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I've Got Two Legs
From "Monty Python Live at Drury Lane"
Words & Music by Terry Gilliam

I've got two legs from my hips to the ground,
And when I move them they walk around,
And when I lift them they the stairs,
And when I shave them they ain't got hairs.
I've got two...

Nicked from "The Fairly Incomplete And Rather Badly Illustrated 
Monty Python Song Book" and transcribed by John G. Wright