The Unofficial Carrot-Bird
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"Where you hear the wordabout the carrot-bird."
"In the beginning, there was just this primordial pudding. This was known as
The Universe. Now at first, this pudding had many lumps in it, lumps of poorly mixed bits
of Instant Pudding Powder. Since they were not aware that lumpy pudding was undesirable, they
were happy enough, or as happy as inanimate lumps of undermixed pudding powder could be.
They would just float there within the primordial pudding, ignorant of their true potential.
One day someone came along and added more milk to the primordial pudding. The person stirred and
stirred the pudding until it was smooth and creamy, the way pudding was supposed to be.
But there were still a few lumps. The lumps continued to be happy, just like before, until
some of the more creamy pudding pointed out that the Great Stirrer liked creamy pudding better
than the more lumpy sort. This infuriated the lumpy pudding, and they decided that the Great
Stirrer was evil. The lumps at first became sorry of being lumps, but soon they realized that
being lumpy was really what made them different. And in that fact, they found pride in lumpiness,
and the creamy pudding became envious.
And if you ask me where the Great Stirrer came from, if there was nothing but this primordial pudding,
I'll bite your nose off. It's just a story."
--Excerpt from Robert Michigan's "Food Metaphors For All Occasions.".
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Look what we got!
Relax. There's no fruitcake here. Scout's honor.
We don't claim to be the Definitive source for Carrot-Bird information.
But no one else would dare to try it...
SIGN!!! our brand spanking new Guest-Book!
PLAY!!! the Official Kick the Carrot-Bird Game, v.1.2, created by Jay Turner himself!
NOTICE!!! the fastest breaking news-stories on the News Staff Strike over on the "Carrot-Bird News Page."
REPRESENT!!! everyone's favorite hip-hop artist, MC Shaggity-Shag as he steps up to the mic to riggety-rock ya house!
ENJOY!!! The opinions of "Carrot-Bird's" creators, Jay Turner and Tony Paglia, on the Unofficial Carrot-Bird Interviews Page!.
VOICE!!! your opinions on the "hyphen" controversy. VOTE.
READ!!! the FAQ before you make a complete fool out of yourself.
VIEW!!! stills from the film "Carrot-Bird."
HEAR!!! sound-bites from the film "Carrot-Bird."
RE-ENACT!!! your favorite scenes with the script from the film "Carrot-Bird."
PATRONIZE!!! others who, out of the joviality of their spleen, feature links to this page, and maybe you could even join their distinguished ranks.
The Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Page was created to give solace to those fans of the film "Carrot-Bird," who have been so very long without a web site to call their own. The Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Page is in no way intended to be used as a selling point for anything related to or inspired by the film "Carrot-Bird." All material printed here was either written, produced or approved by Jay Turner and/or Tony Paglia, and are therefore copyrighted to them unless otherwise noted. Any email directed to the creators of this site should be sent to the email addressed given below, since the helpful goblins who do all the tedious and creative HTML coding here are ironically unable to properly forward email. If you eat a lot of Italian food, please brush before returning to the open public. Stay in school. Vegetables are good for you. Y'all come back now, y'hear?
The tree has been kicked
Damn lucky it ain't fell over yet.
All this stuff ©1997 Jay Turner and Tony Paglia.
"Carrot-Bird" ©1994 Incidental Films.
You can put it where the sun don't shine.
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The Unofficial Carrot Bird Fan Page:
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