Are you an Engineer?
You might be if...
- You introduce your wife as -mylady@home.wife-
- Your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
- You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
- You want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
- Dilbert is your hero
- You stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
- You can name 6 Star Trek episodes
- The only jokes you receive are through e-mail
- Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
- Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
decimal point in the right place
- You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
- You use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
- You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts
- At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find
the burnt-out bulb in the string
- You window shop at Radio Shack
- Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
- You have -Dilbert- comics displayed anywhere in your work area
- You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that
actually takes five minutes to run
- You are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener
and your camera's flash attachment
- You don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
- You have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
- You know the direction the water swirls when you flush
- You own -Official Star Trek- anything
- You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
- A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna
on the radio in your work area for better reception
- You thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
- You ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
- You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear
reactor
- You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
- You have never backed-up your hard drive
- You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games,
but are afraid to say it out loud
- You truly believe aliens are living among us
- You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
- You have ever purchased an electronic appliance -as-is-
- You see a good design and still have to change it
- The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
- You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
- The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters
your mind
- You own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember
where they are
- You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own
turns bread into charcoal
- You have more toys than your kids
- You need a checklist to turn on the TV
- You have introduced your kids by the wrong name
- Your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
- You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
- Your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
- The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up
to the front to fix it
- You can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
- You have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and
have seen most of the shows already
- You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN
stands for
- Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with
a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up
thinking that was normal
- You know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size
screw driver to use
- You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
- People groan at the party when you pick out the music
- You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time
this week
- People hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
- You did the sound system for your senior prom
- Your checkbook always balances
- Your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
- Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
- You have more friends on the Internet than in real life
- You thought the real heroes of -Apollo 13- were the mission
controllers
- You think your computer looks better without the cover
- You think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn't get
enough sleep
- Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
- You spend more on your home computer than your car
- You know what http:/ stands for
- You've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
- You have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your
garage
- Your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest
satellite weather picture with yours
- Your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory
- Your lap-top computer costs more than your car
- Your 4 basic food groups are:
- Caffeine
- Fat
- Sugar
- Chocolate
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Last modified June 11, 2004 by
Technology Corpse