Milhouse: Is this the untimely end of Milhouse?
Milhouse2: [pause] But Milhouse is my name!
Milhouse: But I thought I was the only one!
Milhouse2: [shakes head] A pain I know all too well.
Milhouse: So this is what it feels like...when doves cry.

Milhouse: We're through the looking glass here, people.

Milhouse: Ever since I became a movie star I've been miserable. I had to get up at five a.m. just for makeup. I like the way the blush brings out my cheekbones, but it's not worth it. And making movies is so horribly repetitive: I've said "jiminy jillikers" so many times the words have lost all meaning!
Director: We've got to do the "jiminy jillikers" scene again, Milhouse.
Milhouse: [quietly angry] But we already did it. It took seven hours, but we did it. It's done!
Director: Yes...but we've got to do it from different angles! Again and again, and again and again and again!
Milhouse: Aah! [gets dragged out screaming]

Bart: Wow! Look at all the colors, man!
Lisa: Red, green, yellow, orange! I remember all of these.
Milhouse: I'm freaking out!

Milhouse: Hey! Way to knock out my teeth.
Apu: Yeah, that's it, Milhouse, keep up the chatter.

Bart: How come I got headlice, and nothing bad happened to Milhouse?
Milhouse: [shivering] So cold. So very cold.

Milhouse: I don't understand. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but we ended in tragedy!

Tutor: Fifteen minute recess, Milhouse. The recess assignment is chapter three through seven.
Milhouse: Yay! Recess! [tears outside]
Bart: Milhouse! I found a hive of killer bees. You wanna go throw rocks at it?
Milhouse: Sorry, Bart, I'm deeply immersed in the Teapot Dome scandal.

Milhouse: [sneaking by] Uh...hi Bart.
Bart: Faithful Milhouse. You'll spend the long, hot days by my side, won't you?
Milhouse: Uh, I think I lost my glasses in your pool. I better go in and find them.
Bart: But you're wearing your glasses.
Milhouse: No I'm not.

Bart: Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket!
Milhouse: It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics!

Milhouse: You've changed, man! It used to be about the music!
Bart: I said slag off!!

Milhouse: Hey Bart, look. Krusty trading cards. The long-awaited "Eight Series".
Bart: [reading the cards] "Krusty visits relatives in Annapolis, Maryland. Krusty poses for trading card photo."
Milhouse: Hmm...he seems to be running a little low on ideas.
Bart: Well, at least you got the gum.
Milhouse: [biting it] Ow! I cut my cheek.

Bart: Milhouse...Milhouse, wake up, quick! Look out the window.
Milhouse: No way, Bart. If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded rear-admiral!

You guys are way off. It's a secret lab where they take the brains out of zombies and put them in the heads of other zombies to create a race of Super-Zombies.

Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had any goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

Bart: [with forced happiness] You believe me, don't you? You're my friend who believes me: sweet, trustworthy Milhouse.
Milhouse: Actually, Bart, you're kinda creeping me out. Uh, I think I'm gonna go sit with that foreign exchange student.

Bart: Hey, Milhouse! How's the lemonade business?
Milhouse: It's clearly booming, Bart.
[Lisa holds a glass]
Lisa: [to Bart] I don't even want any. I just bought a pity glass.
Milhouse: [gasps] We've squozen our whole supply. To the lemon tree!

Milhouse: Hey, kid: stop wearing your backpack over one shoulder. We invented that, copycats.
Milhouse2: Uh, you copied us!
Milhouse: Step over this line and say that! I'll kick your butt! [quietly] ...at Nintendo.

Abe: Aw, some things never change.
Milhouse: Hey, everybody. An old man's talking!

Database: Oh look, a clue. A candy bar wrapper.
Milhouse: Oh, they're always eating candy in Shelbyville. They love the sweet taste.

Milhouse: And the kid with the backpack said "radical". I say "radical". That's my thing that I say! I feel like I'm going to explode here...

Reward Poster: MILHOUSE! $8,000,000 REWARD - DEAD (crossed out) OR ALIVE

Owner: So you kids fancy yourselves experts, eh?
Bart: Well, between us we've read all 814 issues of "Radioactive Man".
Milhouse: Yeah, and we both have the special limited-edition issue where he and Fallout Boy get killed on every page!

Todd: [without enthusiasm] You're "it". [touches Lisa]
Lisa: [to Milhouse] Now you are the one who is "it".
Milhouse: [looking down] Understood

Bart: Well we're having the best spring break of our lives and we don't need you around nerding it up!!
Milhouse: That job is taken!!

Milhouse: Hey wait, I'm okay today!! My mom bought me deodorant!

Milhouse:But look I got some cool pogs, Alf pogs! Remember Alf? He's back, in pogform!

Bart: I'm a nerd!
Milhouse:(GASPS) So am I!

Mr. Largo: Nobody likes Milhouse!! Lisa, you have detention!

Milhouse:My mom says I'm the handsomest guy in school!

Martin: Bart,can we stop for ice cream?
Bart: Yes.
Nelson: Bart,can we weigh the car at that weigh station?
Bart: Yeah.
Milhouse: Bart,Can We Pick up that hitch-hiker?
Bart: I don't see why not
Hitch-hiker: Bart,can we stop for ice cream?
Bart:Yes.

Bart: Okay Milhouse, you know the drill.
Milhouse: Right,you go over and wow them, I hide in the shrubs.

Bart: Well, if your soul's real where is it?
Milhouse: It's kinda in here. When you sneeze, that's your soul trying to escape. Saying God bless you crams it back in. And when you die, it scrums out and flies away.
Bart: Uh-huh. What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean?
Milhouse: Oh,it can swim. It's even got wheels. In case you die in the desert and it has to drive to the cemetery.

Milhouse:(GunNoises) Take that Mom! (More Gun Noises) Take that Dad! Send me to a psychiatrist will you? (even more gun noises)Take that Dr. Sally Wexler! (Ejection seat goes off)

Milhouse: SCHOOL'S OUT!!!! UP YOURS KRABAPPEL!!!

Homer: Hey! What are you kids looking at?
Milhouse: Hey, look! He's trying to get up to yell at us!
Homer: Don't make me close that shade! (struggling noises)

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