Are you Growing Old?

You might be if...

• Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
• The gleam in you eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
• You feel like the night before and you haven't been anywhere.
• Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
• You get winded playing chess.
• You join a health club and dont go.
• You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
• Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
• You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
• You look foward to a dull evening.
• Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 years ago today."
• You sit in a rocking-chair and can't get it going.
• You kneees buckle and your belt won't.
• You're 17 around the neck and 42 around the waist.
• You stop looking foward to your next birthday.
• Dialing long-distance wears you out.
• Your back goes out more than you do.
• A fortune teller offers to read your face.
• You turn out the lights for economic reason rather than romantic ones.
• You remember today, that yesterday was your wedding anniversary.
• You burn the midnight oil after 9 pm.
• You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
• Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl walk by.
• You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercise.
• You get too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
• The best part of your day is over when the alarm goes off.

Back to Humor Home Last modified June 11, 2004 by Technology Corpse