I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it -- just the thousands out there
marked occupant.
I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States, but I would be twice as proud
for half the money.
I'm so cool I can hardly bear to gaze upon my wonderful contenance in the morning
but it does get easier with age and wisdom.
I'm so far behind, I think I'm first.
I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention.
I'm taking last week back to the store, and I won't even ask for a refund.
Imagery is all in the mind.
Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.
In America, anyone can become president.That's one of the risks you take.
In case of fire, yell FIRE !!!
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
In my life, I have prayed but one prayer, Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous .
And God granted it.
I've never had a flashback I didn't enjoy.
I've never not had any money so much in my life.
I've written a few children's books, but not on purpose.
Tact is for weenies.
Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
That which does not kill me had better be able to run away damn fast.
The Bill of Rights goes too far -- it should have stopped at Congress shall make
no law.
The conservation movement is a breeding ground of Communists and other sub-
versives.We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up every
bird watcher in the country. - Attorney General John Mitchell
The cow ate bluegrass and mooed indigo.
The creation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance
It's a fine night to have an evening.
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
It's a small world, but I would hate to have to paint it.
It's always darkest just before the lights go out.
It's amazing how long it takes to finish something you're not working on.
It's amazing how mature wisdom resembles being too tired.
It's better to trip and end up on the floor, than to not trip and end up onthe floor for
no particular reason. ( I CAN ATTEST TO THAT ONE!)
It's hard to be James Bond in an Abbott and Costello world.
It's hard to predict the future, when they keep changing the past.
because you eat the only witnesses.
It's impossible to solve a problem with the consciousness that created it.
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
It''s like brother Nietzsche said - being human is a complicated gig, so give the
dark light of the soul a hug and a howl.
It's not that I don't believe in the system.It's that I don't believe that there *is* a
system.
It's possible to make the right mistake.
It's possible to use karate against a swarm of plankton, but it won't help.
It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.
It's tourist season in Florida - bag limit two.
In the begining there was nothing, and God said, Let there be Light .And there
was still nothing, but at least you could see it.
In the struggle between you and the world, back the world.
I'm the world's foremost authority on my own opinion.
In this world it rains on the Just and on the Unjust, but the Unjust have the justs
; umbrellas.
Instead of using a loom, we're going to wind all the yarn into balls and adopt an
infinite number of kittens.
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?
Is the world full of smart people pretending, or imbeciles who mean it?
It gets really lonely as a moderate activist, standing alone with a sign that reads,
Reasonable, informed discussion of the issues as soon as is feasible.
It takes all kinds of people to make a world, but did you ever think the percentages
were wrong?
If things were left to chance, things would be better.
If today is the first day of the rest of your life, then what the hell was yesterday?
If we aren't suppossed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
If we can build a space shuttle, why can't we build a decent mattress handle?
If we weren't all a little crazy, we'd go nuts.
If words could speak, I wonder what they would say?
If you can't make someone happy, make them a chocolate fudge cake.
If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
If you can't trust a woman with a choice, how can you trust her with a baby?
If you don't believe in angels, you haven't heard me singIf you don't believe in
demons, you haven't heard me snore.
Dear God..I had to put a new roof on my house after she left...don't tell her that
though..she may not come back, and I need my foundation shifted a bit to
make it even)
The Fruit of Silence is Prayer
The Fruit of Prayer is Faith
The Fruit of Faith is Love
The Fruit of Love is Service
The Fruit of Service is Peace.
