The Love That Heals

by: Darlene

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The Love That Heals - Part 9

In the guest house, J&B are sitting on the couch, neither one of them wanting Jax to leave.

B: "When do you have to go back to the house?"

J: "I talked to mum & she understands that I don't want to leave you alone. So, if it's okay with you, I'll sleep here tonight"

B: "Thank you, thank you"

Brenda didn't realize that Jax literally meant he would sleep there, right there on the couch.

J: "I'll sleep out here, on the couch"

The disappointment in Brenda's face couldn't be hidden, no matter how hard she tried.

B: "You don't have to, this is your parents house"

Although this sounded innocent, Brenda was really trying to get Jax to agree to sleep in the bed with her. Unfortunately for Brenda, Jax didn't take the hint.

J: "I insist! Are you tired?"

B: "Yeah, it's been a long day"

J: "Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?"

Brenda does want to talk about what happened earlier, when she almost got to kiss Jax, but she knows that that's not what he means, he means what happened with Oscar.

B: "No"

J: "Do you want to go to your room by yourself or do you want me to"

Before Jax can finish, Brenda excitedly jumps in.

B: "carry me"

J: "Is that your answer?"

B: "Yes"

Once in the bedroom, Brenda manages to convince Jax to stay for awhile, not that he needs much convincing. Jax does leave for a few minutes, while Brenda changes her clothes. Brenda's changes into her creme pajamas, while Jax stays in his attire for the day, black jeans & a white turtle neck.

B: "You know you didn't have to leave when I changed"

Jax completely ignores Brenda's comment in an effort to stop his mind from thinking about Brenda changing in front of his eyes.

J: "I just came in to say goodnight & make sure you have everything you need."

B: "I need you to stay awhile"

J: "I don't think I should"

B: "Please, I'm afraid if I close my eyes I'll see Oscar again"

J: "Okay, I'll stay for awhile. Do you want to talk about it?"

B: "NO"

Jax silently sits on the right side of Brenda's bed, as Brenda lays down under the covers. As soon as Brenda's body is under the covers, she grabs Jax's hand & places it under the blankets, over her heart. Jax immediately fills a wave of fire pass through his body.

B: "Goodnight Jax"

J: "Goodnight Brenda"

B: "You'll stay until I fall asleep, won't you?"

J: "I'll be here"

Awhile later, after Jax had watched Brenda sleep for almost an hour, he decides to leave the room. His only problem is that he must first retrieve his hand from underneath Brenda's. Jax slowly pulls his hand away. Just as he's about to stand up, a mere second after retrieving his hand, Brenda begins to cry in her sleep. Brenda's cry immediately causes Jax to put his hand back, under Brenda's. As soon as Jax's hand is back over Brenda's heart, where she had originally put it, her crying stops & a look of piece washes over her once again. Several more times, Jax tries to remove his hand, but each attempt is followed by Brenda's cries. Each cry causes Jax's heart to break, which causes him to replace his hand over her heart. Finally Jax realizes that nature isn't going to quit calling & that he can't go much longer without relieving himself. Knowing that he has to remove his hand so that he can go to the bathroom, Jax removes his hand from Brenda in one quick move. Brenda immediately starts crying, but Jax is helpless to do anything about it. Jax rushes to the bathroom adjoining the bedroom, & makes it to the toilet with no time to spare. He flushes the toilet, wipes his hands & rushes back to Brenda's side. Brenda's cries continue in her sleep. Jax tries to put his hand back over Brenda's heart, but Brenda wakes up before he can finish. Brenda takes a hold of Jax's hand & intertwines her's with his.

J: "You awake?"

B: "Yeah"

J: "What were you dreaming about?"

B: "Can't remember"

J: "You were crying"

Jax raises his free hand & gently wipes the remaining tears off of Brenda's face.

B: "I was?"

J: "Every time I moved my hand"

B: "Maybe I didn't want you to go"

J: "I think it was about Oscar. You screamed a few times too, help, & don't, & stop it"

B: "Maybe it was, I don't remember"

J: "Do you think you're ready to talk about it now?"

B: "I'll try"

J: "That's all I ask"

B: "Will you, maybe I shouldn't ask this"

J: "Will I what, just ask & I'll do it"

B: "Put your arms around me & hold me, like you did earlier when I talked to Miguel"

J: "sure"

All of a sudden, Brenda feels compelled to explain why she needs Jax to hold her.

B: "I think it will make me feel safer"

Once Brenda is seated in the V between Jax's legs. with his arms around her stomach, she begins to talk about what happened with Oscar.

B: "he didn't even talk to me until a few hours after you left. I stayed on the couch & he only came in the room a few times. When he did, he just looked at me with this weird look on his face. I thought he just felt awkward because we didn't know each other. When he came in & sat down, he sat on the other edge of the couch, so I figured he was a little uncomfortable. The TV was on but I was really just sitting there day dreaming."

J: "About what"

Brenda doesn't tell Jax that she was dreaming about him, instead she tells him about a very small part of the dream. Brenda giggles as she answers Jax's question.

B: "the coffee ice cream you were getting me"

J: "I'm sorry you never got to eat your ice cream. I'll get you some more tomorrow"

B: "It's okay, you don't have to"

J: "It's not a bother"

B: "Oscar interrupted my day dream when he tried to kiss me. I moved my head quickly, but he kept trying" That's when I pulled out my cell phone & started calling you. He grabbed the phone before I could finish & threw it across the room & said, "Jax can't help you now". That's when I knew something was really wrong. He must have had the knife on the table behind the couch because he reached back & had the knife. then he kept trying to get me to kiss him & he kept pulling at my clothes, trying to get them off. Right before you came in he puled his pants down. Jax he did it so fast & so easily, like he's done it before. That was the scariest part. Once he had the knife, he didn't look nervous or scared anymore, he looked so, so calm. If you hadn't come when you did Jax, I know that he would have raped me. I tried to get away but I couldn't. I don't know why I thought I could, I can't even walk"

J: "You will walk again. Miguel told me that the doctors assured him that with a lot of physical therapy, you could recover 100%"

B: "I don't know about that"

J: "I do, you're strong, you can fight this, I know you can. I will do anything you need me to do to help you"

B: "I guess I could try the exercises my doctor suggested. I tried before but they hurt so much that I stopped trying"

J: "Do you have the exercise instructions with you?"

B: "Yeah, they're in my suitcase"

J: "Then we can start first thing in the morning"

B: "Will you stay here with me tonight? & put your arms around me?"

J: "Are you sure. I thought that after Oscar you wouldn't want"

B: "I was afraid of having a man's arms around me at first, but there's something about your touch that makes me feel safe. I need you to hold me tonight because of what happened today. I need to know that a man"

Brenda turns her face around & looks at Jax.

B: "You, can hold me & touch me, and I'll be safe, do you understand?"

J: "I think so. You want to lay in my arms & feel safe as a way to counter act the scary feeling you got from Oscar"

B: "That's not the only reason. I am attracted to you, I was even before today, so I don't know how much of this is really about what happened. I know all of it isn't. I know that even if that had never happened, I would want to be in your arms tonight. I just think I would be too shy to tell you"

Once Jax and Brenda are both under the covers, Brenda scoots her body closer to Jax, so that she is leaning against his chest. Jax's immediate response is to wrap his arms around Brenda, which he does, landing his hand on Brenda's stomach. Jax also decides to have a little admission of his own.

J: "When Miguel & I were coming home, I had this sense that something was wrong with you, that you were in danger."

B: "Miguel told me, but it's nice to hear it from you"

Jax & Brenda fall asleep within minutes of Jax's admission.

When Brenda wakes up the next morning, Jax's arms are still safely around her. Brenda quickly tries to fall back asleep, so that she can continue her dream, about her & Jax. Brenda's efforts are useless. The sound of Jax's sweet voice, saying "good morning. Did you sleep well?", awakens Brenda fully.

B: "Better then I have in months. Thanks for staying with me last night."

J: "Do you want to come with me to see Jerry this afternoon?"

B: "Yeah"

J: "I've been thinking that we can go back to Colorado tomorrow, so that we'll be able to celebrate Christmas. you know it's two days away, that is unless you already have plans"

B: "I was thinking about Christmas too, but not in Colorado. I would love it if you would come to Port Charles with me & meet my friends. It just won't seem like Christmas if I'm not in Port Charles."

Suddenly Jax is hit with the thought that if he can see Lois again, perhaps his feelings for Brenda might slow down.

J: "Will I get to see Lois" {Jax hesitantly adds} "& Ned again"

B: "Yep, they're the first one's we'll see. I always miss Lo the most."

J: "I'll call my pilot & tell him we've had a change of plans, or do you want me to fly us?"

Jax immediately hopes that Brenda says she wants him to fly, at least that way he can concentrate on getting them to Port Charles safely, instead of concentrating on Brenda. Brenda has other ideas though, she knew her answer before Jax even finished saying, "fly us", Brenda wants every minute she can have with Jax.

B: "No, I want you back with me"

As soon as Jax hears Brenda's answer, he knows that the trip to Port Charles is going to be a long, difficult flight.

J: "Okay I'll call him in a little while & let him know about the change of plans."