| Childhood TV |
| Bod - Arguably, this was the single most disturbing television show ever created for children and emotionally-unstable adults. This was a very strange show. The show centers around a character named "Bod". Bod is a small, bald boy who wears a yellow dress. Talk about a weird show. Like most kids shows, written by adults, they tended to tell stories that were full of inconsistencies. It's the typical thing of adults underestimating the intelligence of kids. We were young, not stupid. This show, funnily enough, is one of my favorite memories. The characters would sometimes just start staring at you and not say anything, as if you were being prompted for your thoughts. Very disturbing. The animation was terrible but the music was catchy. Everytime a regular character appeared they played the characters theme song. Cool 70's music. Farmer Barleymow was really cool. Bod lived with Aunt Flo. I didn't like her. PC Copper was scary. Frank the Postman was cool, but he kept losing letters. The narrator John Le Mesurier was very cool. Cool voice, very mellow. |
| Fingerbobs - Talk about a weird f*ckin' show. This geezer named Yoffy, who always wore a teal wool sweater, had basically finger puppets. Yep, you read it right...fingerpuppets. Typical British entertainment; a buddhist f*ckin' about with a grey mouse on one hand and a pink anteater on the other. To be fair, the show was somewhat soothing. The fingerbobs would collect items for the story Yoffy was about to tell. Interesting concept, but all very 70's. I must add that the seventies was a great time to grow up. Very relaxed. Fingerbobs (right) wasn't a favorite of mine, but it makes me laugh when I think about it. Mick Fleetwood hosted? |
| I grew up in England, in a suburb of London, the county of Bedfordshire to be precise. Looking back I'd say it was quite a nice childhood. For more intelligent readers Bedfordshire is the agricultural capital of England; for the feeble-minded reader it means we grow things. My formative years were the 1970's. At that time in England there was quite a Children's TV revolution. There was an idea of "Playschool"; basically the concept was to put entertaining yet educational TV shows on for children with the idea that the "stay-at-home" mother would be there to explain some of the ideas, concepts, ethics, symbols of the show. Before I go on, I'd like to thank those British TV executives who put on those "educational" shows, I can't be sure of their educational value but they certainly filled me with amusing and bizarre memories. As a result of this TV experiment my head is now muddled with Eastern zen philosophies. England was a strange place in the seventies and the TV shows they put on were particularly odd, bizarre, disturbing, scary, amusing for all the wrong reasons, devoid of believeable special effects etc. I have listed my thoughts, comments, pics and links to the shows I best remember. We shall explore: |
| A project dedicated to understanding the effects of 1970's British TV on my development as a child. |
| Ludwig - The award for weirdest cartoon of all time must go to Ludwig. A mechanical egg-shaped thing, who could open up panels in his shell and produce various items that would help him in his adventures. The program would start with him flying in a helicopter fashion and featured classical background music.. Foreign nonsense, that usually resulted in disappointment. |
| Mr Benn - The cartoon features a suited businessman who visits a magical shop, puts on a fancy dress outfit and walks into a strange new world and has an adventure. The rich environment combining urban, rural and historical settings contrasts greatly with Bod's almost zenlike simplicity. I speculate that British 1970's TV was pushing eastern philosophies on the minds of the youth. How convenient then that Bod wears the vibrant yellow garb worn by zen monks in Tibet. How interesting then that in this tantric theme we find Mr Benn changing into new clothes to become somebody else in a new place. Sounds like reincarnation. As the guru Sri Prabhupada said "the body is just a set of clothes that have to be replaced when worn out". |
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| Bagpuss - The best tv show ever created. Well not really. But it was good for kids. Different creatures like Bagpuss the lazy cat (left) and Prof. Yaffle, the scholarly woodpecker (right). There were mice that played a "Mouse Organ" and a frog that played the banjo. This supports my contention that early 70's TV was run by drug-addicted ex-hippies. |
| Ivor - Ivor was a locomotive who would cruise around Wales with some Welsh bloke filling him with coal and saying bloody stupid things. Ivor was cool though, he could always get up mountains. |
| The worst channel ever. |
| Sooty and Sweep - Sooty is on the left. Sweep is on the right. What a great show this was. Really. Sooty couldn't talk or make sounds but he had a magic wand. He was always in trouble. Sweep couldn't talk either but made cool high pitch sounds. He was always stealing sausages. The premise wasn't complex. Basically the puppets were always up to some mischief and Matthew (Matthew Corbett) would bear the brunt of it. Sooty had a girlfriend Soo (a female panda bear puppet) but they weren't allowed to touch. She was annoying but Sooty and Sweep were cool. Matthew, the token human, was always getting manipulated by these two puppets and in the end the puppets would win 'a bet' and Matthew would have to go get them a slap-up Fish & Chip supper. No lessons to be learned here, just innocent fun. |
| Brought to you by BBC2 |
| Dr. Who - When I was a kid there was only one doctor. Just as Roger Moore is the only James Bond, Tom Baker was the only Doctor. Doctor Who was an humanoid alien from Gallifrey. The bloke on Dead Ringers does an excellent Tom Baker impersonation. Romana was my favourite memory. She was a pretty upper-class girl who had no interest in a skinny eight year old (me). When I was a kid I remember thinking Romana and Lisa Baker were the two most beautiful girls in the world. I wonder how they look these days? K9 was excellent too. He was this robotic dog that moved on wheels...he had all types of armaments. The Doctor was the man. Tom Baker just had a strange way of talking...we'll probably find out that he really is an alien. He used to be a monk...bizarre! I read an interview about it here. I find him interesting. |
| Worzel Gummidge - Yes, that's him to the right...with a pole up his arse. Man this was disturbing. I thought of it because I was thinking about Dr. Who and Jon Pertwee played one of the doctors. I can't imagine too many Whovians watched this, but it was standard British whimsical TV fare in the 70's. Worzel was a scarecrow....disturbing. Worzel would come to life when kids were around....frightening. Worzel liked the mean dolly played by Una Stubbs..Una Stubbs! She was on that rubbish show with Michael aspel and Lionel Blair. Anyway, Worzel would spend all day standing in a field, presumably acting like a scarecrow, until a kid came along and brought him to life. He was a scary looking bloke, Jon Pertwee, but kids seemed to enjoy the show. To this day I have nightmares about scarecrows coming to life...I blame the show's creators. |
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| The Flumps - This show was great. It was obscure and non-linear. As Ray Manzarek from The Doors said "it's everything good art represents". He didn't really say that about the Flumps, but it sums them up. They were Northern types (Yorkshire accents, black pudding for breakfast etc.) The theme tune was pretty good and the stories revolved on the everyday happenings of a family made out of cotton and fluff. It made no sense but was better viewing that Rainbow (after all Bungle, George and Zippy gave me a headache). Playschool - This show was the bombdiggy. Mad props and a big shoutout to the BBC. I spent the 1970's glued to the television watching the inane stories and dress up games, it was like school. There were some ideas that stimulated thought though. There would be a sequence involving three doors of different shapes. You picked one then walked through the door into an adventure. The adventure would be a little bland but I was always worried about the other doors. I used to think, thank God Brian (the host) is choosing the door. I used to worry about shit like that, still do. The host was noneother than Brian Cant. I remember the dinner lady (Mrs. Dragovitch) overheard one girl calling Brian a bad name. She changed one of the letters in his last name to make it a naughty word. She was stoned to death for her transgression. British school was rough dog. There were plenty of stuffed characters on the show like the rag doll Jemima and the fat character with very thin legs, Humpty. I remember thinking 'how in fuck is he gonna walk on those?'. Humpty was cool...after a few years he got quite grimy. K'too was a bird...or Cockatoo if that's how you spell it). He was a proper bastard. Live animals were popping up all over the place on Playschool. The show started going downhill. Instead of amusing the kids watching the show, Brian was having arguments with a fucking bird. K'too had a mean streak. If another animal went near him, he'd squawk, then attack. It was chaos. I stopped watching 'cause I fucking hated the bird. Flash Gordon - This show was the dog's bollocks. How excited we would be to see this come on our telly. Although it was made in the 1930's and was in black & white, we loved it. The special effects werer't great, but 1930 American special effects were on par with 1970's British special effects (proof: watch Dr. Who). This show was the greatest. The baddies were real slime and you were with Flash and his pals every step of the way. So many adventures. Great for a bored kid from the suburbs. The battle sequences were off the hook. Spaceships would get shot, burst into flames and crash with the guy still inside. It depicted death as a neccessary evil to achieve one's aims. The BBC should put this show back on the air. Aubrey - You thought Ludwig was crap? You should've seen this show. Eye dreck. Stig of the Dump - You thought Worzel Gummidge was bizarre? You should've watched this! Stig wasn't a scarecrow...he was a caveman who lived at the dump. No explanation was offered to explain how he'd travelled in time. It was like the reverse story of Andrew Carlssin. Carlssin, who got busted for insider trading, claims he travelled back in time from the year 2256 to the present so he could make a few bucks. Who's more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him? Jackanory - Eye rabies. Rupert - The adventures of a stuffed bear whoi wore a red jumper and yellow scarf! The costume designer was Jean Paul Gaultier then. Danger Mouse - I'll talk trash now, but back in the days this was good television. Penfold, his myopic assistant, was always getting into trouble. Funnily enough I didn't identify with Danger Mouse. He was always to perfect. I could relate to Penfold...except that I could see better. The baddies were cool too. Why are you still reading this? Why am I still typing this? If you've gotten this far you deserve some type of reward. I hereby award you the rank of Major General in Her Majesty's Colonial Forces and a 10p off coupon for Pie & Chips at Leek House in Torquay. Congratulations. He Man - He Man and the Masters of the Universe. Truly excellent. The animation was tight, although the charaters all walked funny. He Man was the true story of Prince Adam; a mild-mannered boy from Eternia. The gimmick was that he was a bit thick but when trouble brewed he turned into He Man. He Man was a muscle bound freak with a better tan than Adam. His love interest was Teela. Teela was a bit thick and all because she never made the 'Adam is He Man' connection. The villains were villainous. Skeletor was always trying to rule Eternia but he was surrounded with inept thugs (mainly Trap Jaw, MerMan and Beast Man. We watched this show everyday and never got tired of it. The Clangers - Excellent! Pink mouse-like, elephant-like creatures from another planet who communicated with each other by making strange whistling noises. They lived in caves on a planet that was constantly being bombarded with cosmic debris. To protect themselves they covered their caves with saucepan lids. Arguably, the show was named after the sound of said debris hitting the lids. The characters were cool looking and although much of the time it was hard to follow, it was pioneering television for kids. The Goodies - I have vague memories of laughter when this was on. Bill Oddy Body and Ecky Thump. |
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