The very first time I ever saw Lara was when my buddy bought a Playstation demo with Tomb Raider 2 on it. Of course, I told him to play this one first due to the fact that I had heard all about how the main character was hot. So, he put the fuckin' thing in and I wish I knew what happened next. All I remember was seeing this girl in these brown daisy dukes wearing what can only be described as "the tightest fucking shirt I have ever seen on a chick with ungodly enormous tits." But that wasn't what caused me to blackout. Oh no. This girl, when she would jump and climb and do strenuous things, would grunt. Fuck that....she'd groan!! I mean, we had this bitch wailing like I was taking her from behind (mainly due to the fact that we just sat there making her climb things so we could her her moan over and over again). My God, it sounded as if this chick was having a fuckin' orgasm right on our TV screen!! That's when I blacked out. The bloodflow to my head was severely cut off by the monster-sized erection I had grown just from watching Lara run around with her big fuckin' titties shakin,' while we were making her jump and climb things, listening to her climax with every action.
So, my friend went out and bought a copy of the first Tomb Raider just to satisfy this Lara kick that we were on. But, this didn't help sooth my new obsession. Fuck no. Like everything else, when I went to try and calm my cartoon -induced hormonal rage, I only made matters worse. For when I played the full version for the very first time, I found out the most incredible thing - Lara is Brittish!!!!! Holy shit, you think I passed out and nutted my drawers from that demo, I was fucking rushed to the hospital when I found out this small tidbit. She had the sweet fucking accent and all. Goddamn, everytime I play this game, I have to change my Under-Roos so not to sit in the same nut stain all day.
It's fuckin' funny man, cause Eidos, the company that puts this game out, they know what they have here. For Christ's sake, they have the girl in all kinds of different outfits in the second game. And nothing conservative...ohhh no. Skimpy bikini, tight scuba gear, a fucking robe.... But my favorite outfit of 'em all has got to be the Emma Peel get up that they have her in. That suit has got to be the most seductive garment that I have ever seen. Man, if I could score a chick that dressed like that, we wouldn't ever leave the house..... I would treat her to mind blowing sex everyday, anyday. 24/7.
I know some of you picky fucks are sitting behind you computer screens going, "Nate, Lara isn't a cartoon...she's a video game." Well, if you are asking yourself this question in your mind....fuck you!! You're a nerdy bitch for thinking that. Take another look at her mammories. They're a fuckin' picture of perfection!!! And for those tits alone, I can make an exception.