air manipulation - any tactic that involves changing the air surrounding the ball to create unique effects on the ball, i.e. blustery day, hurricane.
blindfold - blocking one's vision with your hand, paddle, or baby's head.
blustery day - blowing on the ball with air. One of the most powerful moves known to Pang.
cat 5 - short for "category 5", refers to an extremely powerful hurricane (see hurricane).
chinese fire drill - running a circle around the entire playing surface while your opponent has the ball.
debris - blowing the baby's head off towards the ball so that the opponent has to fight through debris to control the ball.
door jam - player on bulletin-board side hits the ball so close to the door jam that the defensive player doesn't know whether the ball will hit the door, go outside, or BOTH!
extended playing field - nuance of the game that involves placing the baby's head partially off the edge of the surface. This now becomes part of the surface and can be used to score points off of.
flipper - (1) attempting to play the ball off of one's nose. (2) standing under the ball and blowing it straight up in the air.
hurdle - jumping over the playing surface into the opponent's territory, then jumping back.
hurricane - using the paddle to create a gust of wind that moves the ball. One of the most powerful moves known to Pang.
making a pizza - putting lots of forward-spin on the ball before hitting it to your opponent.
ninja - running up to the surface from another room, screaming like a ninja, and then serving the ball.
paparazzi - repetitively putting your hand and paddle close to the eyes of the opponent, while simultaneously making "camera flash" sounds.
phantom - turning off the lights during a point.
rainbow - a high-arcing shot that lands on the table.
sexy schoolgirl - similar to the Ninja, server runs toward the table from outside the room, produces a "sexy schoolgirl laugh", then serves the ball.
shield - tactic used by the offensive player that involves sticking one's arm out to defend attacks.
stunt - returning the ball immediately after it is hit at you, usually off of a serve.
sweep - using the paddle like a broom to literally "sweep" the ball off the playing surface. The ball can be swept with any amount of force. The most risky maneuver in Pang.
tomahawk - defensive player hovers over offensive player with paddle, waiting for the opportune time to strike. When that time comes, defensive player slices the paddle downward, with a quick motion of the wrist, confusing the other player, and possibly causing air manipulation.
trap door - blowing the baby's head AND the Pang ball such that the baby's head opens up like a door, the ball falls in for a LOG, and the baby's head falls back down over the hole.
umbrella - covering the ball, i.e. with the paddle, so that the opponent cannot see it.
walking the dog - rolling ball across the entire playing surface.
wraparound - pulling a 360 while having control of the ball.
ILLEGAL TACTICS:
charge - excessive physical contact by the offensive player.
rainy day - (1) blustery day to the opponent's face. (2) releasing spittle that lands on the opponent during a blustery day. Both are illegal maneuvers.
sacrilegious tactic - something that is considered bad sportsmanship during a game of Pang. Examples include the rainy day (see rainy day), and calling the game "Pong."
SPITES:
any of various moves in which a player "spites" another player by performing an "advanced maneuver" during the course of a point.
kiss of death - player who is about to win hits the ball above their own face, kisses it, then returns it to the player. This move is commonly heralded as the most cocky move known to Pang.
knee spite - intentionally hitting the ball off of one's knee or quadricep muscle during a point.
refrigerator spite - intentionally hitting the ball off the refrigerator during a point.
shoe spite - kicking the ball up off one's foot, like a hacky sack, during the course of a point.
wall spite - intentionally hitting the ball off of a wall during the course of a point.
watch spite - looking at one's wristwatch while also controlling the ball. This watch may be real or imaginary.
XBOX - pulling a 360 while the ball is in the air.
VARIATIONS:
Canadian pang - two players versus one. It is extremely difficult for the two-player team (Canadians) to beat the single player (American).
crossfire - Two games of Pang are played at once, one horizontally, the other vertically. When one game is complete, the scores are added together to determine the winning team.
French pang - One player (the French player) starts the game with a certain number of free points. Works like a handicap.
Pang Horse - played like a game of "Horse" with basketballs. Players alternate by attempting to perform their own tricky Pang plays. Failure to complete a previously made move by the opponent will result that person gaining a letter. Once a player has spelled H-O-R-S-E, he or she has been eliminated from the game.
QuadraPang - a 2x2 grid of Pang surfaces is setup. Regular Pang, or any other variation can be played on this surface. Also known as Big Pang.
Russian pang - three players versus one. It is extremely difficult for the three-player team (Russians) to beat the single player (American).
round robin - a tricky game of Pang that involves complete concentration. Four or more players are needed to play. The game is played like a regular game of Pang except that the single player "rotates" after each change of possession.
team pang - Instead of 1 on 1 Pang, there are teams, usually of 2 players. Players on a team must hit the ball back and forth before attempting to score a point.
THE ARENA:
baby's head - the thick sheet of paper that covers the circular hole on top the recycling bin.
big board - grid of statistics that all game results are logged onto. Tacked onto the bulletin board.
big LOG - the large LOG in the corner of the room next to the door.
Big Pad, The - foam playing surface developed by Al. Creates a quieter and bouncier variation of Pang.
clog - removable center of The Big Pad.
far LOG - the original LOG on the far side of the room. No one knows where it went. Rumor has it that Manager N. Patel stole it as his last act of anti-Pang.
new LOG - the LOG on the far side of the room. It randomly appeared one day.
Manager N. Patel - Pang's greatest enemy. According to legend, he once threw the playing surface.
Outside LOG - the thin blue LOG outside the lounge. Has never been hit into during a game.
pedestrian - people who are watching the game or walking by.
rack - a white metal rack that gets placed on the surface if the game reaches a 15-15 score.
Sun - the primary light over the playing surface. It is very difficult to play the ball out of the Sun.
GAME FUNDAMENTALS:
BEM - to align the playing field so that it complies with the regulations of a certain arena. Stands for "Before Entering Match."
dead-man's serve - when a player reaches 10 points, the trailing opponent serves until the game ends or reaches overtime.
dotting-the-I - hitting the Pang ball off the orange dot. Players will claim that "it dotted" if they believe the ball hit the dot.
fault - an illegal serve that does not result in a LOP. Two consecutive faults result in a LOP.
freeze - ball completely stops moving before the point ends.
interference - obstructing the fair play of the opponent.
Lei Pang - when a game of Pang reaches the score 20-20, each player must put on 15 leis, which are housed beneath the desk. Each time a player loses a point, he or she must add another lei. Being that Rack Pang continues throughout Lei Pang, games which progress to Lei Pang become increasingly intense with each point scored. It gets pretty crazy. Dogs bark. Note: Touching the leis around one's neck during the course of a point will result in a LOP.
LOG - loss of game. Most often committed by hitting the ball into a trash receptacle (also known as a LOG), or by crushing the ball.
LOG burp - gust of "recycled" air that emanates from the small LOG upon replacement of the lid. Also known as LOG juice, LOG air, or LOG breath.
LOG dance - performed after opponent commits a LOG. Accomplished by wiggling fingers under your chin while smiling widely.
LOP - loss of point.
MWPF - messing with playing field. Touching the playing surface with any part of your body, or anything connected to your body.
NOG - short for a "non-LOG," a NOG can be issued whenever the ball LOGs but the cause of LOG can not be attributed to either player.
overtime - begins if the score is tied 10-10. Play continues indefinitely until a player obtains a two-point lead.
rack Pang - rare occurrence of Pang. When the score is tied 15-15, the Pang rack is placed onto the playing surface, causing additional difficulty to each player. This notion has been once rejected by the PPA, but is facing another vote.
sideice - pronounced "side-iss", a player may declare this after a volley to announce what side they would like to play from.
smash - hitting the ball too hard. Being called out for a smash three times in one game results in a LOG.
submit - 1) giving the baby's head to the someone or something. The ball can submitted to the referee during overtime, or submitted to the LOG if it falls in.
swish - when a player LOGS and the ball makes no contact with the edges of the LOG Receptacle. Swishing on a serve during overtime is considered the most humiliating occurrence in Pang.
tea time - unfathomably rare event that occurs if the game reaches a 25-25 score. It has only legitamitely happened once, in a 27-25 between Andy and Nick.
timeout - a temporary stoppage of play that can be called up to three times per game by either player.
volley - the opening point of a game. Determines who will serve first and who gets to choose a side.
MISC:
amendment - a formal change to the rules of Pang. Voted on by the PPA (see PPA).
APP - Association of Pang Players. The typical APP player is more power-oriented.
bill of rights - the first ten amendments to the Pang constitution.
Derek Jeter Training Ball - a remarkably strange quality of Pang ball. It is crushable, yet at the same time, indestructable. Named for its similarity to a product known as the "Derek Jeter Reaction Ball," playing with this Pang ball develops eye/hand coordination, and generation II Pang skills.
gen II - short for "generation two", refers to a higher level of Pang that may appear confusing to new players and fans.
hero's paddle - an all-wood paddle that makes a loud noise when making contact with the playing surface. A true heroic Pang player is not afraid of being called for the MWPF, and thus uses the hero's paddle.
pang-demonium - playoff Pang.
PaPPA-Nutt - select group of four purist Pang players. These players are more finesse-oriented, focusing primarily on trickery and air manipulation. The members include Steve, Andy, Drew, and Nick. The first three players come from Pennsylvania, and Nick (known as Nutt) does not. So the Pennsylvania Pang Players Assocation + Nutt became the PaPPA-Nutt.
PGC - Pang Gaming Commission. This select group of Pang experts is responsible for deciding the status of all unplayed games at the end of a season. The PGC has the authority to dole out LOGs or NOGs wherever at their disgression.
PPA - Ping Pang Assocation. Includes any player who has participated in a prior Pang season AND the current Pang season.
PPPA - Ping Pang Players Association. Includes anyone who has ever played Pang.
total, 88 terms.
