Rumors have been swirling around about Hagar the Horrible, a noted King Features Syndicate cartoon character who has spent a long time doubling up as the CSU mascot. It was rumored that Hagar was to be dropped so that a new Viking logo would be able to be marketed because, you see, since Hagar is not property of Cleveland State, we can't do a thing with the logo!!
Now, I'm still trying to figure out where on Earth CSU could have come up with a Viking, of all things, to be the nickname, the mascot, and the logo. Have you ever read the history books about the Vikings?
True, they did have some winners like Leif Ericson and Eric the Red, who, most likely by accident, became some of the first explorers in North America. And with that in mind, I think I can see where Cleveland State got the name, since, in theory, this is a pioneer institution of sorts... When is was Fenn College.
Back in the Fenn College days, there were a lot of new things going on, such as cooperative education. And they weren't even the Vikings, either. They were known as the Fenn Foxes, which I find to be a rather intelligent nickname since the fox is one of the more sly and cunning creatures in the wild.
Unfortunately, the fox also got wracked up a lot by larger creatures which, as I went through the Fenn College yearbooks and old issues of the Cauldron, was very true about the Fenn athletic program as well.
The Vikings, on the other hand, are most notable in history as some of the most savage people ever to walk the face of the earth. They were also known to be the most illiterate. I'm not sure what kind of message that really conveys in proportion to CSU, but I find it to be an insult.
And even if history is not right about the Vikings, there have been, in fact, a couple of protests of the Viking nickname, if you can believe that. And if you don't believe me, I saw the flyers with my own two eyes sometime last year or so.
The posters screamed out that the Viking logo was "offensive to Scandinavian culture and society." Hmm, I wonder if they have these problems in predominantly-Scandinavian Minnesota, which happens to have an NFL team of the same name.
So I think we, as a school, should seriously look at this nickname problem. It is an identity crisis because even if the Viking wasan accepted part of Scandinavian history, Cleveland has never been known to be affluent in Scandinavian culture anyway!
I now propose... The Solution!
That's right. After two weeks of mulling it over, I found that the biggest issue on this campus, athletics-wise, is the nickname. We need to have something that embodies the way in which most students live, and what this institution, and the city of Cleveland, for that matter, is all about.
So I say we rename ourselves... The Cleveland State Commuters!
You may ask yourself, "Has he lost his mind? Why would I name my teams the Commuters?"
The answer is simple: Have you seen some of the commuters out on the highways and byways of Northeast Ohio? In my opinion, the commuter may be the most ferocious being on the planet!
Make a commuter mad, you make all the commuters mad. You've seen backups on the Innerbelt. Tell me one commuter that isn't the least bit pissed off about it. And that's the kind of name we need around here, because I know at least one time in our lives or another, we have had to commute.
And while we're at it, let's change the school colors, too.
I know. There have been countless people that call the Forest Green and Yelloe (or White, if you graduated in this century) their school colors. But let's think here. What colors symbolize the Commuter most? Why, Rust Red and Michelin Black, after what we as commuters see everyday!
And as Commuters, we can come up with great cheers, too. "Go, Vikings, Go?" I think not. How about "Step on the Gas, Commuters!" Has a nice ring to it.
And as for marketability? How many other schools do you know call themselves the Commuters? After all, we live in the age of the University of Akron Zips and the University of California-Santa Cruz Banana Slugs. Why be unoriginal and bland? Different is good.
Go Commuters! And I thank you for your support.
Follow-up: Obviously, Cleveland State's nickname is still the bland and unoriginal Vikings. No surprise there. The Commuters idea did, however, make its way back to the surface.. As an article in the Cauldron's joke issue. One can dream, though.
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