As you know, June 9th, I applied for my passport and paid thru the nose to be certain it would get back to in plenty of time. I send them my birth cert, money, all the properly filled out forms, etc.

Today, I get a letter from them. It seems that the OFFICIAL, CERTIFIED, STATE ISSUED birth cert I sent them is "Unacceptable". They want me to send them a "long form". WTF IS A LONG FORM!?!?!?!!? The piece of paper I've been carrying around for the last 13+ years has been PERFECTLY GOOD in proving who I am!! It says right across the top, "Certificate of Birth".

So anyway. The ever so "helpful" passport office sends me an order form for my birth cert too! Oh goody! I WAS BORN IN CALIFORNIA!!! 3000 *&^%$# miles away!!! I get online and order one and even tho the absolute best they can do is Fed Ex me one, the fastest they can get it processed is 3-5 days. I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH TIME!!! I shell out the $40 anyway and am going to call them bright and early Monday to make sure they send me this "long form". If they send me the exact same thing I had.... *goes incoherant*

The lady at the office I filled the forms out for even looked at my birth cert and told me it was fine. She never mentioned that it wasn't the "long form".

Someone's head is going to roll. My friends in London are standing to lose a total of about $1000 over this. Everything was lined up, in perfect order, I did everything I was supposed to to ensure this went smoothly and the &^%$# US GOVERNMENT F***S ME OVER!!!!

Why did they wait until the 2 weeks was almost up before telling me this?!? They composed that stupid letter on the 16th! Why didn't they call me!?!? They have my phone number! It says right there on my app that my flight leaves July 1!!! HAVE THEY NO CONCEPT OF TIME AND URGENCY!?!?!!?

OH!! And speaking of phone numbers, if there is an emergency, I can call the Passport Headquarters. On a 900 number. For $1.50 A MINUTE!! With an average wait time of 15-30 MINUTES!!! ARGH!!!!!

WHY!?!? Why can't things just go smoothly for me? Why can't it just happen with no stress, no stupid crap to struggle through. I'm so frustrated. Terre and Tony can't get their money back if I can't get my passport in time. I just want to go to London, have a good time, forget all the @!#$ of my life for a few days and just enjoy myself.

I'm so frustrated and depressed and I just want to cry. I want to shoot something.

Damn them.

Monday, June 23rd
Part 2: "Operation Passport Warpath has been executed"

Here's the skinny. After having a massive nervous breakdown all weekend and putting together my battle plan, (ie. putting on face paint and gather my arrows) I got up bright and early today and started making phone calls. Spent a lot more time on the phone than I could have ever imagined and came up with this.

The state of Ca is overnighting two official, long form birth cert's to me. They will be here by noon tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I overnight one of these birth cert's to New Orleans, where my passport application is. Apparently, you send it to Pa and they take out the money before forwarding your stuff to New Orleans. Anyway, BC is getting overnighted to New Orleans via UPS with a paid return UPS overnight envelope to be returned to my friend's office building.

Thursday. Court. *Sigh*

If, by Sat, there is no passport in my hands, I'm taking my 2nd copy of Birth Cert and my sister in law and my nephews and I are driving to Philly on Sunday. Staying at my friend's house about an hour North of DC Sunday night.

Monday. We go to walk-in emergancy passport office and show them my itenerary that says I'm flying out of Charlotte the NEXT DAY and throw myself at their mercy.

In the event that my passport arrives Monday while I'm in Philly, I am leaving my sister in law's cell phone number with them so they can call me if it arrives. Then we'll just turn around and head back to NC.

Complicated? Yes. A lot of trouble? Hell yes. Worth it in the end? Definitely. I'm not going down without exhausting every possible means. There's no way I'm going to let the money Terre and Tony have spent on this trip go to waste.

Tuesday, June 24th
Part 3: "Phase Two has been initiated"

My birth cert's arrived today about 1:15pm and I immediately sent one of them off to New Orleans via UPS Overnight. It -will- be delivered by 10:30am tomorrow. I included an overnight UPS envelope as well including a hand written note to PLEASE process IMMEDIATELY and return passport and B.C. with the UPS envelope. I have the tracking number of both envelopes and if it's not sent back to me by Friday, I'm Philly bound. Now the waiting begins.... *gnaws on fingertips*

Friday, June 27th
Part 4: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

as of 7:15pm today, my passport still has not been shipped to me. So, we are Philly bound. (we being myself and my sisnlaw and nephews) We are staying the night at my friend Kasia's in MD Sunday night. I have to be back in NC to board the plane in Charlotte by early Tuesday AM.

Errr... just found out that my flight from NC is at 2:30pm. I fly to Philly and catch a plane from Philly to London. *blink* I'm now on hold with US Airways to see if I can skip the NC to Philly flight and just hop on the plane in Philly. Of course, I could find this out if they would BOTHER TO ANSWER THE PHONE!! I've been on hold for 38 minutes now..... *bangs head on desk*

Prayers? Please? I'm begging... I JUST WANNA GO TO LONDON, I WANNA GO TO AMSTERDAM, I WANNA SEE APOCALYPTICA!!!!! *wailing*

great, now I feel like a kid having a temper tantrum. *sobs*

Saturday, June 28th
Part 5: "The Eagle Has Landed, I Repeat..."

I HAVE MY PASSPORT!!!!!!!

I came home to a little slip in my mailbox saying I had a "large, express mail" envelope. I drove really fast to the post office and bounced in the lobby until they got it for me. On the way to my car I ripped it open and saw "PASSPORT" in bright gold letters on the front.

I did a happy dance jig right in the middle of the street.

I'M GOING TO LONDON!! I'M GOING TO SEE APOCALYPTICA!!!!!

YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!

Thank you all SO MUCH for your prayers, your good vibes and your support.

As an added bonus, I came home just now to see Becki on her cell phone talking in the yard. My brother called from Iraq! I got to talk to him for the 1st time since he left!!