junkyard. She looked at the disgusting things all around her, and wondered if the things that seemed to be growing in the ground were distant members of the leola root family.
"Bec," Coral yelled excitedly, walking towards her through the junkyard.
Bec grinned. "Hey Coral," she said smiling as if she had a coathanger stuck in her mouth.
"Are you ready?" Coral asked.
"I've been ready since the first time I ever saw that disgusting excuse for an episode," Bec told her.
"Fair Haven?" Coral asked.
"Don't swear like that, Coral," Bec said, covering her ears in mock disgust.
Coral laughed. "Lets go kick some holographic butt!" she said enthusiastically.
"Wait," Bec said. "We can't go looking like this."
Coral looked down at herself, and then at Bec. "Why not?" she demanded, eager to get on with the mission.
"Coral, you're wearing pajamas with dancing sheep on, and I'm wearing my fluffy bunny slippers, and matching nightie."
"Oh yeah," Coral said, looking very sheepish, which matched her pajamas very nicely.
"Come on," Bec said. She began to walk towards the main building, and was followed closely by Coral. Both of them tried very hard not to shudder when they realised they were stepping in things that very closely resembled Neelix's leftover food from mealtimes.
"I think this is where leola root goes when it dies," Coral decided.
"It is pretty disgusting," Bec said, wrinkling her nose as she trod in something resembling leola root ice cream.
"Eww," Coral said. "Bec, what's that?" She pointed to some material, lying on the ground, covered in something looking like leola root juice.
Bec bent down to examine it further. "I don't know," she said. "What do you think?"
Coral examined it. Then a look of horror flashed across her face. "Oh no," she said. "Bec, it's underwear covered in leola root."
Bec froze. "Do we know whose?" she asked, hoping it wasn't what she thought it might be. But by the look on Coral's face, she knew it was.
"It's Neelix's," Coral said. They ran.
Coral and Bec were out of breath by the time they reached a building.
"In here," Bec yelled. Coral ran in after her, and together, they bolted the door, then sank to the floor, gasping for breath.
"Do you think it managed to follow us?" Bec asked, struggling to breathe.
"Don't be silly," Coral replied. "Luckily for us, leola covered Neelix underwear can't move."
"No," Bec said. "But it sure as hell can make us move."
Coral and Bec both burst out laughing. "We need to get going soon," Coral said.
"We need to change into something other than pajamas," Bec said. "Any ideas?"
"I know," Coral said, her eyes gleaming.
"What?" Bec said. Then she saw the gleam in Coral's eye. "Hang on, you're not thinking…"
"I am," Coral said. "We've been saving them for a special occasion."
"But…are you sure?" Bec asked.
"Positive," Coral said firmly. "Lets get kitted up."
~#~#~

20 minutes later, Coral and Bec were dressed in the Starfleet uniforms, both in the medical or science uniform with the blue part at the top.
"I love this," Coral said. "I told you it was worth getting these."
"You were right," Bec said, admiring herself in the mirror. "I love this uniform. But why did we get blue?"
"Well," Coral explained. "Blue is Science, and I'm doing a Science A-level. Red people have to make decisions, which is annoying. And yellow people have this annoying tendency to die."
"Makes sense," Bec said, sitting down on a stool. "So what else do we need to do now?"
"We need a plan," Coral said. "Apart from the killing Michael part."
"OK," Bec said, thinking carefully. Then she sat bolt upright. "Hey, Coral. I was thinking."
Coral nearly fell off her own stool in shock. "Thinking?" she said. "Wow, congratulations Bec."
"Thanks," Bec said, smiling proudly.
"Well, we need to track down Michael," Coral said. "Then find him. And then." She stopped looking over towards where the mega leola root rifles were hidden. "It's party time."
"Yay," Bec said. "Good plan." Then she actually did fall off her stool. "Coral, I'm getting scared. Now I've had an idea."
"An idea?" Coral said, amazed. "You've been thinking and have had an idea? In the same day?"
"Yeah," Bec said. "You proud?"
"My little girl is better at thinking that me?" Coral said. "Although it's not hard to do, I'm very proud."
"Anyway," Bec said. "Do you remember that missions statement we made up ages ago? In case we ever got the chance to do this?"
Coral slapped the table so hard that a cloud of dust flew off it. "Yes," she said, realising what Bec had thought. "We use our old Mission statement."
"It's perfect," Bec agreed.
The two stood up, and stood solemnly doing the 'live long and prosper hand signal.' Then they began to recite :
"These are the voyages of Coral and Bec. Our ongoing mission, to seek out strange new weirdps. To explore new ideas and new leola root guns. To boldly go where no nut case had gone before."
Coral and Bec turned to smile at each other.
"Now, how do we find out Michael's whereabouts?" Bec asked.
"We use the location detector thingy," Coral replied, moving towards a large console.
"Is that a technical term?" Bec asked sarcastically.
"Yes," Coral replied seriously.
"Oh," Bec said, following Coral to the location detector thingy. "How do we use it?" Bec asked.
"We simply type in the name," Coral told her, demonstrating. "And then-" She was cut off as the computer crashed.
"Must be related to my computer at home," Bec muttered.
"Damn," Coral said. She pulled out the miniature leola root rifle from her belt. "Don't make me use this," she said threateningly, waving it in front of the computer. The computer miraculously turned itself back on.
Bec looked amazed. "My computer never does that," she moaned.
Coral typed in a few things, and then some coordinates appeared on the screen. "Bingo," she said, smiling happily. "I've tracked that piece of leola root ridden filth down. He's in Ireland."
"How do we get there?" Bec asked. "We don't have a shuttle."
"We'll use the new transporter," Coral said. "I tested it yesterday."
"With what?" Bec asked cautiously.
"Michael duplicates," Coral said. "Well, at least I was going to. I killed them before they even got near the transporter."
Bec sighed. "So what you're saying is that we're using a new technology that may kill us?"
"Yup," Coral smiled. "We wouldn't be weirdp otherwise."
"Good point," Bec said. "Lets go."
"Yeah," Coral said. They stepped up onto the transporter pad.
"Wait," Bec yelled. "We almost forgot them."
"Forgot what?" Coral asked impatiently.
"The mega leola root rifles," Bec said, shocked that she and Coral had nearly forgotten them.
"Oh no," Coral said, rushing towards Bec. They pulled the blanket off the mega leola root rifles, and each picked up their own rifle.
"I love this thing," Coral said, kissing the rifle.
"You know, sometimes I feel like you have 18 little girlies instead of just 17," Bec joked.
Coral looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Well, theres us 17 in JCUKjnr," Bec explained. "And then there's whatever leola root rifle happens to be your current favourite."
Coral laughed. "Shall we go?" she asked.
"Yup," Bec said. She and Coral stood on the transporter pads, with mega leola root rifles in hand.
"Energising," Coral said. Then there was the tingle of the transporter. And the next thing either of them knew, they were in the streets of…Fair Haven, Ireland.
Bec looked around. "Oh no," she moaned. "Coral, where are we?"
"Michael's location," Coral said.
"It isn't?" Bec asked.
"It is," Coral said, comforting her friend. "It's Fair Haven."
"Noooooooooooooooo," Bec yelled. "Not here. I'd rather be in an eternity of algebra lessons than here."
"I know," Coral said, hugging Bec. "I feel the exact same way. But we have to do this Bec, it's our mission. Remember the mission statement."
"OK," Bec said, taking deep breaths. "Lets get the leola root loving scum."
Coral and Bec walked along the streets of Fair Haven. They had seen some of the episode while hurling things at the TV screen, so they easily found the bar.
"Are you ready?" Coral asked.
"Ready," Bec said, taking a deep breath.
Clad in Starfleet uniform, with mega leola root rifles in hand, they barged into the bar of Fair Haven. The room went silent.
"Michael Sullivan?" Coral said, her voice dripping with contempt.
"Holy leola root," Michael exclaimed, ducking as Bec and Coral fired their mega leola root rifles. He ran, and managed to crawl out of the back exit behind the bar.
"He's getting away," Coral yelled angrily. They ran, leapt over the bar, and continued their pursuit of Michael Sullivan.
After chasing down alleyway after alleyway, Coral and Bec finally sat down, admitting defeat.
"We lost him," Bec said. "I can't believe we lost him." She sighed, and fiddled with the settings on hermega leola root rifle.
Coral looked up. "Bec," she screamed, leaping up, and running. Bec jumped to her feet, and followed Coral.
Finally, Bec saw what Coral had seen. They had finally found Michael. He was cornered in an alleyway. With no escape. Laughing evilly, Bec and Coral set the mega
leola root rifles to pure leola.
"We've been waiting a long time for this," Coral said, gazing at Michael.
"It's payback," Bec said. "For making Kathryn fall in love with you, for annoying me and Coral, and also for calling Kathryn 'Katie.' God that was annoying."
"Bec," Coral said. "Lets kill."
"It ain't over yet ladies," Michael said, in his annoying Irish accent. "I bid ye well." Suddenly a big swirling hole appeared behind Michael, and he jumped into it.
"Quick," Coral yelled, grabbing Bec. "Follow him."
Coral and Bec leapt into the swirling hole, hand in hand. It closed behind them...
~#~#~

Coral and Bec landed in a tangled heap as the distortion closed behind them. The first thing they noticed was the screaming and shouting, then the rancid smell. Then, they realised...
"Voyager's Messhall?" Bec asked, eyes wide.
"The Galley, to be precise..." Coral said, gesturing to the piles of Leola Root and other strange foodstuffs.
Bec looked at the older girl. "But why the noise? Surely it can't just be a normal lunchtime?"
Coral shrugged. "Weirdp. Let's have a look!"
Cautiously, the two peered over the counter, trying not to attract attention.
They needn't have worried - everyone they could see was far too engrossed in the large foodfight that was taking place. Leola root soared through the air, and gagh was squirming on people's head. The main action, it appeared, was taking place in the centre of the room, where Kellin was being bombarded by everything from mouldy leola root to chocolate cake.
"What a waste...!" Coral gasped, tears springing into her eyes. "That gorgeous chocolate cake... on *Kellin*..."
Bec placed a supportive arm around her shoulder and shuddered. "But it could be worse - it could have been coffee!"
"Not with Janeway around!" Coral giggled, and Bec grinned.
The two ducked back under the counter as Leola Root came flying toward them. "So... we're on Voyager..." Bec said, "But I haven't seen Michael yet."
Coral shook her head. "Me neither. And we need to find him."
"Not that watching Kellin get the stuffing beat out of her in a foodfight isn't fun," Bec said, "But I wanna destroy Michael!"
"Hold-" Coral began, but loud yells interrupted her. The two girls peeked over the top of the counter once more, desperate to see what was going on.
The foodfight had died down, and the combatants had moved back, leaving the space in the middle of the room free... except for two women. Kellin and Kathryn, both of them angry and practically spitting fire, were engaged in a petty catfight.
All thoughts of staying unnoticed disappeared from the girls minds as they both jumped up at the same time and yelled, "Gooooooooooooo Kaaaaaaaaaaaathryyyyyyyyyyyyn!"
They exchanged looks and whispered, "psycho!" before jumping over the counter and resuming their chant.
"Goooooooooo Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaanewaaaaaaaaaay!" they yelled, bouncing up and down like the crazed weirdps they were. They barely noticed when B'Elanna and Sam Wildman joined in, jumping around like teenagers.
"UGLY, Kellin ain't got no alibi, she ugly, hey, hey, she ugly!" Bec screamed above the din of the crowd.
"Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciaaaaaaaaaate...?!" Coral yelled, not to be outdone by her daughter.
"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaanewaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"
The answering scream came from everyone in the room, and Coral shared a pleased look with Bec before continuing, "One, two, three-and-a-half, who is just a great big laugh!?"
"Kellllllllllin!"
"You pathetic pixie!" Janeway screamed, slapping the Ramora's face as the chants continued.
"You-you..." Everyone laughed as Kellin struggled for an insult. "You caffeine addict!"
"And darn proud of it!" Kathryn, Bec and Coral chorused.
"Psycho..." Coral whispered, causing Bec to collapse in fits of laughter.
Kellin started sobbing and ran out of the room, leaving Janeway the obvious victor. Bec and Coral huggled, then crept out of the room before anyone could apprehend them - they had a hologram to kill!
~#~#~

"Where the hell is he?" Bec wondered. "We've been looking for hours, Coral."
"I know," Coral said. "I think theres 2 possibilities. He either, is very smart-"
"Which is automatically ruled out," Bec interrupted.
"Exactly," Coral agreed. "The only other one is that someone is helping him."
"Who would want to help that leola root loving piece of filth?" Bec asked angrily.
"Half of JetCJr9," Coral reminded the younger girl.
"But apart from them," Bec said. "There's no one that would help him."
"I know," Coral said. "I'm confused too. And I'm also hungry," Coral complained, as they roamed the corridors of Voyager. "Got any food, Bec?"
"Yup," Bec said. "Junk food OK?" she asked.
"You mean there's another type of food?" Coral joked.
"Not to my knowledge," Bec joked throwing a chocolate bar and a packet of crisps over to Coral. She took a chocolate bar for herself too.
"You're obsessed with chocolate," Coral told her.
"Not my fault," Bec told her. "I'm going through the chocolate phase."
"The chocolate phase?" Coral asked.
"Yeah," Bec said. "There's the chocolate phase, the crisps phase and the ice cream phase. I go through phases of being obsessed with different foods."
"Don't forget the coffee phase," Coral told her, remembering how obsessed the young girl was with coffee.
"It's not really a phase. More like a part of my existence," Bec told her.
Coral kept scanning, while munching her chocolate bar.
"So what do you think of Voyager then?" she asked Bec.
"A dream come true," Bec replied. "I wish we'd run into some more of the crew though. I really want to meet Naomi and the Doctor. And get autographs."
"I daresay we will," Coral said. "I wish we'd run into Seffen though."
"Yeah," Bec grinned. "But we don't have an excuse to carry out the paper shredder plan."
"How about the fact she's alive?" Coral asked.
"Good enough for me," Bec laughed.
Suddenly, Coral's tricorder beeped. "Hang on," she said, as her face lit up.
"What?" Bec asked."She gave Michael nano-probes," Coral said, shoving her data pad under Bec's nose excitedly. "That's why we can't track him! She gave him nano-probes. They're in his holomatrix, and keep him shielded from our sensors," she paused for breath.
"So why are you so excited about it?" Bec asked, glumly. "If we can't detect him, we can't kill him."
"Don't you see?" Coral asked, jumping around happily. "Who gave him the nano-probes?"
"That evil borg probably," Bec guessed. "I hate her."
"Yes," Coral said, now doing a happy dance down the corridor. "So now we have a reason to get even."
"Oh," Bec's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Yay!"
She joined in the happy dance, and the two girls began their journey to Astrometrics.
~#~#~

The 2 girls burst into Astrometrics, brandishing leola root rifles, and grinning evilly.
"Computer, seal door, authorisation Coral Leane, pie coffee cake mince tart leola," Coral ordered.
"Authorisation accepted," the computer stated. Coral turned around smiling, to Bec, who was holding the borg at gunpoint.
"Move an inch, you borg bimbo, and you're a leola root stain on the back wall," Bec snarled evilly. Coral
smiled. She had taught her daughter well.
"Who are you? What is the meaning of this?" a confused Seffen asked. "This is a futile activity."
"We're the weirdp sisters," Bec smiled. "Well, weirdp Mother and daughter, at least."
"This is futile," Seffen said.
"Not to us," Coral grinned. "Now, I'll explain this. Bec, keep the auto target on Seffen. If she moves, Bertha gets her test drive," she said, referring to Bec's newly named leola root rifle, Bertha.
Bec grinned. "Sure thing, Mummy," she smiled, watching the borg gleefully, desperately hoping she would move.
"Now then," Coral said. "Seffen, I don't want to hurt you, but if you don't tell us what we want to know…" she trailed off. "Actually, I do want to hurt you," she cackled evilly.
"What we want to know," Bec continued. "Is, why the hell did you help Michael?"
"He required help," Seffen said. "I wished to be of assistance."
"You wanted to help Michael?" Bec asked in amazement.
"God, and I thought we were mental Coral. This is a whole new level of weirdness."
"And also," Seffen carried on. "I found him attractive."
The borg didn't get the chance to say much more. The second those words were uttered, two large objects, more commonly known as Coral and Bec, came hurtling towards the borg at a speed that would have impressed even Superman.
The 3 women became one tangled heap on the floor. Coral was repeatedly banging Seffen's head against the floor, yelling "take it back," while Bec was ripping out the borg's hair yelling "you Canadian computer," as if it were the worst insult in the world.
Finally, Coral and Bec stood up, leaving a battered Seffen on the floor. Coral grabbed her own leola root rifle, Bella, and aimed it at her target.
"Asta la vista, borgy," Coral said, firing. Seffen collapsed on the floor, and she and Bec hi-fived.
"Now what?" Bec asked. "As much as I'd like to, we can't just leave her there."
"We get revenge," Coral told her. "For helping Michael."
Bec looked at Seffen, half bald, and very bruised.
"Didn't we do that already?" she asked, slightly confused.
"Bec," Coral said. "When it comes to someone in league with Michael, you can never have too much revenge."
Bec grinned evilly. "Any ideas?" she asked.
"Oh yes," Coral said, happily. "Oh yes!"
~#~#~

Seffen groaned as she came to. Something was…different. She sat up. Then she screamed. "Aaaaaggggghhh."
Coral and Bec hi-fived, and began to do a little happy dance in the middle of the Brig.
"What?" Seffen yelled angrily. "What have you done to me? I will not comply."
"No choice," Bec laughed evilly. "There's a mirror in there if you like."
Seffen cautiously approached the mirror. And gasped in horror. Her hair had been half pulled out. The doctor had more hair than she did! And on top of that…
"No," Seffen screamed as she noticed her outfit. "No. What is this? I will not comply."
Seffen had been placed in a baggy jumper and jeans. She looked…fat. She screamed. "What have you done?" Then she sniffed.
"Noooooooooo," she screamed, as the scent of leola root filled the air.
"Say your prayers, Seffen of nine," Bec said. "Now tell us where Michael is?"
"Never," Seffen yelled.
"Fine," Coral said. "Come on Bec." The two linked arms, and looked ready to exit the room.
"Wait," Seffen yelled. "He's on the bridge."
"Thanks," Bec said.
"Wait," Seffen yelled again. "When are you going to let me out?" The leola root gas was forming a cloud within the cell in the brig.
"Let me see," Coral said. She pretended to think. "Today's Thursday…Never."
The girls exited, and Seffen screamed as the leola root gas closed in on her. "Noooooooooooo."
~#~#~

Coral shoved a marshmallow on the stick, and pushed it into the crackling fire, which was in the middle of the corridor. Bec drank more of her hot chocolate.
"I can't believe we didn't find him," Bec moaned.
"I know," Coral said. "But look on the bright side. We got Seffen!"
"I know," Bec said. "That was so much fun!"
"We'll carry on the search for Michael tomorrow,"
Coral said. "I can't believe how easy it was to get it out of Seffen."
"We could have gone there first," Bec said. "We had to go in Kellin's quarters to check for Michael. We wouldn't have had to do that if we'd gone straight there."
"Bec," Coral said. "We checked her quarters so we could egg the place."
"I know," Bec grinned. "But officially we were looking for Michael."
It was late at night, and the 2 girls had converted Deck 2, section 9 into a little camp with tent, campfire, and a small paddling pool. Bec drank more of the hot chocolate, and stole one of Coral's marshmallow's.
"So when we go to the bridge, can we ask for the Captain's autograph?" Bec asked, pelting the 'Michael poster' they had put up with Marshmallows.
"OK," Coral said. "We'll go there first thing in the morning."
"Good plan," Bec said. "But it is the morning. We should get some sleep."
"Sleep?" Coral joked. "Is it some kind of foreign word I don't know?"
Bec laughed. "I know, I know, we never sleep. But we really do need some."
"I don't think I can sleep," Coral said. "I'm not used to going to bed this early."
"Me neither," Bec said. "It's only 3 in the morning." She thought for a minute. "Coral!"
"What?"
"The J/C Fanfic index might update while we're away."
Coral sat bolt upright, and the crew down in Engineering on the night shift, could hear her scream of terror. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."
"Calm down, Coral," Bec said.
"Gimme, gimme, gimme, a fic after midnight," Coral sang, hoping and praying that God (or at least Q) was listening. "Won't someone help me chase the ol' Braga bugs away. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fic after midnight. Help me keep this weirdness till the break of day."
Bec grinned. "You are the fanfic queen. Young and sweet, only 17," she sang.
Coral stood up for her solo :"So I say thank you for the fanfic, the stories I'm reading. Thanks for all the joy they're bringing. Who can live without fic? I ask in all honesty, what would life be? Without a French kiss between J and C, so I say thank you for the fanfic, for E-mailing it to me."
Bec gave her a round of applause, and a standing ovation by herself. She looked at Coral in admiration. "Nice."
"Thanks," Coral said. "Pass the marshmallows."
Bec passed them.
~#~#~

The next morning, neither of them had slept at all. They had some more marshmallows, as a non-healthy, non-nutricious breakfast and a coffee, before taking a quick dip in the paddling pool, and breaking camp. They packed away all their things, ripped the Michael poster to shreds with the portable paper shredder, and continued on the quest for Michael…
The two were walking down one of Voyager's corridors after taking a short detour to the messhall, where they'd stocked up on coffee and chocolate. They were heading towards the nearest turbolift when, suddenly, Bec doubled over with laughter, leaning against the wall to hold herself up. Her face started turning red as she struggled to breathe, shaking with laughter as she did so. Coral looked at her curiously.
"Bec?" she asked. "Bec? What's so zarfing funny?"
Bec's mouth opened uselessly as she struggled to speak. Just trying made her laugh even harder, and she clutched her side in agony.
Involuntarily, a grin started to spread across Coral's face. Bec's laughter was infectious, and Coral... had caught it.
"Seffen..." Bec gasped, "her face..."
It didn't Coral much more than a nanosecond to get what Bec was going on about, and about a millisecond later she was rolling on the floor, laughing until she too was red in the face. The laughter was a vicious cycle... just as one girl started to sober up, she would catch sight of the other, or a bemused crewman, and start all over again, even harder than before.
Half an hour later, Coral suddenly spoke.
"Michael," she said, and immediately the two girls sobered up, the laughter replaced with scowls at the mention of That Hologram's name.
Bec patted her portable shredder, a determined expression on her face. "Let's get 'im! Seffen said he was on the bridge," she remembered. "Did she say what he was doing there?"
Coral accessed her memory, which was stored in her tricorder. "No, she didn't," she said, shaking her head emphatically. "Just where he was."
Bec looked pensive for a minute. "Do you think we should let Seffen out some time?"
The two shared an evil look.
"Naaaah!" they chorused, and, linking arms, headed for the bridge to kill Michael and get Janeway's autograph...
~#~#~

The turbolift ride seemed to take forever as they inched slowly towards the bridge. Bec was drumming her fingers nervously on the portable shredder and Coral was pacing round and round, which was making Bec feel slightly spacesick.
"Mummy, would you *please* stop that?" she asked, gripping the shredder so tight that her knuckles turned white.
Coral drew to an abrupt halt in front of Bec. "Is something up?" the older girl asked worriedly. "You're not normally this quiet."
"Neither are you," Bec pointed out with a slightly forced grin.
Coral thought about this for a second. "That's a very good point..." she mused. "I guess it's just a case of nerves."
"Or the fact we didn't sleep at all last night?" Bec suggested, the grin coming more easily this time.
The lift drew to a jerky halt, and mother turned to daughter. "Remember - shoot first, celebrate later!" she said, but the inspirational speech was drowned out by Bec's sudden shriek of dismay - "We left the mega rifles in the messhall!"
The two weirdpers burst onto the bridge brandishing their leola rifles, normal size.
"Surrender, you piece of leola-loving filth!" Coral demanded loudly.
Everyone on the bridge froze, not quite sure who she meant.
"She means Michael!" Bec yelled helpfully.
Comprehension dawned on everyone's faces, and Tuvok whipped out a phaser, correctly guessing that the two girls may pose a security threat. Bec and Coral both turned to Tuvok, and that move cost them dearly - Michael grabbed Janeway and held her between him and the two weirdpers, who were frozen with horror at this development.
Never taking her eyes off Michael, Coral asked Bec, loudly and deliberatly, "Do you think he ever actually loved her?"
Michael didn't look as upset as Coral had hoped he would. In fact, he looked downright triumphant. With a sinking feeling, Coral realised he had every right to... she and Bec would *never* risk hurting Janeway.
"I didn't," he said mockingly, and Bec shuddered at his cruel-sounding voice, the perverted version of an Irish accent that this filth of nature had. "I was just using her! To take over Voyager!"
Coral and Bec stared at That Hologram, fear and defiance simultaneously coursing through their veins. Tuvok had changed his phaser's target from them to Michael upon this last pronouncement, but he was in no better a position to get a shot off.
"I worked my way into her confidence," Michael continued, outlining his evil plan for universal dominance. The poor weirdpers were frozen, rooted to the spot, unable to save Janeway or kill Michael, as were most of the bridge crew.
But one... one person had enough daring, enough courage, enough... love... that he moved.
"Get off her, you Angelfire shareholding, son of a Kellin," Chakotay yelled, tackling Michael to the ground. Coral reacted quickly, and pulled Kathryn towards her and Bec. But Kathryn never looked away from the battle that was taking place in the middle of the bridge.
Chakotay punched Michael. "Get the hell away from my Kathryn." He looked embarrassed. "My bridge," he said, emphasising the word bridge. "Get the hell away from my bridge."
The hologram stood up, and scuttled off the bridge.
Coral and Bec momentarily forgot their hatred of the disgusting hologram, and watched, as Captain Janeway moved closer towards Chakotay. The hologram slipped behind them quietly, as the weirdpers were too engrossed in the romantic drama unfolding before their very eyes.
"Chakotay," Kathryn said softly. "I-I don't know how to thank you."
"I didn't do that for a reward, Kathryn," Chakotay said. "I did it for you."
Bec sniffed, and Coral passed her a tissue.
"For me?" Kathryn looked amazed. "But, Chakotay, he could have killed you."
"I didn't care," Chakotay said. "I'd do it again if I had to. I won't let him harm you Kathryn."
"Oh, Chakotay," Kathryn said, very quietly. She grasped his hand. "That's the kindest thing I've ever heard."
"Kindness isn't anything to do with it," Chakotay said. "I love you Kathryn."
Coral and Bec watched, holding their breath, as Chakotay took Kathryn Janeway in his arms. They stared into each others eyes for a brief moment, before Kathryn leaned her face towards Chakotay's, and her lips met his.
The bridge burst into a round of applause, led by Tom Paris. Coral and Bec got another round of tissues. Sam Wildman and B'Elanna were crying. Harry was sniffing. Even Tuvok looked…moved.
The kiss broke, and Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay held hands tightly.
"I love you," Kathryn whispered, kissing him a second time.
Coral and Bec huggled, due to an extreme happiness overload. Coral grinned, wiping a few tears away from her eyes.
"I can't believe it finally happened!" Bec gushed.
"Not only that, but we were here to see it," Coral cried happily.
"I know," Bec said. "Huggles?"
"Huggles," Coral agreed. The girls huggled.
"You know, we should really go looking for Michael Sullivan now," Bec suggested.
"But we haven't…" Coral trailed off. "Oh my god, that's *so* sweet. Bec, get the camera."
Bec passed the camera to Coral, who proceeded to take pictures, photographic evidence for the JetC ponds.
And, of course, for their photo albums.
Suddenly, Bec nudged Coral. "Should we ask?"
"We should," Coral said.
The two girls walked up to Captain Janeway.
"Uh, Captain?" Coral asked timidly. The captain looked at them.
"Can we have your autograph?" they chorused.
~#~#~

"Right," Bec said, getting into the turbo lift, dragging the portable paper shredder behind her. "Lets go get that damned hologram."
"First we need to go to the messhall," Coral said. "We *have* to get our leola root rifles back Bec."
"Good point," Bec agreed. "Then, we get the hologram."
Coral let out one of her extremely evil laughs.
"Mwahahahahahahaha."
The two weirdpers entered the messhall a few minutes later, still uttering exclamations of "I can't believe it!", to which the other would reply "Me neither!" Bec carfully parked the Portable Paper Shredder as Coral looked around the messhall and asked, "Where did we leave them, Bec?"
Bec headed for the galley, calling over her shoulder as she went, "We were searching for chocolate at the time!"
Coral followed her daughter. "I can't believe it, Bec!"
Bec grinned. "Me neither! They *kissed*, Coral! They *kissed*!"
The two hugged again, laughing and crying.
"*And* we have it on camera!" Coral grinned.
"*And* we have their autographs!" Bec added. "Ah! Here they are..." She picked up Coral's rifle and tossed it to her mummy.
Coral caught her rifle and huggled it tightly, murmuring "Welcome back, Bella!" to the rifle. Bec grinned at the sight, then picked her own beloved Bertha up.
"I'm *so* glad we got these," Bec said. "Bertha's the best rifle I've ever had!"
"And they've got good names too," Coral said, patting her rifle lovingly, then hoisting it into a comfortable aiming position. "Betsy is *so* overused!"
The two girls headed back into the dining area in time to hear the doors swish open. Instantly the girls spun, rifles trained on the opening door, waiting for the person to enter.
Michael stepped through the door.
Bec yelled uncontrollably, hurling vile insults at the deserving hologram.
"You Angelfire-Shareholder! You -you - Kellin-lover!" she screamed. "You product of a canadian computer company!"
Coral looked on, impressed. "Good work," she said with a grin, her rifle never once wavering from its target as she thumbed the setting right up to 'pure, concentrated leola'. "Leola Root Filth!" she added to the stream of insults, just for good measure. In all this time, her gaze had never wavered from Michael's face, horrifying sight though it was. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" she asked.
That Hologram threw back his head, and let out an evil laugh. Not a nice evil laugh like the weirdpers often used, but one that chilled the poor girls to the bone. Pure maliciousness coursed through it, cold hatred that was undeniable. "You don't get it, do you?!" he half-asked, half-proclaimed. "I will prevail! This ship will become mine! With it, I will conquer the universe! And, Katie and Chakotay will *never* stay together-"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" the two weirdpers yelled, and fired on That Hologram simultaneously. Their expressions were of hatred and ferocity, and they continued firing even as Michael writhed in agony, screaming in terror. The last sentence he had uttered had convinced them that he was beyond redemption.
He was beyond it, and halfway to hell.
With a last scream, Michael vapourised, and the mobile emitter dropped to the floor. The clunk it made as it fell brought Coral out of her trance, and she slowly lowered her rifle.
"Bec."
The younger girl was still firing at the point where the hologram had stood, burning a hole into the messhall doors.
"Bec!" Coral grabbed her daughter's arm and shook her hard. "Bec!"
Bec dropped her rifle just as the power fizzled out, and it dropped uselessly to the floor. Coral put down her own almost drained rifle, and the two huggled, tears of pure relief running down their cheeks.
"I-I can't believe it," Bec murmured. "The kiss... Michael..."
"I know," Coral murmured back soothingly. "Me neither."
the other doors started to open, and the weirdpers quickly picked up their rifles.
"Mine's useless!" Bec hissed. "All power is drained!"
"I only have diluted leola for a five second charge," Coral added worriedly. "But whoever it is doesn't know that-"
Kellin stepped through the door, holding a large weapon which Coral instantly recognised.
"An Underwear Launcher!" she exclaimed, horrified.
"And it's loaded," the blonde bimbo added, "with Neelix's Underwear. And, if you don't tell me where Michael is... I'll use it on you."
"Go to hell," Coral muttered.
"What?"
"That's where Michael is," Bec continued.
Realisation dawned on the annoying Ramora's face. "No," she said. "You…You killed him?" she spat out the words, making them sound like an insult.
"But…," her face clouded over. "I will make you pay!"
Bec ducked behind an upturned messhall table as Kellin fired the Neelix underwear launcher.
Neelix underwear soared through the air, and missed Bec by mere inches.
Coral ducked behind a table at the other side of the messhall. She shook the leola root rifle, and then threw it behind her.
'Theres none left,' Coral thought. 'We haven't got a chance in hell.'
She stopped, and suddenly heard the tune to 'Dancing Queen' playing. Looking around in amazement, she realised it was her portable communication device. And Bec was at the other end.
"Bec?"
"Coral, what do we do?" Bec looked scared. "That's a Neelix underwear launcher out there. And Kellin has it. My leola root rifle's run out too."
"Mine too," Coral whispered. "I thought I had some left…but-" Bec cut her off.
"Coral, can you get safely to the galley?" Bec asked, suddenly excited.
"Yes, why?" Coral asked.
"You can get more leola root," Bec said.
"The rifle won't take unpureed," Coral said.
"NO," Bec said. "Use the leola root, and hurl it at Kellin. Cover my while I make a mad dash for the paper shredder."
"Bec, theres not a lot of chance of it working."
"We're as good as dead anyway," Bec argued. "We might as well try. What have we got to lose?"
"Our lives?" Coral remarked.
"Don't you want to at least have a chance?" Bec asked her.
"OK," Coral said. "I'll go get that leola root. Hang in there Bec." She snuck away to the galley.
Bec crouched behind the table, ready to make a run for her beloved paper shredder. She could only listen, terrified, as Coral fumbled around the galley for leola root. Bec looked up from over the table to see Kellin heading towards the galley.
'Coral, get out of there,' Bec silently prayed.
Coral finally found some leola root. Slightly mouldy, but still, the mouldier, the better. She turned around, to see the Ramora's evil face glaring down at her.
"Aaahhh," Coral screamed in shock. Suddenly, Kellin raised the underwear launcher.
Coral somehow remembered that she had mouldy leola root in her hand. She threw it, and it flew through the air, to his Kellin exactly between the eyes.
That was it. Coral had had enough. Kellin was going to pay for everything. With a Xena-the-warrior-princess like scream, she hurled mouldy leola root left, right and center, all directed towards the hideous ramora.
"Take that," she yelled, hurling yet leola root after leola root.
The ramora doubled back in pain. Coral saw their opportunity.
"Bec, now," she yelled. Bec ran out from under the table, grabbed the portable paper shredder, and raced towards Coral and Kellin, dragging it behind her, travelling at warp speed.
As Bec positioned the paper shredder, and ramped it up to 'slice 'n' dice', Coral hurled the largest piece of leola root she had ever seen towards Kellin.
Kellin, in shock, fell backwards. Directly into the whirling paper shredder. The two girls stood there in blissful silence.
~#~#~

The silence, unifying and calming, seemed to last forever as they stood in the mess hall. Assorted bits of Kellin still swirled in the shredder, and bits of blonde hair flew everywhere. But the girls barely noticed. All that mattered was that life felt right once more.
"We did it, Bec," Coral whispered, afraid to break the silence, but needing to speak.
"I know..." Bec's voice was barely audible as she stared, entranced, at the shredder. "We actually did it."
Simultaneously, the two girls turned to each other and huggled tightly, laughing with relief.
"I haven't felt this exhilarated since we did the Ten Hour Chat!" Coral exclaimed.
"I know!" Bec said, laughing and dancing around manically.
Coral patted the Portable Paper Shredder, which was still humming merrily, as if it was enjoying itself too. "Bec," she decided, "we have to celebrate somehow. A party, an outing... something."
Bec looked around the messhall with a grin. "With a finale like this, what can we do for an encore?!" she asked.
Coral shrugged. "I dunno, but-"
She was interrupted by the internal comm system. "This is Captain Janeway to all hands. Commander Chakotay and I have an... announcement to make." Coral and Bec shared a look as they heard Janeway take a deep breath. The girlscrossed their fingers as the Captain continued, "We're getting married, and you're all invited to the engagement party tonight!"
The two weirdpers squealed in delight. Coral dashed over to the replicator and ordered two cups of coffee and a large bar of chocolate. Bec's eyes gleamed at the thought of coffee and she sprinted across the room, barely waiting for the drink to finish materialising before she snatched it up. Coral split the choclate bar, and the two sat on the messhall floor.
"A party..." Bec sighed after finishing most of her coffee in one gulp, despite the fact that Coral had replicated her the extra large size with 200% extra free on top of that. "Dancing, J/Cness... I think this is the encore we're looking for!"
"Kippers and Custard!" Coral exclaimed. "I had an idea!"
"Wow!" Be looked very impressed. "What is it?"
Coral's face fell as she realised something. "I've forgotten," she admitted.
"Oh." Bec looked crestfallen. "I was hoping it was a fanfic idea."
"Bec, we are *living* a J/C fanfic come true here!"
"I know," Bec grinned. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to read more fic!"
Coral smiled too. "Wonder if The Index has updated yet?"
"I take it you mean the J/C index?" Bec asked, gulping down the last of her coffee.
"Of *course*! What else deserves that title?" Coral said, and sighed dreamily. "All that fic..."
"So, about this idea..." Bec prompted as Coral mind started to wander into the realm of ficciness. "Can't you access your memory to find out what it was?"
"Good idea!" Coral said, and flipped open her tricorder. She tapped a few buttons and established a link between the tricorder and her home computer. Bringing up file manager, she entered a search word of 'idea', and scowled at the screen when it said it could take up to an hour to search. "Stupid Canadian Computer!" she muttered, and told it to begin the search.
"It looks like we have some time to waste, then?" Bec asked wryly.
"Yeppers," Coral acknowledged. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pile of polaroid snaps, the ones they'd taken earlier on the bridge, and she began to brighten up. "They're together at last!"
"I know," Bec said with a grin. "And we helped... in a way!"
Coral got a mischevious glint in her eye. "So, the gung-ho J/Cers won out after all..." she laughed.
"The rifles!" Bec suddenly yelled, scaring the life out of Coral. "Bertha!" She jumped to her feet and ran around the messhall, desperately searching for her beloved rifle. "Where is she, where is she?"
Coral jumped to her feet too, and retrieved Bella from where she had thrown her earlier. "Our poor rifles," she lamented, gently cradling Bella. "My poor baby."
In the midst of her own despair, Bec had to stifle a giggle. But she was soon distracted as she found Bertha lying forlornly on the floor. "Bertha!" she gasped, lovingly picking up the rifle and hugging it tightly. Then she met Coral's eyes, and the two weirdpers burst out laughing.
"Was there any spare Leola in the galley?" Bec asked after they'd both calmed down, and Coral nodded.
"Loads of mouldy stuff."
"Then let's restock!" Bec burst into the galley and started ploughing through the mess in there, creating more of her own as she did so. "I'm sure Neelix has a pureeing machine around here somewhere," she muttered, but her voice was stifled by the pile of junk she was standing in.
Coral waded in, shoving assorted detritus aside as she did so. "Bec, this place is nearly as messy as my room." She paused, then added, "And that's *saying* something..."
"Mh-mfm."
"What was that, Bec?" Coral asked, looking around for some sign of her disappeared daughter. "Bec?"
The top of the junk heap wobbled, and wobbled some more. Finally, like a mole emerging from a new hole, Bec burst forth, waving something in the air above her head.
"Blender!"
Coral's tricorder beeped, prompting a flurry of activity from the weirdpers. They'd spent the last fifteen minutes pureeing Leola Root and eating chocolate, and, in their excitement, had somehow misplaced Coral's tricorder.
"I *promise* on my honour as a WHiMS member, I left it on the table!" Coral said.
"Oh, I believe you," Bec said, her voice once against muffled. This time, though, she was under a table. "But the problem is, where is it *now*!"
Coral flung her hands in the air. "I don't know! If I did, do you think we would be going through this?!"
"I'm not going to argue!" Bec shouted back. "Ah, got it." She wormed out from under the table, the tricorder tightly clutched in one hand. "How come *I* had to go under the table, when it was *your* tricorder?"
"You're smaller..." Coral pointed out with a wry smile. "Has it completed the search?"
Bec quickly flicked through the screens. "It has." She handed the precious device to Coral and brushed the dust off her uniform.
Deftly manipulating the controls, Coral accessed the ideas file. "Here it is!" she exclaimed. "My idea!"
"And...?"
"Be patient... ah. Invite all the JetCers to the party."
Bec popped a chocolate in her mouth and chewed it over. "Know what I think of that idea, Coral?"
"What?"
"Gooooood one!"
~#~#~

"This is amazing," Bec murmered happily.
"What? That we managed to get all JetCJr groups here?" Coral asked.
"Actually, I was talking about the cake," Bec giggled. "But it *is* pretty amazing to get all the JetCjr groups and JCUKjnr here."
"I know," Coral sighed.
"And you know what's even more amazing?" Bec asked.
"No," Coral said.
"It was *your* idea," Bec said. Coral stared dreamily into space.
"Wow," she said. "Next thing you know, I'll have a brain."
"You do," Bec told her. "It's called your computer, remember?"
Coral started giggling. "Or, in this case, my tricorder!"
Bec started laughing too. She was about to say something, when Kathryn Janeway stood up.
"Can I have everyone's attention, please?" Kathryn asked.
All the JetCers immediately became silent, and focused on Kathryn.
"As it's an engagement dinner, it's traditional to have speeches," she began. "So without further ado, I give you Chakotay."
The speeches were all boring. Chakotay, Tuvok, Neelix. Bec and Coral had decided that the only one they wanted to hear was Tom's, because he had a tendency to be funny. And finally it was his turn.
"Now," Tom began. "I'm not going to talk about the Captain and Commander's wedding." A surprised gasp went through the room, amongst the J/Cers. What else could anyone talk about at a time like this? "Instead, I'm going to make an announcement."
Bec suddenly looked at Coral. "It might be..." she trailed off as Sky walked over.
"Hey guys," Sky whispered, finding a seat next to Bec. She grabbed a bread roll, and was about to eat it, when Tom Paris spoke.
"B'Elanna and I are getting married."
Sky squashed the bread roll in her hand tightly, using it as a stress reliever. It soon was a solid ball of a doughy like substance.
"Not only that," Tom continued. "B'Elanna's pregnant."
The room burst into cheers, apart from Sky, who looked physically sick, and was squashing the bread roll even harder.
"That bread roll must have done something very bad in a past life," Coral joked, looking at the punishment it was getting from Sky.
Kathryn Janeway stood up. "That's wonderful news Tom. Congratulations, B'Elanna. Tell me, have you thought of any names yet?"
"Well," B'Elanna said, joining him on stage. "For a boy, we're considering Craig Benton Paris. And for a girl, possibly Sky Trillium Paris."
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," Sky screamed loudly. The entire room turned to face Sky, who giggled nervously.
"She means yay!" Bec said helpfully, while Sky fought for a tissue. Everyone seemed to accept this as an explanation. And, with the speeches over, the party resumed.
"Coral, can I borrow your tricorder?" Bec asked suddenly.
"If you're referring to my brain," Coral began. "Sures." She handed the tricorder over to Bec, who began to scan the room for chocolate.
"Damn Canadian Computer," Bec yelled loudly at the tricorder.
"Crash?" Quin asked, walking past. When Bec nodded, she said, "I told you to watch out for 'em."
Bec burst out into laughter, and hit the tricorder.
"Ow," Coral yelled.
"Oooh, sorry," Bec said, apologetically. "I forgot it was also your brain. Are you OK?"
"I'll live," Coral said. "I think I had a fanfic idea though."
"Oh yeah?" Bec said, interested.
"I'll tell you later," Coral said. She whispered in Bec's ear. "When there aren't so many BB fans around."
Bec giggled. "OK," she agreed. "I can't wait to write some fanfic when I get back. I just hope I get inspired."
"Me too," Coral said. "But if this doesn't inspire me to write fanfic, I don't know what will." She gestured around the room. Bec giggled.
Coral turned around, and looked over towards Jenna from JetCJr9's corner, where she was dressed in black, and was having a Michael memorial service. "Michael liker," she said, insultingly.
The 2 girls watched as Hejira went and joined Jenna.
"They're mental," Bec decided. "There's just no other explanation."
"I know," Coral said. "Hang on..." she looked confused. "Bec, I think I'm having a thought."
"Really?" Bec asked. "What?"
Coral looked at Bec worriedly. "Uh...no one told Hej and Jenna that *we* killed Michael, right?"
"I sure hope not," Bec said. "Otherwise we're practically already dead."
"Well, never mind," Coral said. "We've got Bella and Bertha, fully topped up with leo-" She cut herself off, as Neelix walked past them, scratching his head.
Bec and Coral both suddenly felt very sick.
"Coral?" Bec said anxiously. "I...I can't forget live nude talaxians."
"Just don't think about it," Coral said, trying not to think about the disgusting images herself.
Bec shuddered. "Hey, look," she said, looking towards Kathryn Janeway. The JetCers were all crowding Janeway and Chakotay for autographs.
"And we thought *we* were obsessed!" Coral laughed.
"Uh, Coral?" Bec said. "We *are* obsessed. We got our autographs earlier, along with the polaroids."
"Oh yeah." Coral stopped laughing. Neelix walked by again, and the girls shuddered, remembering the hilarious, yet terrifying drabble about Live Nude Talaxians.
"Mr Paris, you haven't seen my blender?" Neelix asked. "I'm purreing leola root for my cake mixture."
Bec and Coral looked at each other, not waiting to hear Tom's reply.
"Tribbles," Coral exclaimed. "Leola root, in a wedding cake?"
"Coral, I think it's time for one last mission," Bec said. "We've just *got* to get rid of that leola root."
"Agreed," Coral said, as she and Bec stood up, and crept off to the kitchen. Bec looked around.
"My god," she said. "Look at all this leola root. I feel sorry for the poor Captain. This would wreck her wedding."
"Well, it won't," Coral declared. "Because we're getting rid of it right now." She gathered the leola root into a pile, and stood up. She tapped her comn badge.
"Coral to Naazia."
"Naazia here, what is it Coral?"
"Bec and I have some leola root that needs beaming off the ship. Think you can hack into the main computer?"
"I'll give it a try. Naazia out."
"What now?" Bec asked.
"We wait," Coral said. She looked at the pile of leola root. "I can't believe how much leola root he has."
"I know," Bec said. She gazed up at the teetering pile of leola root, stacked so high it touched the ceiling. "It's the Mount Everest of the Leola root world."
Coral giggled, and then smiled happily as it all dematerialised. "OK," she said. "Our final mission is over."
"Yeah, but weirdp is *never* over," Bec insisted. "It's a way of life...it's who we are. It's a part of our identity, Coral. We can't excape. And I don't think I'd ever want to."
"I know, me neither," Coral agreed. "Weirdp isn't just a word. It's us. It's who we are...you're right, it's a part of us forever."
Bec smiled, and she hugged Coral.
"Trust us to pick the weirdest place imaginable to get all sentimental," Bec said, half giggling, half crying.
Coral laughed. "Neelix's galley! Doesn't get much weirder than this." She paused. "Or would that be that it doesn't get weirdper than this!"
Bec burst out laughing. "Come on," she said. "Let's stop getting all meaningful, and go enjoy the party."
They walked back out into the main room. Already the party had livened up. Helen and Charon were leading the dance floor in 'Tragedy,' Ellie was, for some strange reason, bouncing around the room on a pogo stick, and Annika was helping herself to the champagne.
"One more mission?" Coral asked. "Please, Bec?"
"Sure," Bec agreed. "What is it?"
Coral grinned. "I want a piece of Captain Janeway's hair," she confided. "Please. It would make me *so* happy."
Bec sighed. "You're obsessed," she said.
"Is that a yes?" Coral asked hopefully. Bec nodded, and the two set off towards the Captain and Chakotay.
"So how do we get the hair?" Bec whispered. "I don't think she'll just let you have a bit."
"No," Coral said. "I know *exactly* how to get the hair." She smiled, and waited until the Captain was distracted, kissing Chakotay. Then she leaned in, and carefully snipped a piece of hair.
Smiling, Coral moved back towards Bec, and they suddenly began to move away, when...
"Halt," Tuvok demanded. "Why have you taken a piece of the Captain's hair?"
"We have a reason," Coral said. She flipped open her tricorder, trying to think of a reason.
"Which is?" Tuvok asked.
Bec brought Bertha, her mega leola root rifle out. "This is loaded," she told Tuvok. "With mouldy leola root. And it's set to concentrated, pure, leola. Let us go. Now." With that, she waved the leola root rifle around violently.
"You have no reason to fire," Tuvok said. "It is not logical."
"I'll give you logic," Coral said, taking the weapon from Bec. "I'm willing to fire."
Suddenly, Tuvok dematerialised. Bec and Coral looked at each other, confused. They glanced around the room, to see Naazia, computer hacker extraudinare, standing by a console, and grinning wildly.
"She didn't?" Bec asked.
"She did," Coral smiled, waving at Naazia across the messhall. "She beamed him out, and now I get to keep the hair!" She broke out into a weirdp dance in the middle off the messhall, and was soon joined by Bec.
Exhasted, the two girls sat down, and grabbed some more of the gorgeous triple chocolate engagement cake.
"So," Coral said. "The mission to destroy Michael has come to an end."
"I can't believe it's over," Bec said. "The whole mission...it's completed with."
"I know," Coral said. "Still, weirdp is forever!"
Bec giggled. "Hey," she said. "We should get a *new* mission statement. But not a 'mission' statement. A weirdp statement."
"Yeah," Coral said. "Uh, how about 'Weirdp, the final frontier. These are the Voyages of Coralie and Bec. Our ongoing mission, to be strange weirdp's. To seek out new coffee, and new fanfiction. To boldly be even weirdper than ever before!"
"Perfect," Bec said, dancing happily on her chair.
Coral joined her, dancing on her own chair.
Suddenly, Bec squealed. "Greased lightening," she cried. "They're playing Greased Lightening."
"Come on," Coral said, pulling her daughter off her chair, and jumping off herself. They headed for the dance floor, and burst out into song.
"Go D-Flyer, you can really do it tonight,
D-Flyer! Go D-Flyer!
We'll add dynametric tail fins tonight,
D-Flyer! Go D-Flyer!
You look smooth!
You look mean!
Oh D-Flyer!"
"Sky made that up didn't she?" Bec asked.
"I think so," Coral grinned. "Come on. Back to the table."
"Hey look," Bec said. "Kathryn and Chakotay are kissing again!"
"Yay!" Coral said. They huggled, and then ate even more cake.
"I hope there aren't too many calories in this thing," Bec said, grabbing yet another slice of the delicious cake.
"I've never met a calorie I didn't like!" Coral declared. Bec grinned.
"Me neither."
Suddenly Laura rushed over. "You guys, Becci's organised a mass viewing of Resolutions in the corner. Do you wanna come?"
"Shall we?" Bec asked Coral.
"You don't understand," Laura continued excitedly, before Coral had a chance to reply. "It's the uncut version...the one with 'The Kiss.'"
"Yay!" Coral and Bec screamed simultaneously.
"Psycho," Coral grinned.
"So are you too coming, or not?" Laura asked.
"Of course we are!" Bec yelled, jumping over the back of her chair, and racing to the corner, followed swiftly by Coral.
~#~#~
"That was brilliant!" Coral gushed, happily. "That was *so* sweet. The best thing I ever saw!"
"I *know*," Bec agreed. "I cried *so* much!"
"From happiness, right?"
"Duh!" Bec managed to say between tears.
"Awwww," Coral said, hugging her. The 2 girls made their way back to the table. Since most of the J/Cers had been watching the Resolutions uncut episode, the dance floor was very empty. Naomi and Mezoti were dancing together.
"Awww, sweet," Bec remarked. "That's *so* cute!"
"I know," Coral said. "But what are they doing now?" Naomi and Mezoti had climbed up onto the stage, and had taken control of the microphone.
"May we please have your attention?" Naomi requested. All eyes in the room turned to look at the 2 small girls.
"Thank you," Mezoti said. Naomi Wildman took the microphone back.
"We want to wish Auntie Kathryn and Uncle Chakotay a happy life together," she said. Lots of 'Awww's filled the room. Naomi continued, looking out into the assembled crowd. "Uncle Joe, would you dance with my mummy please?" A chorus of "awwwwwws!", mainly from Coral, Ellie and Bec, greeted this statement. "And we also want to know where Seven of Nine is. If anyone knows, can they please tell us. Thank you."
The 2 girls stepped off the stage, and the music resumed.
"That was sweet," Coral said, noting Sam and Carey dancing together. "Apart from the 'Seffen' bit." She scowled at the mention of the borg bimbo.
"Any reason you hate Seffen so much?" Mel asked, overhearing.
"Aside from her mere existence?" Coral replied. "No, not really."
"Shall we tell Mezoti and Naomi where she is?" Bec asked.
"Nah!" Coral said. "They might let her out. We can't risk it, Bec."
"OK," Bec said. "Besides, they seem to be having fun without her."
They looked over to where the two children were playing happily with My Little Ponies.
"I used to *love* them," Bec sighed. "My little ponies. Applejack, Majesty-"
"Clover, Sundance," Coral continued.
"Medley, Cherry Jubilee," Bec went on.
"Bright Eyes," they both said at exactly the same time.
"Psycho," Coral said, in the tradition between her and Bec.
"I actually wrote a fic involving them," Coral said.
"I know, I read it," Bec said. "Your fic *is* better than mine, by the way."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Mummy, stop arguing with me."
Coral giggled. "OK, it's a wonderful day, we can't possibly argue over who's fanfic is best."
"OK," Bec agreed.
"What were we talking about?" Coral asked, as her memory failed her.
"My little pony, there's no place like ponyland," Bec sang happily remembering all her My little ponies.
"Hey," Coral said, suddenly having an idea. "As you're in a singing mood, why don't we do some Karaoke?"
"No," Bec said. "Unless you want the windows to break, and us to be sucked into the vacumn of space."
"Your singing isn't *that* bad," Coral told her daughter.
"Oh yes it is," Bec sighed.
"Come on," Coral said, giving up hope of negotiation, and pulling Bec to her feet, and onto the stage.
"Coral, no," Bec hissed. But it was too late.
"Ladies and gentlemen, may we have your attention," Coral yelled. "We're the weirdpers, Coral and Bec, and we just want to say, it's been great to meet you all."
The room burst into applause. Bec managed a small smile, and grabbed the microphone off of Coral.
"We just want to dedicate this song," Bec said. "To Janeway and Chakotay. And to Weirdp! But especially to our E-groups, JetCJr9 and JCUKjnr. If we didn't have you guys, we'd go crazy."
"Would we notice a difference?" someone (probably Ellie) yelled from the audience. Bec and Coral giggled and Coral grabbed the microphone from Bec.
"And now," she paused. "Computer, play musical selection, abba5."
The computer began to play 'Thank you for the music,' by ABBA. Coral and Bec shared a smile. They knew what the song was.
They began to sing.

"I'm something special. In fact, I'm a bit of a weirdper.
If I tell a joke, you probably won't get it at all.
But I have some talent, a wonderful thing."
My C/W index is a very great thing
I'm so happy and proud.
All I want is to read fanfic out loud.

So I say thank you for the fanfic,
The stories I'm reading.
Thanks for all, the joy they're bringing.
Who can live without fic?
I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a French kiss between J and C,
So I say thank you for the fanfic,
For E-mailing it to me.

Mother says I was a typer before I could use a fork.
Mmhhmmm she says I began to say 'fic' before I said 'dog.'
I've often wondered, how did fic all start?
Who found out that nothing can capture a girls heart
Like a fanfiction can.
Well whoever it was, I'm a fan

I've been so lucky, I have just found some good good fic
I want to sing it out to every weirdp
What a fic
What a plot
What Romaaaaaance

Coral and Bec looked at each other as the crowd went wild! The changed ending to the song was totally unplanned, it just…happened.
"Psycho," Coral decided.
"Well said, Mummy," Bec agreed.
Coral looked down at the cheering audience. "I think we'd better get off the stage," she said.
"Hang on," Bec said. "Theres one more thing we need to say."
Realisation dawned on Coral. "You're right," she exclaimed.
She picked the microphone up, and pulled it between her and Bec.
"Uh, we'd just like to say a final word," Bec said.
They paused. Then they spoke. Or rather, screamed.
"WEIRDP FOR EVER!!!"