by Judy
Reunion Part 11: "The Encounter"
A cool breeze whipped across the room stinging Brenda's cheek, abruptly waking her from a deep sleep. Her head felt heavy and her stomach churned like a stormy sea. She covered her face with the pillow and tried to reconcile where she was and why she felt so awful. As she began to recover the events of the previous night she felt a surge of warmth in spite of the morning chill invading the room. She could feel the beautiful ring Jax had lovingly placed on her finger pressing lightly into her face as her arms cradled the pillow blocking the sun that infiltrated the room. But she could hardly reclaim the sequence of events that had brought them from the beach back to Malibu. She struggled to free herself of the nauseous feeling attacking her stomach and reached for the comfort of Jax's familiar frame next to hers. All she felt was empty space.
An unsettling dream had catapulted Jax from his sleep a long while earlier. Unsure if the cause had been the previous night's excitement or too much champagne, he'd gotten out of bed to physically distance himself from the dream, needing to sort it from the reality of the present. He'd felt like this once before - the night he had failed to tell Brenda the truth about Miranda. But this time the dream was not as vivid and he struggled to remember the details.
Consciously, he went out to the veranda so as not to disturb Brenda, hoping the endless view of the ocean would give him better perspective and release him from the haunting feelings controlling his thoughts. Unconsciously, he needed Brenda there with him, to reassure him that the night before had not been a fantasy that would evaporate like dew with the heat of day. In that need, he had left the veranda door wide open and morning drenched the room in an attempt to draw out its remaining occupant.
Brenda slipped into the robe lying on the chair next to the bed. Still feeling like she'd just escaped off a giant roller coaster, she quietly approached Jax from behind and adoringly slipped her arms around his shoulders. She tenderly kissed the top of his head and whispered a vow of love in his ear. She could feel a shiver run through him and she squeezed him harder to share her warmth and comfort. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing now that you're here," he answered hugging her arms tightly where they crossed his chest.
He reached around behind him to bring her to him. She joined him on the lounge chair and felt that his skin was cold even through the dense thickness of her robe. "No wonder," she thought, "he's barely dressed." Outside the air felt even colder than it had in the house.
"You're freezing, " she said aloud. "Let's go inside or at least let me get a blanket."
"I'm fine now that you're here," he said holding her closer. Her physical presence offered him the security he'd needed and brought him out of his thoughts of the dream.
"Jax, this isn't going to work if you shut me out. What's wrong?" it was a statement of fact, not a question.
He knew it was critical that he not keep things from her, but how could he explain something as vague as a dream that he couldn't even remember? "I just had this strange dream," he told her truthfully, "and I was trying to remember it. It's nothing, really," he smiled and kissed her soothingly. "Guess I need to go easier on the champagne. I'm sorry to spoil our morning after . . . Last night was . . . extraordinary." He was beginning to sound more like himself.
"I was thinking the same thing," Brenda concurred. Then she moaned, "My head and stomach feel like we've just hit a giant air pocket in the jet." She was trying to make light of how bad she felt so as not to upset him further. "But," she added longingly, "it was soooo worth it. Last night was perfect, Jax. Every . . .single . . . minute." She looked down at the ring on her finger and Jax smothered her hand in his letting only the ring escape his grip as it caught the rays of the morning sun.
As if reading his thoughts Brenda continued, "I'll take good care of it, I promise." And he knew she was not really talking about the ring.
"I had an idea for today," he said, shifting topics to a lighter mode. "If you're up for it, that is. We're going to have to go home soon, you know. But you seemed disappointed in last night's dinner menu so I wanted to make it up to you."
Brenda was genuinely confused. "Whatever are you talking about? Last night was fabulous."
"Oysters," he said simply. "You complained there weren't any! Think your stomach could tolerate some this afternoon? In my quest to know every oyster bar in existence, I've discovered there's one in Santa Barbara and I've been dying to try it . . . I thought we could go there before we head for home, tomorrow."
"Mmmmm, I feel like we are home," Brenda said softly, burying her head in his chest.
"I know. I do, too," Jax said, a serious tenor entering his voice, again. "How would you feel about making it permanent? We'd have to wrap up some things in Port Charles . . . and I know how much the cottage means to you."
"I think it would be perfect. But," and she looked him straight in the eyes so she could read his response and he would understand hers, "not yet. You told everyone we would have a proper engagement, remember? How would it look if we just took off and shacked up here, now?" The twinkle in her eye told him she didn't care about keeping up pretenses, but the tone in voice conveyed the understanding that they needed time to solidify their new relationship.
"You're right," he agreed, "but when the time comes, I would like to make this our home. Don't keep me waiting too long, Brenda. Okay?"
"The decision's yours, Jax. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here. I promise." Brenda's sincerity could not be doubted.
"So, are you ready for those oysters?" Jax queried with enthusiasm. "I'm getting hungry and it's a bit of a drive to Santa Barbara. You game?" Jax was a man with a mission as usual.
Hiding the truth about how terrible she really felt, Brenda replied, "Lead the way, oh Master! Your wish is my command."
"Do I get two?" he teased.
"Depends on how hungry you are?" she tossed back leading the way to the bedroom.
********
Brenda was surprised that Jax chose to take the wheel himself for the trip.
The road to Santa Barbara offered some wonderful scenery and she wished they
could have enjoyed the view cuddled together in the back seat. Jax, on the
other hand, still needed some time to sort out his dream. He found the drive
exhilarating. The nearly deserted Ventura County countryside afforded him
an opportunity to put the top down and travel at speeds that clearly exceeded
the posted limits. They sped across the landscape, wind whipping through
their hair and biting into their faces. It vaguely reminded him of driving
through the wilds of Australia. Brenda saw that Jax was absorbed in his thoughts,
and though she was curious to know what they were about, she knew that when
he was ready, he would share them with her. She felt so safe in that knowledge
that she allowed her own musings to wander to the future. A future that until
recently, she feared would never be hers.
Both engrossed in their thoughts, the comfort of knowing that they were together enough to connect them, they drove in silence except for the music streaming from the radio:
"I'm looking back through the years
Down this highway
Memories, they all lead up to
This one day
And many dreams lost along the way
Haunt me still
I guess they always will
When love was too much to bear
I just left it there
Bur here I stand face to face
With this heart of mine
Livin' without you I only fall behind
We had a love most people never find
All this time I never realized
And the courage I finally found
Has made me turn around
There is only one road I'm walkin'
Only one lifetime one heart
To guide me
Only one road I'm walkin'
But I'm gonna run back. I'm gonna
Run Back
Cause I need you right here
Beside me.
I can still hear the song of
Your laughter
I can still taste the sorrow of
Your tears
We said goodbye but our hearts
Dsid not hear
Now my love there's nothing
Left to fear
With all my heart put me through
It leads me back to you.
There is only one road I'm walkin'
Only one lifetime one heart
To guide me
Only one road I'm walkin'
But I'm gonna run back. I'm gonna
Run Back
Cause I need you right here
Beside me.
I'm gonna run back. I'm gonna run back
"Cause I need you right here
Beside me"*
********
Oysters! The name of the restaurant said it all. Jax had reserved a table
on the patio and they enjoyed the warm afternoon air in relative solitude.
They had arrived midway between lunch and dinner so there were very few people
sharing the view. They made small talk and avoided the air of distance between
them. Jax still seemed far away in his thoughts and Brenda chose to respect
his silence. The queasiness in her stomach had somewhat subsided, but it
returned when she was startled by the presence of a man approaching their
table.
"Brenda Barrett? I can't believe it. I am such a big fan of yours. What a surprise and pleasure to see you in California." He was nondescript in his appearance - fortyish, light brown hair, colorless eyes and medium build. Wearing khaki pants and a beige shirt, he would all but fade into the background except for the slight hint of an accent in his voice. Brenda couldn't discern its origin.
She was always somewhat surprised that people considered her a celebrity. She politely acknowledged the man while trying to evade the intensity of his focus. She could sense that Jax did not appreciate this violation of their privacy. That was unusual for him - he typically seemed amused by the flurry of attention she attracted from time-to-time. She attributed the change to his general mood and offered the intruder an autograph in an attempt to placate his curiosity and end his incursion on their last afternoon of freedom.
Jax was more than annoyed. He had a nagging sense that this man represented a threat somehow associated with his dream. Intellectually he knew it was ridiculous, but intuitively he couldn't disregard the concern. He was outwardly relieved when the man accepted the autograph and retreated to the restaurant's main dining area inside.
"Ready to go?" Jax asked Brenda sharply. "How about a walk on the beach to stretch our legs. I need some exercise - haven't had any for awhile, you know - except for the 'indoor type'?" he smiled weakly.
Brenda was painfully aware of Jax's attempt to gloss over whatever was bothering him. It concerned her that he was working so hard to keep his concerns from her. She didn't know what to do. The "old Brenda" wanted to scream at him and demand he tell her everything. But she had learned that part of trusting was letting him come to her in his own time, in his own way. The "new Brenda" kept silent and her stomach twisted once more, making her audibly wince with pain.
"Are you okay?" Jax was visibly concerned. "We can go right home if you want. What's wrong, Brenda?"
The irony of his question burned into her, but she calmly lied, "Nothing Jax. I'm just really full. Guess I ate too much. A walk sounds good to me, too. Ready?"
Jax had been too immersed in his own thoughts to notice that she'd barely touched her food.
In their haste for a change of scene, they failed to notice the amorphous man furtively watching them as they left the restaurant.
********
The walk along the beach was just what they needed to clear their heads and
bring their feelings back into focus. In faded jeans and comfortable sweaters,
they looked like any other couple deeply in love. Jax shook off thoughts
of the disturbing dream and focussed on the pleasure of being with the woman
he loved. He knew that once back in Part Charles, their lives would be full
of the mundane details of his business and Brenda's career.
Brenda, still aware of the gnawing feeling in her stomach, dismissed it and concentrated solely on the happiness she felt being with Jax. As much as she hated leaving the solitude of this place and their peaceful time together, she was excited by the knowledge that their life in Port Charles would be richer because of the commitment they had made to each other. She knew that the months ahead would culminate in a joyous event that she eagerly awaited.
They strolled along the shoreline, hand-in-hand, watching the sandpipers scurry back and forth along the water's edge. Their bare feet grew numb from the sting of the icy water, but they hardly recognized how cold they'd become until they noticed the sun going down and knew it would soon be dark. So lost had they been in their thoughts and feelings that they failed to realize how far they'd walked. When they did, they broke into gales of laughter and knew that it had been just what they needed to help draw this perfect time to an end.
Jax spoke first. "There are lots of hotels along this stretch of the beach. If you're too tired to walk back we could stay here, tonight. Or you can rest awhile, and I'll jog back to get the car and come pick you up."
"Not on your life! You aren't leaving me for a minute," Brenda scolded. "You'll be off to your business meetings soon enough. I'm holding onto you now for as long as I can. If I get too tired, you can carry me back to the car, oh strong one."
So, together they returned to the place where they'd parked the car. This time, they walked briskly, eager to return to Malibu to celebrate their newly found joy and peace. They talked about making plans and how wonderful it would be when they could return and settled in Malibu on a permanent basis. Arm-in-arm, they ran up the sand then sat down to brush it from their tired feet and off the cuffs of their encrusted jeans.
They didn't notice that the intruder was still watching them from the distance.
*Only One Road, written by Peter Zuzo
The Colour of My Love CD by Celine Dion