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Daren was a first round draft pick, but then retired before the season started. He felt that it would not be fair to put his manhood on display. "It would have been nice to have this kid on the team, but he just didn't want to play anymore. I can't believe that Daren will be done will softball forever. It's a real shame," Ben Riessen. Daren is expected to take on the bat boy duties at the games however. His contract also states that he may have to give the occasional rub-down or reach around if the situation arrises. His wit and drinking ability will be tested this season. "I am not worried about what people will think. I know there was some disappointment from the fans, but fuck em. They can suck it. All I want to do now is have some beer and have some beer. If there is a few laughs along the way, then so be it. I mean, the whole team will laugh when we play a certain team. It will be hilarious to watch that kid crying in the outfield as balls fly over his head. Besides, the more time I spend drinking, the better the Dugout girls will look, and that's what's really important. The women. How much for your women, I want to buy your women. Yo Ho!" |
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