by Tyra
Left On The Cutting Room Floor - Episode # 6
Tuesday April 14th - Brenda, Lady Jane, John, Jax
~ She's Smore Than A Woman To Me ~
"Omelets, Danish, coffee, juice, champagne, waffles, fresh fruit, ...... oh Ruby..... you're so good to me!" She never forgets anyone's favorite food!" Brenda had called Ruby this morning and ask her the supreme favor of making Brunch for the Jacks' this morning. Ruby had really come through for her. Not only did she get everything ordered here on time, she also added yogurt and granola to the menu! Ruby was so amazing! Nobody else in Port Charles was providing delivery because of the strikes that had been running rampant since the night at the Dock.
Brenda takes one last walk around the room checking her spotlessly clean cottage. Luckily her old cleaning service was able to do the job on short notice. Because they were not crossing the picket lines of the local hotels, they had plenty of staff available to clean her cottage. The owner had sent a staff of 3 here. It had been pricey, but they had accomplished a miracle in under an hour!
Brenda jumps at the sound of knocking. Brenda giggles, "I must be more nervous about this than I thought. " With a final plump of the pillows and a quick check in the mirror, she opens the door. Brenda's smile freezes on her face as she opens the door to the sight of all three Jacks' arguing! All three were talking at once, no one really listening, but any observer could see that there was no malice or real anger amongst them.
Lady Jane, Jax, John: ' Jax you know you love Brenda, why are you being so stubborn?' ' Mum - Stop! I haven't needed you to wipe my nose for me since I was in short pants.' 'Jax my boy there's no need to speak to your mother like that! You know she only has you best interests at heart.'
They all stopped as they heard Brenda's laugh. They stopped and turned towards her in unison, which made her laugh even more. They looked like backup singers in a soul group! All that was missing was a little slide step and a 'Woooo, Hoooo' and they could be leaving on a Midnight Train to Georgia!
Lady Jane, John, Jax: 'Hello dear!' 'Brenda dear girl, hello' 'What's so funny?'
Brenda covers her ears laughing, "Stop, I was never trained to listen to multiple conversations at once! Hi Lady Jane, John, Jaaaxxxxxx."
The words begin to tumble from Jax's mouth as his parents look on smiling, "It's not what you think Brenda. I'm not staying. I've got a lot of things to do today. I'm just dropping them off since they didn't know how to get here and with the strike there are no cabs to be found. So I've done the dutiful son-ly thing, and I'll be on my way. Can you do me a favor and bring them back when you drive in to the city later today?"
"You could have had your driver bring them here in your limo? By the way, I love the tie your wearing today. It's my favorite, but you already knew that since I must have told you a least a thousand times that I love what it does to your eyes. It's brings out all those sexy flecks of green highlight.
Jax's parents witness their interchange with much delight. John places his arm around Lady Jane and hugs her to him, "Doesn't that remind you of us when we were first married. You could always see around my weak excuses too."
Jax's response held a note of impatience, "That's enough, all of you, I've got business to attend to. Brenda, Jerry's in town and we're all gathering for dinner at 7:00. I know you'd love to meet each other after all this time, I hope you can make it too."
"I wouldn't want to miss out on a *family* dinner, of course I'll be there." Brenda grabs his arm as he turns to leave. "Jax, don't leave without at least having a cup of coffee. You don't want to drink the stuff there serving at the hotel. It's Ruby's special blend....... you know how much you love her coffee."
Jax pauses briefly, "Well, just one cup, then I have to get going." He steps down into the living room noticing his parents approving smiles.
"Jax, why don't you help yourself to whatever you want. I'm going to give your parents a quick tour of my cottage, you can stay behind, you've seen all the rooms already." With a parting wink, she headed up the stairs with mum and dad.
Jax poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down to think They were all ganging up on him. If it wasn't for Jerry he would have no allies. He had better figure a way to get his parents to leave soon. It was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with his own parents taking Brenda's side. He adored them both, but they still thought of him as their baby boy. That all injuries could be made better with a kiss and a pat on the head. The hurt that Brenda had inflicted on him was not going to be repaired with a kiss and a little pink Band-Aid.
'Thanks, I designed the changes myself. I had the contractor add more windows because I love looking at the stars. I think that stars have a magical quality to them. What do you think Jax?", Brenda poses the question to him as she notices he is watching them.
"I don't know Brenda, you're the 'genie' aren't you suppose to be an expert on all things magic?", Jax responds with a crooked smile.
Brenda turns back to his parents, "Oh, I didn't tell you! I'm the new spokes model for Genie Motors! It was a fluke really, I was working their company's display at the car show and they offered me chance to do their print ads and they've just offered me an extended contract."
"Don't sell yourself short Brenda, you know you deserved this opportunity. Genie Motors has never had such a strong response to their ads. They are lucky to have you" Jax nudges shoulders with Brenda as they both laugh. "I've really got to be going now, thanks for the coffee. See you all tonight."
"Stop, you are not leaving until you have a nutritious breakfast. You know you aren't going to be getting anything edible at the hotel, look at all the food Ruby prepared. She included your favorites!
Jax looked at the fresh fruit, yogurt and granola laden cart. "Well, I don't want you telling Ruby, that I didn't appreciate her thoughtfulness.... I'll have to make it quick though." Jax hoped he didn't live to regret the chance he was taking. Was a hearty breakfast worth another round of innuendo and good intentions?
The meal passed without any further parental incidents and it had actually been quite pleasant. Relaxing with his glass of Mimosa, Jax reflects on how much he enjoyed Brenda's ease with his parents. She had been the only woman his parents had really embraced into the family fold. It gave him so much delight to see her bask under the warmth of their love and approval. Would things have turned out differently if she had grown up with the same support and caring that surrounded him during his childhood. His brow furrowed as his thoughts turned towards resenting a man he had never met. Harlan Barrett had neglected his daughter and its repercussions had wreaked havoc in her life. But, they say life's trials and tribulations are the blocks that build a persons soul. So would Brenda have grown into someone he would have loved if her past had been different? Oh God, why do the words Brenda and Love always seem to go together in my mind. I can't love her, I won't--"
"Jax? Jax?" Brenda's hand on his arm brings him back to earth. Blue eyes met Brown, as he sees her look of concern, "Jax? Are you all right? Can I help?"
He weaves his fingers with hers smiling, "Just thinking about business, nothing to be concerned with."
Brenda leans in whispering, "Jax that was no 'business concerns' expression, if you don't want to tell me what's bothering you, I can respect that. But if you ever want to talk it over, I'm here for you."
"So is everyone ready for coffee, Latte, cappuccino, mochas?" She looks around the table questioningly. All three smile, smirk actually. "What? Oh come on guys, I know how to make coffee. You don't think I spent all my boarding school years studying do you?"
They all laughed at once. She loved this family! How could they insult her yet make her feel so cared for at the same time? She rises laughing, "So is it coffee all around?"
"I'd actually like a mocha. *Steam* the milk please." Brenda noticed his amusement at her discomfiture. He knows that the only time she had attempted to steam milk, she had scalded her hand. It had been a perfectly honest mistake, who knew you had to turn the steam off, *before* removing the pitcher of milk from the frothing tip? The burn had been mild, and the salve Jax had applied had been quite enjoyable. To quickly cool the burned area, Jax had reached for anything cold to apply to the afflicted area. He had covered it with whipped cream! After he determining that she had not been badly burned he had languorously licked it off. By the time he was done, she did not feel any pain in her hand, she did not have a coherent thought in her body...."
"Yes, Well, OK....", Brenda stuttered as she struggled to keep her mind on the conversation going around the table. Jax leans in whispering, "Brenda? Are you all right? Can I help?". He leans back with a huge grin clasping his hands behind his head. Brenda averts her eyes gaze from Jax. He had removed his jacket during Brunch and his stretching motion caused his shirt to press tightly against his chest. A sight she did not need while visions of whipped cream still danced in her head! "Very funny Jax, so that's three coffees and *one* mocha. I'll be back in a moment, why don't you make yourselves comfortable on the couch."
As they make there way to the couch, clanking and muttering emanate from the kitchen. Lady Jane slaps his knee, "That wasn't very nice Jax." Her attempts at seriousness fail as she explodes with laughter. Turning to her husband "John, remember my first attempts at cooking for you?"
John bellows, "Remember! Why do you think I moved to Alaska first and called for all of you later? It had nothing to do with striking it right I couldn't abide your cooking any longer!"
Brenda returns from the kitchen, tray in hand. All three are still laughing as she approaches. Brenda sets the tray down and begins to pour the coffee for John and Lady Jane. She then hands Jax his mug, "Here is you mocha sir, made with freshly *steamed milk*" He eyes her suspiciously, Brenda has an odd mischievous look in her eyes.
He takes an apprehensive sip..... It was excellent! "Brenda, this is wonderful, almost as good as the little bistros of Paris!"
Brenda laughs, "You sound surprised! I told you I could make coffee. Jax, wait! I forgot the most important ingredient!" She uncovers a bowl of marshmallows.
"Marshmallows! I especially like the little tiny ones!" Jax grabs a few and plops them in his mug. He takes a sip immediately, unable to wait for them to melt. Jax closes his eyes savoring the taste, "Uhmmmm, that's good. There's nothing like chocolate and marshmallows together." Jax and Brenda's eyes meet with glee, together they say, "Unless you add GRAHAM CRACKERS!" Brenda runs laughing into the kitchen. Jax turns to his parents and sees the look of shocked distaste on their faces.
"What's wrong mum, dad?", Jax queries.
"Why would either of you place graham crackers in your coffee?, Lady Jane asks.
"No mum you've got it all wrong. Brenda and I were thinking of 'Smores'. It's a confection made with melted chocolate and marshmallows inserted between two graham cracker cookies. Brenda made them for me last Thanksgiving. I've never tasted anything so delectable!"
Lady Jane looked at Jax skeptically, "If you say so darling."
Jax was about to further rhapsodize on the merits of the "Smore' as Brenda returns with one hand behind her back, smiling from ear to ear. "Brenda, did you find some graham crackers, there's still some chocolate on Ruby's cart we can make some 'Smores' for mum and dad!" Jax question overflowed with youthful eagerness.
Brenda approaches shaking her head no. "I couldn't find any graham crackers Jax, but I found something that goes even better with your mocha."
Jax leans forward in anticipation holding his mug out, "What is it?"
"THIS!!!!" Brenda screams as she reaches forward with a can of whipped cream and spays a stripe of it from his nose to his chin. Taken aback, Jax spills some of the mocha on the table.
Jax shouts "Brenda that's not funny!" as he vaults out of the chair and chases her up the stairs. Screams and laughter can be heard from her bedroom as their voices muffle. John and Lady Jane look at each other, grinning from ear to ear.
"John, it is so obvious that they belong together. Why can't Jax see that? We've got to do something."
"Now mother, we promised Brenda that we would let Jax find his own way back to her. I think her way is best, Jax needs to know in his own mind that they are right together. We should stop trying to muddy the waters by expressing our own opinions on him."
"But John I'm his mother. I gave him life. I can't just stand by and let my child make the wrong decision. Look at them together. It's obvious that they love each other, and more importantly they *like* each other. My god, did you see them together, it's like they operate on the same wavelength! They complete each others sentences, they know what the other is thinking. They remind me of......us, when we first met."
"I saw all that you did mother, but what can we do? He's grown now, if we push too hard, he'll rebel, and that won't help Brenda's cause at all."
"But John I still feel that--"
The conversation halts as Brenda and Jax returns. Brenda is in Jax's arms and her head is turned away from the Jacks'. They are whispering to one another as they approach. Jax turns so that Brenda is now facing John and Lady Jane. Well facing is a generous term because at the moment, she had no face. What they saw before them was a circle of white where Brenda's face would have been. There were two spots that looked as if fingers had created an opening. There in the deepest recesses of white, they saw two eyes.
As they laughed, tears began to stream down their faces. Jax sets Brenda back on her feet. She blindly feels around the coffee table until she finds a tea towel and begins to wipe her face of the cream. "I'm sorry for being so silly, I don't know what came over me. I've already apologized to Jax and now I want to apologize to the both of you." Jax is looking on with amusement.
Lady Jane still laughing says, "There's no need to apologize dear, it warms our hearts to see the two of you so light-hearted, so free. It's nice to see the young still know how to enjoy life. Back in our day, no matter how busy, we always had time to enjoy being together. I don't see that as often with young couples today. Rush here, rush there, always an appointment that has to be met, no time to nurture a relationship."
"APOINTMENT!, I've totally lost track of the time. I have a meeting I absolutely can't miss! They are expecting me there in 15 minutes." Turning towards his parents, "Dinner's at 7:00." Jax runs towards the door shrugging into his jacket. Brenda had moved to the door and was now waiting there with it open. Jax on his cell phone, is totally distracted. He leans down and kisses Brenda as he departs, "See you at 7:00 Sweetie." They both stop, gazes clash and hold, what had he done? I'm an idiot!
"Right Honey, see you then", Brenda smiles wistfully she closes the door on Jax, looking very much like a deer caught in the headlights. She returns to the living room with a dreamy sigh and sits next to John and Lady Jane on the couch. Realizing they are staring she changes the subject, "Well what would you two like to do. I have the day free, let me show you my town!"
Lady Jane picks up a napkin and proceeds to wipe the last traces of cream from her face. "That was quite a spectacle you made of yourself dear."
Brenda recoils from her comment, "Lady Jane, I'm so sorry, it was just a little prank that got out of hand and--"
"Brenda dear, I'm only teasing. John and I both loved watching the two of you together! It was so nice to see him acting silly again, he had been far too serious for too long."
Brenda's lashes fan downward with sadness, "I guess that's my fault. If I hadn't been so confused, so untrustworthy, so immature, so--"
"--Human?, Lady Jane interrupts. Placing her hands on Brenda's shoulders she implores, "Brenda, don't waste your time second guessing your choices. We know you love Jax and you regret the pain you caused him. We can also see how much you care for him now. You can't spend the rest of your life dwelling on what you should have, could have done. Just continue with what you've been doing. It's working! I can see him being pulled closer and closer to you each day. It's just that with you, he opened himself up completely, which is why he was hurt so deeply when you parted."
John now takes Brenda in hand and continues, "What she's trying to say dear, is that Jax is fighting a mighty battle. He has himself fully armored to protect himself from feeling that kind of hurt again. You just keep at him, this is a battle he is going to lose. But when he loses, it will be with the total pleasure in being conquered."
Brenda's head is bowed. John places his hand beneath her chin and raises her head level with his. Brenda blinks and the tears that had been brimming in her eyes, roll silently down her cheeks. How could they both be so understanding, so loving, so forgiving. She knew now why Jax had grown to the man that she admired, desired. Here they were consoling her, giving her encouragement to continue. "I can't tell you how much I love you guys. Sometimes I think that half the reason I love Jax, is because of how much I love the two of you."
Lady Jane's eyes are now equally wet, "Darling, you will always be considered a 'Jacks' as far as we're concerned. I didn't raise my sons to be fools, so I'm sure we will be welcoming you back into our family soon."
John continues, "He will figure out soon, what he needs to be happy. If he listens to his heart, instead of denying his feelings with his mind. His heart won't lie. It led him to you the first time, it will lead him back to you for *all* time."
Brenda takes a shaky cleansing breath, "I don't deserve you. And you don't deserve to be spending your visit like this. So what will it be, shopping, seeing the sights? Let me run upstairs and wash this stuff out of my hair and change my clothes. I'll be ready in 10!"
* * * * * * * * *
6:30 PM - Top of the hill in the center of Port Charles
Brenda is sitting on the hood of her car watching the setting sun make cotton candy out of the clouds on the horizon. Having spent the afternoon showing the Jacks' the best places to shop, she had dropped them at the hotel and decided to come up her to think.
It had been any eye opening day. She was no longer sure if her plan of winning Jax back was really in their best interest. She had been working with such single minded determination that what was best for her, was best for Jax. BUT WAS IT?... Listening to his parents speak, she had come to the startling realization of what their separation had really done to him. All along she had operated with the belief that Jax had given up, let her go, BUT HAD HE?... From his parents revelations Brenda had deduced that the pain she caused had run much deeper than she had ever imagined.
Maybe what happened, is that he had wanted her to make a choice, to choose the better man. Sonny or Jax, Hades or Adonis?... What have I done? What did I do? Could he have thought I left him for Sonny, when the entire time I thought that Jax had given me to Sonny? Brenda slams her forehead with both fists, tears begin to fall from her tightly squeezed eyes. How could I have been so stupid? Had I been so messed up, drugged up, not to notice what was really happening around me. He thinks I walked away from him.... And I thought he gave up on me.....
As the knowledge of the damage she had actually wrought dawns, the new evening's dusting of stars appears. What had she done. Would her silly games repair the fissure between Jax's heart and mind?
As her sobs turns to whimpers, a song on the radio floated out into the darkening silence......
Don't look back now ... don't look back over years gone by
They're gone and now its time to live
Don't look back now ... you have to let your childhood go
And then you'll find a peace within ...
And you will free ... your mind to sleep
And you will free ... yourself to weep
And you will free ... your mind to sleep
And you will free ... yourself to weep
Don't be afraid ... you have so many choices
Hold your head up high and say goodbye
No second thoughts ... you have a future waiting
Take my hand and I will show the way ...
And you will free ... your mind to sleep
And you will free ... yourself to weep
And you will free ... your mind to sleep
And you will free ... yourself to weep
As the song's last notes echo down the hillside and into Brenda's mind, she comes to a decision. She dries her tears, takes a deep breath, and starts the ignition. She heads back towards town with a clear vision of what she had done and what she now need to do. She had come to terms with her yesterdays, and needed to teach Jax to welcome their tomorrows. She would take his hand and show him the way. . . . .
* Song Credit - Album "Now In A Minute" - "Simone" by Donna Lewis