Source: geocities.com/televisioncity/9171/fanfic

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Title: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas
Author: Michele

Twas the night before Christmas in Old Ballyk
The people were different for some moved away
Old Santa was puzzled he didn't know why
But someone had stolen his green Christmas tie

When what to his bifocaled eyes should appear
But Donal and Liam out drinking their beer
Seems Quigley had stumbled on another fine scheme
He wanted to crown a new Christmas Queen

He tried to find ladies who would fall for his lines
But no one would sign on his dotted red line
Kathleen was busy, Siobhan much too tired
and Orla had warned him she'd rather be fired

A fine Irish lass, Quigley stated quite loudly
but howcan I find one ,in this yokel back alley?
When what to his wondering eyes should appear
but Assumpta Fitgerald holding a spear

You're dead, Brian called, go away, leave me be
Brian, she told him, get on bended knee
I've been told to come back and to give you sign
You've messed up too often, you've not much more time

Ah..go on, you old witch, as if I'd believe YOU
I've seen programs on telly with a far better view
I don't scare too easy, I'm tough and I'm old
Since you've been away, I've been Brian the Bold!

She spoke not a word but went straight to her work
And Assumpta Fitzgerald, she nailed the big jerk
She took him on down with one blow to the kisser
You talk quite a bit, but listen here, Mister

I've not time to waste, himself wants me back
It's Christmas and I've come to put you on the track
Throw open your pockets, let loose your odd dough
Dear Brian, for once think of others you know

Children are crying, some have nothing to eat
While you sit by your fire and roast your big feet
Get off of your big duff and start working for others
For this is the season when all men are brothers

She vanished before old Brian could blink
But he swore as she went that she gave him a wink.
When he opened his eyes he shivered in fright
It was only a dream, I must have been tight!

But just on the odd chance that it wasn't a vision
Old Brian Quigley, he made a decision.
He paid for a round without even a quack
for Brendan and Aiden, and dear Father Mac

That Christmas Brian distributed toys
To the needy and homeless and all girls and boys
And we heard him exclaim as he wove down the street
Ah...Assumpta Fitzgerald I've done got you beat.

I've given to others, the old sod is proud
And I've plum done it all without telling the crowd
You made it to heaven so there's hope for me yet
but a voice whispered softly...I might take that bet

Father Clifford, he gasped, you've come back...that's a shock 
Peter laughed as he nodded, "I'm back with the flock."
The miracle business is still going strong
As I see by the way that you've changed your song

Then they left arm and arm and it started to snow
But outside in the sky was a warm amber glow
I've finished my work, she exclaimed as she flew
Merry Christmas to all, and a Blessed Year too!