December 2000
How did the role on Passions come about for you?
Third time’s a charm. I actually auditioned for Gwen when the show first started. And then during the summer, Jackie Briskey (Passions Casting Director) called and said she wanted to see me again. I had to hear from them fairly soon after I tested because I was also testing for Guiding Light. They had to hurry up and make their decision, which turned out to be “no.” And then a couple of weeks later, I got another call to come back and test again. And that was when I got the part!
What was your reaction when you found out?
I think my exact words were, “Oh my.” Totally deadpan and calm. It felt really normal to get a “yes” call as opposed to getting a “no” call. It was like, okay, this is how it’s supposed to be! And then I started thinking practically about getting everything packed and working out my travel arrangements. I figured it would sink in later, but it didn’t need to. It was the way it was supposed to happen.
How did you feel about leaving New York?
I was conflicted. Guiding Light tapes in New York. But when people asked me which show I wanted more, for some reason, I would say I was leaning more towards Passions. When I got the news, I had thought about moving already. I had tested for so many things in LA that I had gone through the whole intellectual process of relocating. I had also lived here already for a few months, so that made it easier. I do miss New York. But fortunately, they’ve kept me so busy that I haven’t had too much time to miss it. I’ve gone back a couple of times, and had my fixes, but now it feels like going on a trip. It doesn’t feel like home. This is my home now.
What was your first day at Passions like?
I was more nervous than I’ve ever been. Even more nervous than I’ve been going on stage, or going on any screentest, or meeting any prominent producers or directors. I couldn’t figure out why I was so nervous. I finally realized it was the gravity of the nation watching--knowing that anyone who wants to could tune in and criticize me. Of course, I looked at it like that rather than that anyone could tune in and praise me! That was all consuming but my second day was lovely. And from then on it’s been great.
Was there anyone particularly welcoming?
There wasn’t a single person who wasn’t. Travis has been great. He extended himself and offered to get together before I started. So we went and had a cup of coffee and I felt like I could ask him the really stupid questions! He was really helpful. I was so surprised that there was none of the attitude here that you hear so much about in this business.
The inevitable questions: How did it feel taking over the role rather than creating your own role?
I just now understand how big that is. In my own eyes, I was just coming into this brand new. Liza and I are so dissimilar in appearance, type, and stature—we just don’t have the same presence. So I thought there’s no way I’m going to be able to use anything she’s used, so I’m going to just start over. But you’re kind of screwed either way—either people will be upset that you’re trying to take something from her, or they’re upset because you’re too dissimilar. Now that I’m watching it, I understand more how hard it is to watch someone come on and replace the person you’re so used to seeing. It’s also probably strange for the people in the cast.
Did you watch Passions before you started?
I watched it occasionally. Since I had auditioned in the beginning, I wanted to see what was up. It was interesting to meet all these people whom I’d seen from the beginning.
Who have been your favorites to work with so far?
Andrea Evans. I generally have lots of words with her and longer scenes. If I’m working with her, I know I’m going to get out of here in a reasonable hour because she’s so on top of it! She’s got all her stuff together. I feel very relaxed with her, almost like I know she’ll take care of the scene. Travis is very easy to work with because we’ve worked so much together. Lindsay is great. I feel so bad yelling at her! After every scene I make sure I touch her on the arm, or hug her just so she knows I’m just acting! And Ben…Ben’s actually a little hard to work with because he’s so funny. It’s a challenge not to crack up. But I’d still work with him any day of the week.
How would you describe Gwen?
I think Gwen’s a little confused. I think she’s teetering on being someone who’s sympathetic and genuine. On the other side of that, she’s very focused on what she wants and doesn’t care what she has to do. As an actress, it’s sometimes a hard fence to ride. Is she evil? Is she good? I don’t want to pick…but I don’t think I should. Let’s make her everything.
Did you always know you wanted to be an actress?
I think so. I don’t remember making a conscious decision, but obviously I did. I studied in high school. I put all my focus into learning the basics of theater. I didn’t do a whole lot of math homework! I read a lot of plays. I was a sponge with my high school drama teacher. After high school, I went to a conservatory. I would just soak up everything I could. I tried to amass a lot of information.
What are your goals for the future?
Right now I can hardly see tomorrow! I have always wanted to start some kind of theater company in New York. I want it to be something no one’s ever done before. I don’t know what that is yet, but I know there’s something missing out there that I can provide. As soon as I figure out what that is, I’ll do it.
What do you like to do in your spare time?
I like to sew, which I picked up over the last few years. It’s hard for me to find clothes that fit because my size is weird. I was getting frustrated when I was struggling and broke in New York. I have a really specific sense of style and I couldn’t find things that I wanted. So, I figured instead of complaining I’d do something. I booked a big commercial and used that money to buy a sewing machine and take lessons. I can’t make anything from scratch but I can fix things. I like to go to the cheapest thrift shops and find interesting weird stuff and change it around. I also used to make jewelry but I don’t really like wearing it. So, I’m not really doing that so much anymore.
What’s your favorite part about working on Passions?
I love that I get to improve upon my craft every single day. I have an opportunity every day to get better at what I do. It’s the best education anyone could ask for. What do you consider your greatest achievement? I don’t know if it’s an achievement, but it’s something I’m proud of—my independence. I’ve had a goal and a vision for what I want to do, and there’s not been a question that I’m going to do it. It’s driven me silently. I’m proud of myself for trusting my goals enough to go with them. I’ve done things by myself and I’ve done okay.
What are three words to describe yourself?
Cautious, brunette, and willowy.