by Jan
Autumn turned into early winter in Port Charles, and Brenda’s pregnancy began to blossom. The contractor finally completed the renovations on their house, and Jax and Brenda moved in shortly before Thanksgiving. Although the kitchen was a dream now with all the latest conveniences, Jax insisted on hiring a full-time housekeeper/cook, since he didn’t want Brenda to overdo. So, Louise joined their little family group.
Brenda was still keeping long hours at Barrett Industries, and was pretty exhausted by the time she arrived at the house at night. Harlan kept his promise to stay away from her, although he now seemed to check in with Keith every morning to monitor her health. Her morning sickness had declined, and other than an occasional bout of indigestion and shortness of breath, she was feeling fine.
The main thing that still bothered both Jax and Brenda (though they didn’t admit it to each other) was that Brenda was occupying the master suite and Jax was still sleeping in a spare bedroom. They made pleasant conversation and he accompanied her to every doctor appointment, but Jax retired to his study and room early most nights, and Brenda often lay in her room, hearing the clicking of his computer keyboard late into the night.
Brenda tried to accommodate her growing figure by wearing loose-fitting jackets with suit skirts, and masking zippers that didn’t close with long vests. But soon, she had to admit she needed to go shopping for some maternity clothes. The opportunity came knocking in the form of Lois, who appeared at her office one day in early December.
Keith poked his head through the doors. "Mrs. Jacks? Mrs. Ashton to see you."
Lois barreled her way through the doors, a bundle of energy as usual. "MRS. JACKS!! Don’t you look great!!"
Brenda came around her desk for an enthusiastic hug. Ever since Brenda and Jax had gotten back from North Carolina, circumstances had seemed to intervene to keep the two friends apart. First, Brenda was busy consulting on the renovations to the house. Then, Lois and Ned decided to spend some time (including Thanksgiving) with the Cerullo family in Bensonhurst. So, this was the first opportunity the two friends had to share some girl talk since Brenda’s wedding.
The squealing and hugging continued for several minutes, until Brenda pulled back, laughing. "That’s not a kid you’re growing in there, Lo! That’s a linebacker!"
Lois was already showing in her pregnancy, and her face glowed. "Yeah, but me and my Nedly got a head start on you and Jax. I’m due in March and you’re due…."
"Sometime near the middle of May," Brenda supplied. She looked down at her stomach. "But, much as I hate to admit it, I think I need to bite the bullet and start wearing maternity clothes."
"Well, of course you will," Lois replied. "You’re such a petite little thing, naturally the baby is starting to make her presence known." She grabbed Brenda by the arm. "Come on. Windom’s was supposed to be getting in a new shipment of maternity clothes this week. Let’s see what they’ve got, and then we can have lunch and some real girl talk."
Brenda really didn’t want to face this moment. Once she started wearing maternity clothes, she would be admitting that her figure was starting to balloon and Jax would really start to detest being around her. But, she finally gave in, admitting that Lois’ company was worth the sacrifice of shopping for maternity clothes.
They left the office and headed for the department store. They soon had made themselves at home in a large fitting room and had it overflowing with maternity dresses, tops, and pants.
Brenda modeled a navy, sailor-style maternity dress. "What do you think of this one?"
Lois shook her head vehemently. "Na. It looks like something my ma would’ve worn." She picked up another dress, this one in red. "Try this."
Brenda looked like she swallowed a goldfish. "Red? For me?"
Lois looked calm. "Of course, red. Why not? Red is such a good color on you."
Brenda shook her head as she slipped the dress over her head. "I’ll look like a huge fire engine, that’s why! Red is so …. Bright!!"
But then she turned to look at herself in the mirror, and she stopped. The dress tied under the bustline, and fell in soft folds over her stomach. It was a crepe material, and swirled gently as she moved. When she finally looked at herself in the mirror, the reality of her pregnancy hit her like a ton of bricks. In just a few months, she would be holding a tiny, red, howling carbon copy of Jax in her arms. His child. A piece of him. She would search its face for Jax’s features, and love it forever.
As she cradled her stomach gently, Lois came up behind her. "Kind of makes it real, doesn’t it?"
Brenda nodded, tears threatening to spill out. "You know, we went and had an ultra-sound at Dr. Meadows’ office the other day. Jax came along. He was so loving, and so gentle with me. He was actually worried that that awful gooey stuff they put on your stomach to do the test would hurt me!"
Lois laughed with her, and kept rubbing her hand up and down Brenda’s arm. "Could you tell if it was a boy or girl from the picture?"
"No," Brenda said, quickly wiping her eye. "We’ve decided we really don’t want to know. We both want to be surprised." She patted her stomach. "And the little one seems to be cooperating by being shy about its motion picture debut." She turned to look at Lois’ glowing face. "That’s what Jax calls the baby, you know. The little one." Brenda pulled the dress over her head, and put it in a stack of outfits she intended to buy.
Lois spoke cautiously. "So… I take it you’re not mad at me for calling him and telling him about the baby? I mean, so he could stop the wedding to Sonny?"
Brenda pulled on another top and started stepping into some pants. "At the time, Lois Marie, I could’ve cheerfully killed you." She gazed at her friend. "But now, I’m so glad you did. Even though I thought I would have someone to help me through the pregnancy with Sonny, I don’t think he would have given me half the support that Jax has." She lowered her head. "And, I was wrong to try to keep his child a secret from him. I hurt him terribly, Lois." She looked at Lois again with tears in her eyes. She was going to tell Lois about the terms of their marriage, but she still didn’t think she could admit it, not even to Lois.
Suddenly, Brenda decided to lighten the mood. "So, should I take this one, too?" Lois realized her subterfuge and came to hug her again.
"He’ll be alright, Brenda. He loves you. He loves you sooo much. I just know that you two and this little one," she patted Brenda’s stomach, "will make such an awesome family." She pulled back and looked at Brenda critically. "And yes, I think you should take that one, too. If I know you and Jax, if you don’t wear it for this pregnancy, you’ll need it for the next one!"
Brenda laughed, but inside she cringed. {There won’t be another pregnancy, Lois. Not if he can’t stand to touch me anymore.}
As they packed up their packages, Lois suddenly spied a bag she had brought with her into the dressing room. "Oh, I almost forgot! This is a special present for you, from Lila. I kind of let it slip that you were expecting, too, and she wanted you to have it."
Brenda smiled, then anxiously ripped the wrapping paper. It was a maternity T-shirt, and as she held it up in front of her, the two friends stared at their reflection in the mirror. Brenda started laughing so hard, tears ran down her face. Emblazoned on the front of the T-shirt were the words:
If a man says something in the forest,
And there’s no woman around to hear it,
Is he still wrong?
While Lois and Brenda were having the maternity fashion show at Windom’s, Jax had come on a mission to see Harlan Barrett. He stopped briefly at Brenda’s office, but Keith informed him that she had gone shopping and for lunch with Mrs. Ashton.
"Do you want me to page her, Mr. Jacks?" Keith asked.
Jax shook his head. "No, Keith, that’s OK. I’ll catch her later at home tonight." As he turned and walked away, he muttered to himself, "Maybe it’s just as well she’s not here. Avoid the fallout."
He took the short walk to Harlan Barrett’s office, and stared at his secretary with eyes of steel. "Jasper Jacks to see Harlan Barrett, please."
"Did you have an appointment, Mr. Jacks?"
"No. He’ll see me. Just tell him I’m here." He waited for a few moments while she buzzed Harlan, and was amazed when she got her answer.
"He’ll see you right away, Mr. Jacks. Go on in."
Jax walked into Harlan Barrett’s office, and found him staring out his picture window on the streets of Port Charles. "Jax. What can I do for you?" he asked in a flat voice, never taking his eyes off the streets.
Jax pulled an envelope out of his suit pocket. "You can start by explaining to me what the hell this is! Is this your doing?" He threw it with contempt on the desk. Harlan looked back at him for the first time, and Jax saw worry etched in his face.
Harlan came back to the desk, picked up the envelope, and took out the single sheet of paper. He read it briefly, and then threw it down on the desk. "I’d say it’s about the same thing that I received this morning." Reaching beneath his stack of files, Harlan pulled out a matching letter.
He motioned for Jax to have a seat as he took the paper from Harlan. Jax read it slowly, familiar with the message by now. The words were formed from letters cut from magazines and newspapers.
IF YOU GO AHEAD WITH THE MERGER
SOMEONE WILL PAY.
SOMEONE YOU LOVE.
Jax threw the letter down on Harlan’s desk in disgust. "I take it this is your way of telling me it’s not your idea?"
Harlan exploded at him. "Of course, it’s not my idea! I read your file, just as you asked. My lawyers have been working with your lawyers for some time now, ironing out all the details of the merger. I really hadn’t been paying that much attention to it, until now."
Jax sighed. "Well, someone wants you to pay some BIG attention to it. Any ideas?"
Harlan looked at him grimly. "I think we both know who’s behind this." Jax nodded at him silently. "But we can’t prove a d*mn thing at this point."
"Have you seen Sonny – since the wedding was cancelled?"
Harlan shook his head. "No. I hadn’t heard anything from him, and assumed that things had just washed quietly down the drain. We never actually got to the point of signing anything, thank God."
Harlan got up again, and then looked point blank at Jax. "You know, I wouldn’t do anything in the world to hurt Brenda, or Julia, for that matter. After I read that file you gave me, I realized just how much I owe you for saving Brenda from being married to that monster." He stared out the window. "It seems I’ve handled a number of things poorly in the past."
Jax shifted uncomfortably. "Well, we need to concentrate on what needs to be done now, not how to amend for the past. Have you contacted anyone yet?"
Harlan sat back down. "No. I wasn’t sure exactly how to handle it. Other than putting extra security guards on Brenda here at the office."
"You didn’t tell her?"
"No. Do you think I should have?"
"No," Jax said emphatically. "I think we should try to handle this ourselves at this point, and not involve the police. I’ve already contacted my security people, and I’m having extra people assigned around the house."
Jax sat forward in his chair, meeting Harlan’s stare. "These people obviously mean business. They may try to strike in a way we don’t suspect – maybe with a target we don’t immediately think about. I’m going to contact my brother, and have extra security people put on his wife and son. My father is also aware of the situation, and he’s ordering protection for my mother and grandmother."
Harlan nodded. "I’ll call my people and have someone assigned to Katherine right away. And I’ll call Julia in California and tell her to put some extra people on alert there. Anything else at this point?"
"No," Jax sighed. "Unfortunately, we have to wait for the mad mobster to make another move before we can take any further action. But I think we should go ahead with the merger plans, and not give in to his extortion."
"What about Brenda?"
"I’ll tell her tonight. I hate for her to have the stress right now, along with the pregnancy. But she’ll notice the guards and she’ll wonder. I don’t want to keep it from her."
Jax rose to leave. "One other thing." Harlan looked up. Jax cracked the first hint of a smile all day. "We had an ultra-sound the other day. Can’t tell yet if it’s a boy or girl, but things look great." He turned to leave, missing the misty look that came to Harlan’s face.
Jax and Brenda were to spend Christmas at the Jacks house, and Brenda was secretly glad she still had a jumper to wear that was comfortable but hid her pregnancy. Although the entire family knew about it, she still didn’t relish advertising the fact by wearing maternity clothes.
Things had been going quietly during the month of December. There had been no more threats and no unusual happenings, so Jax and Harlan had decided to relax a little for the holidays. Jane was thrilled to have such a large family to celebrate Christmas, and Josie was literally dancing around the Christmas tree with children in the house for the first time in years.
She came up behind Brenda, just as Jax was helping her take her coat off. "And next year, Lucas will have a cousin to celebrate with, won’t he?" She smiled at Brenda, and pulled her into a big hug.
Brenda still couldn’t believe how much love there was in this house. Soon after she and Jax returned from North Carolina, there was a family dinner to welcome Brenda and celebrate the wedding. Brenda had taken Josie aside to ask her about the ring.
"I think it looks lovely on such slender fingers, sweetie," Josie affirmed. Brenda was secretly thinking that the fingers would soon be swollen, but Josie squeezed her hands. "My Jasper gave me that ring when we got married, my dear, and I’m sure he’s looking down right now at us, thinking "Well, Josie, you finally did something right, you old fool!"" She stroked Brenda’s cheek. "He would have loved you, honeybuns, almost as much as his namesake does. Now wear the ring and make him happy!"
Josie interrupted Brenda’s reveries. "Brenda, are you OK?"
"Yes," she said sheepishly. "Just thinking."
At that point, Jax had come up behind her. He put his arms around her, feeling the growing miracle in her stomach. "A million dollars for your thoughts."
Josie scowled at him. "She’s probably thinking about what a horse’s rear end you were, Jasper, making her wait that long before you came to your senses and married her." He laughed at her, but Josie motioned for him to come closer. "You know, Jasper, if you had waited much longer, I would have had to kill you myself, and use your body parts for garters!"
Brenda just laughed at Josie’s determination. If she only knew that her grandson couldn’t even stand to sleep in the same room as his pregnant wife.
The family all gathered around the dinner table. John, Jane and Josie; Jerry, Bobbie, and Lucas; and Jax and Brenda. Jerry and Jax were seated next to each other, and caught up with latest happenings with the threats in a quiet conversation.
"Anything new?" Jerry said in a hushed voice.
"Nope. Harlan hasn’t gotten any new threats lately either."
"And what about the merger?"
"Proceeding according to plan. Should be complete in about 3 more months. How are things on your homefront?"
Jerry shook his head. "Bobbie isn’t exactly thrilled about having a guard all the time, but Lucas thinks it’s great! He’s made friends with Jim and actually thinks I hired him just as a personal playmate for him!" They agreed to keep in touch if there were any new developments.
"How about the baby?" Jerry asked quietly. He knew Brenda still felt a little uncomfortable about advertising her pregnancy.
Jax smiled proudly. "Want to see the latest picture?" He pulled out the grainy print from the ultra-sound. Jerry stared at it in amazement.
"Well, Jax, you old dog, you!" he said suddenly, and quite loudly. "You studly man, you! Way to go, little brother!"
Jax looked at him in confusion. Jerry pointed to something in the picture, and by now, everyone at the table was staring. Jerry said something under his breath to Jax, and Jax started laughing so hard tears were rolling down his cheeks.
"What? What did I say?" Jerry asked innocently.
When Jax could finally speak, he pointed to the picture. "That’s the LEG, Jerry, the baby’s LEG!"
As everyone at the table convulsed in laughter, even Brenda had to chuckle to herself. Christmas was so perfect when you were part of a loving family.
December’s excitement gave way to January gloom. Port Charles was blanketed in snow, and Jax’s overly protective nature kicked into overdrive. When any kind of snowstorm was predicted, he insisted on driving Brenda, or having someone drive her to and from the office. There had been a few more of the threatening notes, but nothing more than that. Bodyguards were still in place, but thankfully nothing out of the ordinary happened.
Brenda had begun planning the décor of the baby’s room in their new house. She had called the contractor, Tom, that they had used for the kitchen, and was actively in the process of turning one of the extra bedrooms into a nursery. Although Brenda was no Martha Stewart, Tom was patient and understanding. He worked with her, and even allowed her to assist him with some of the painting and decorating.
One evening near the end of January, Jax and Brenda had been invited to a social gathering at Stefan Cassidine’s estate, called Windemere. Brenda was anxious to go, since she had made friends with Nicholas during the break-up with Jax. Brenda suspected that this gathering was an excuse for announcing his engagement to his girlfriend, Robin.
Brenda got home about 6PM, and she and Jax were due at Windemere around 7:30. Jax had called her at the office to let her know he was running late, but would be home in time to change and take her to the party. Louise had kept some supper warm for the both of them, but Brenda sent her home for the night, assuring her that they would eat at the party.
Brenda climbed the stairs slowly, her added weight beginning to cause her to slow down. She still hadn’t given in to wearing maternity clothes yet, but she knew her days were numbered. There were only a few jackets that still covered her growing figure.
She took a leisurely shower, and then began to dress for the party. She put on her lingerie, and was about to put on her dress when she remembered that she wanted to check something in the nursery decorations. She glanced around quickly, and since she knew it would only take her a minute, she grabbed one of Jax’s cast-off shirts and put it on. She caught a glimpse of herself in the dresser mirror. She had to giggle – she looked more like a temptress than a pregnant lady in a man’s shirt!
She quickly ran down the hallway and turned on the nursery lights. Tom had been applying the outlines for a mural on the wall and then allowed Brenda to fill in the outlines with paint. She had stopped the other day, leaving a few animals without facial features. Tom had told her he intended to start hanging the wallpaper border tomorrow, and once that was up, it would make it difficult to finish the mural.
She looked around quickly. It was only a few eyes and noses, and Tom had left the paint cans sitting in the corner of the room. She saw a short stepladder, and pulled it over to the corner. Barefoot and in the scandalous shirt, she climbed the ladder and began painting, giving the animals facial features and smiling at her creativity. Satisfied with her work, she was about to climb back down the ladder when she heard a noise from the doorway of the room.
"Bloody hell! Can’t I leave you alone for 30 seconds!" It was Jax, and he wasn’t a happy camper. He came charging over to the ladder to hold it steady.
"Jax! I didn’t expect you home for a while yet! I was just checking…"
"Checking how to kill yourself and our baby?" His face was flushed, his breathing ragged.
"No, silly. I was just finishing the faces on this mural before Tom starts the wallpaper." She started to climb back down the ladder, but he stopped her with his words.
"Isn’t it enough for you that you expose yourself to paint fumes in here, working with Tom? What if you had climbed up here, and then gotten faint from the fumes? What if you had fallen off the ladder? What if…"
Now she was beginning to see red herself. "But I didn’t. I’m fine."
"Yes, today. I really don’t understand you, Brenda. First you almost starve yourself and don’t sleep enough. You’re still working too many hours at Barrett Industries, dragging yourself home to work on this room. You push yourself too hard. If you don’t care about yourself, you should at least think about the baby."
Tempers long repressed for other reasons were flaring. "The baby! That’s all you really care about, isn’t it? You could care less about how tired I am, as long as the baby’s OK. That’s why you’ve been going to all of the doctor appointments with me, isn’t it? You’re worried I won’t listen to all the things the doctor tells me or I won’t take the vitamins I should! You don’t care about me at all!"
"I do care about you, Brenda. That’s a lie," he said in a low tone. "It’s just obvious that I care about the baby more than you do. You agree to marry Sonny, you take foolish chances with its well-being to decorate the nursery…shall I go on?"
She looked at Jax with more contempt than he had ever seen. "Get out of here! Let me down off this thing!" She was becoming so angry, she picked up a paintbrush off the top of the ladder and began to swing at him with it.
"Now, Brenda, don’t go acting like a hysterical woman," he said patronizingly. That was the last straw.
She took another strong swing at him, and finally lost her balance atop the ladder. He was close enough to catch her as she fell off, and before she knew it, she was being held in his strong arms, gazing into his blazing blue/green eyes. Then, both sets of eyes moved downward, to her exposed body.
The shirt had pulled open in her fall, and her heaving breasts and swelling abdomen were clearly visible to Jax. Not only visible, he had his hand on her naked waistline, and one hand dangerously close to the first swell of her breast. She watched his eyes carefully, and his breathing became more ragged. He was like a man dying of thirst, but he was being denied his last drink.
Uttering an oath she didn’t quite hear, he carefully placed her on the ground and fled from the room. She stood there a few minutes, and then heard the slamming of the front door. Sinking to the floor, she had to hold back sobs. Had they really come to this point? She had been thisclose to telling him she hated him. Did her pregnant body really repulse him that badly? She hadn’t wanted to trap him into marriage, but she realized now that she was the one trapped. She was married to a man she loved desperately and carried his child, but she could never express her love.
After sitting quietly and thinking for a few more minutes, she pulled herself to her feet and sighed. She supposed she should call the Cassidines to make their excuses for the party. At least pregnancy offered any multitude of excuses for them not to attend a party. Then she had a horrible thought. What if Jax went to the party without her? Her phone call would make her look like an idiot, and everyone would know she and Jax had had a fight. Nope, best to just let them wonder. They probably wouldn’t be missed, anyway.
She made her way back to the bedroom and changed into a comfortable negligee. It was a dusty pink color, and she tied the ribbon sash under her breasts. She liked this particular gown because it was so loose and flowing, but when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she blushed for a moment. It barely covered her breasts, and probably was much too revealing for a pregnant lady. Shrugging her shoulders, she left the room. It really didn’t matter if it was provocative, because nobody besides her would see it!
She went to the kitchen and found the supper Louise had kept for she and Jax. Sitting at the counter, she forced herself to eat a warm roast beef sandwich and a large glass of milk. {Don’t care about the baby, my fanny! I’m drinking all of this milk, and eating this sandwich, even though it tastes like cardboard.} She rubbed her hand over her stomach as she finished the meal, and then turned out the lights to slowly climb the stairs.
She returned to the master suite, and picked up a romance novel from the dresser. She climbed into bed and started to read, but couldn’t seem to keep her mind on the plot. About an hour later, she heard the front door slam, and then heard steps wearily coming up the stairs. She held her breath, and then Jax appeared in the bedroom doorway. His suit coat was slung over his shoulder, heaven knows where his tie had gone, and the top 3 buttons on his dress shirt were unbuttoned. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and his hair was mussed. He looked tired, and sad, and oh so desirable. He took a few steps into the room and couldn’t tear his gaze away from her. As he stared at her with those eyes that were the color of the Caribbean, Brenda feared that he had come to say good-bye to her and end this misery for both of them.
To be continued….